Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:01.923 --> 00:00:08.330
recently, one major question has dominated my life Am I ready?
00:00:08.330 --> 00:00:19.442
As I find myself and my business on the brink of life-altering events, I spend a lot of time speaking positive thoughts into a hopeful existence.
00:00:19.442 --> 00:00:28.425
Join me today on Share the Struggle podcast as I work through the life-changing question am I ready?
00:00:28.425 --> 00:00:31.111
Let me tell you something Everybody struggles.
00:00:31.111 --> 00:00:36.615
The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it.
00:00:36.615 --> 00:00:39.008
The choice is completely yours.
00:00:39.008 --> 00:00:44.950
Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.
00:00:44.950 --> 00:00:52.689
If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you.
00:00:54.774 --> 00:00:59.543
Do you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations?
00:00:59.543 --> 00:01:05.254
Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you.
00:01:05.254 --> 00:01:10.271
When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense.
00:01:10.271 --> 00:01:15.412
Most disagreements, they stem from our own insecurities.
00:01:15.412 --> 00:01:22.153
You are right where you need to be Back on time.
00:01:22.153 --> 00:01:32.799
We can fight for this the whole day.
00:01:32.799 --> 00:01:33.280
Gone, we'll be fine.
00:01:33.280 --> 00:01:35.688
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
00:01:35.688 --> 00:01:37.165
Hot diggity, damn.
00:01:37.165 --> 00:01:42.750
Am I so excited to be back with you?
00:01:42.750 --> 00:01:44.012
Mm, mm, mm.
00:01:44.012 --> 00:01:54.579
It's true, it's damn true.
00:01:54.579 --> 00:01:55.760
I missed you, episode 214.
00:01:55.760 --> 00:01:56.981
So you know that means we back with more Hot Diggity Damn.
00:01:56.981 --> 00:02:00.004
214 episodes in the can.
00:02:00.004 --> 00:02:00.725
Can you believe it?
00:02:00.725 --> 00:02:05.870
And what a task at hand we have today.
00:02:05.870 --> 00:02:18.325
Y'all, today, we are going to dive into my major struggle at the moment, as y'all know, y'all already know whether you're a day one.
00:02:18.325 --> 00:02:19.106
Get your ones up.
00:02:19.106 --> 00:02:26.867
You, my loyal listener, been here since since ride or die, episode one, or this is your first one, and we're about to get them all done.
00:02:26.867 --> 00:02:28.932
I appreciate you, I welcome you.
00:02:29.741 --> 00:02:39.008
This podcast is named Share the Struggle because I truly feel like there is strength in everybody, in anybody's struggle.
00:02:39.008 --> 00:02:44.340
The key to the struggle is you have to be willing to grow through that current struggle.
00:02:44.340 --> 00:03:02.651
And you have to be willing to grow through that current struggle and you have to be willing to share that shit, because if you keep it inside, if you bottle it up, if you suppress it, you will regret it and there's nothing to be learned from the lessons and the time that is earned unless we are willing to be transparent and to share our shit.
00:03:02.651 --> 00:03:03.655
America, we're here to share our shit.
00:03:03.655 --> 00:03:05.299
America, we're here to share stuff.
00:03:05.299 --> 00:03:08.442
Yeah, uh-huh, we share stuff.
00:03:08.442 --> 00:03:20.100
That's what we do, and if I share those things with you, I hope that something positive comes to you and a lot of these conversations that we get manifesting here.
00:03:20.100 --> 00:03:28.406
We get things just blossoming up, blowing up, bubbling up, and it just turns into a reciprocal little positive event here.
00:03:28.406 --> 00:03:34.741
So that's the probably shittiest description I've ever given for the podcast.
00:03:36.025 --> 00:03:37.367
Oh man, I don't know where I was headed.
00:03:37.367 --> 00:03:46.762
I was trying to say that it's important to talk, okay, and the idea, the premise, the concept behind this podcast is that we need to talk about our stuff.
00:03:46.762 --> 00:03:54.328
Right, because if we sit on those things, we bottle up those things, then they stay inside of us and they eat us from the inside out.
00:03:54.328 --> 00:04:15.943
And if we're willing to share those thoughts, those innermost thoughts, if we can be vulnerable and transparent, then it gives other people strength and safety, because there's safety in numbers and the strength in knowing that there's somebody else out there that's doubting themselves, that's going through something, that's hopefully growing through something, and by sharing that something we all find strength.
00:04:15.943 --> 00:04:17.528
Is that a little better?
00:04:17.528 --> 00:04:18.410
Did I do any better?
00:04:18.410 --> 00:04:25.365
Our normal host would go back and delete that, but I think there's some comedic gold in there, so I'm going to leave it.
00:04:25.365 --> 00:04:27.529
That's just how I operate.
00:04:28.391 --> 00:04:41.682
So what we're going to get onto today is a little question that's been taking up the bulk of my thought process over the past few weeks and it's just a simple, simple little question.
00:04:41.682 --> 00:04:42.682
Okay, just a simple little question.
00:04:42.682 --> 00:04:44.283
Just a simple, simple little question.
00:04:44.283 --> 00:04:45.925
Okay, just a simple little question.
00:04:45.925 --> 00:04:48.086
Three-word little question Okay, just a three-word.
00:04:48.086 --> 00:04:52.810
It's not huge, it's not really really huge, just a little question.
00:04:52.810 --> 00:04:55.250
Am I ready?
00:04:55.250 --> 00:04:56.932
Am I ready?
00:04:56.932 --> 00:05:14.341
Now, the most obvious portion of this, the bulk of this, the elephant in the room when it comes to this is am I ready to be a dad?
00:05:14.341 --> 00:05:14.882
Am I ready to be a dad?
00:05:14.882 --> 00:05:15.463
Am I ready for all of this?
00:05:15.463 --> 00:05:20.091
That question repeats and replays itself in the back of my mind 967,000 freaking times.
00:05:20.091 --> 00:05:23.142
An ever-loving day okay, that happens.
00:05:24.305 --> 00:05:35.141
When I opened the show, I said to y'all that I spend a lot of time speaking positive thoughts into a hopeful existence, because I'm talking myself through this.
00:05:35.141 --> 00:05:42.504
I'm telling myself you're ready for this, you're prepared for this, or hey, reality is you're not prepared, but nobody really is.
00:05:42.504 --> 00:05:49.524
So chuck it at the wall, bucky, you're old dude, you're old, it's not like you just found out.
00:05:49.524 --> 00:05:51.250
You're going to be a dad and you're 12.
00:05:51.250 --> 00:05:59.276
You're 42, man, if you're not ready now, then Lord have mercy, you're never going to be right.
00:05:59.276 --> 00:06:02.206
Those, that stuff all happens in my mind.
00:06:02.206 --> 00:06:15.992
But what I'm trying to say here is I'm always trying to feed and fuel positive thoughts into my mind about what's about to happen and all the things I'm about to go through and all the things that, collectively, my family is going to grow through.
00:06:16.480 --> 00:06:17.963
But that, am I ready?
00:06:17.963 --> 00:06:21.048
That three little word question here.
00:06:21.048 --> 00:06:25.295
It has really, let's just say, word question here.
00:06:25.295 --> 00:06:29.576
It has really, let's just say, melted its way through every facet of my life.
00:06:29.576 --> 00:06:42.392
So I'm just going to give you a quick little screenshot on some of this and then we're going to focus in on the big agenda, the big mission, the major mission, the childbirth mission, and then we'll connect the dots as we go through.
00:06:42.473 --> 00:06:45.187
So I just want to give you a little bit of insight.
00:06:45.187 --> 00:06:52.329
We're going to peel back the onion, okay, we're going to peel back the onion, and we're going to look into my little pea-sized brain.
00:06:52.329 --> 00:06:58.846
There's a couple of spark plugs in there Just skipping a beat.
00:06:58.846 --> 00:07:02.274
Okay, they're idling A little off beat, all right.
00:07:02.274 --> 00:07:11.810
Back in the way back, there's a corn-fed harvest mouse on a hamster wheel and he's just trying to keep the lights on.
00:07:11.810 --> 00:07:12.353
You know what I mean.
00:07:12.353 --> 00:07:14.641
He's just trying to keep the lights on.
00:07:14.641 --> 00:07:19.012
There's a corn-fed harvest mouse and a hamster wheel going all motel six on your ass.
00:07:19.012 --> 00:07:31.767
He says, hey, daddy-o, we'll leave a light on for While that little corn-fed harvest mouse is peddling his ass off trying to keep them damn lights on and outside here I'm just trying to be one cool seedless cucumber.
00:07:32.048 --> 00:07:34.687
Okay, that's how this is going right now.
00:07:34.687 --> 00:07:38.591
Wow, I can't keep myself on track.
00:07:38.591 --> 00:07:42.286
This is hard for the problem here, and I'm laughing at myself.
00:07:42.286 --> 00:07:44.091
So I don't know really what that means.
00:07:44.091 --> 00:07:44.701
Am I anxious?
00:07:44.701 --> 00:07:45.483
Am I nervous?
00:07:45.483 --> 00:07:46.745
Am I sweating?
00:07:46.745 --> 00:07:47.408
Are you sweating?
00:07:47.408 --> 00:07:48.129
Is it hot in here?
00:07:48.129 --> 00:07:49.572
Wow, I'm hot.
00:07:49.572 --> 00:07:53.026
Oh God, all right, what was I saying?
00:07:53.026 --> 00:07:57.904
Squirrel, yes, the am I ready?
00:07:57.904 --> 00:07:58.627
Conversation.
00:07:58.627 --> 00:08:02.329
It has melted its way through all facets of my life.
00:08:02.329 --> 00:08:04.004
All right, it's an am I ready?
00:08:04.004 --> 00:08:08.146
Lubricant that is just lubricating my mind in all areas of my life.
00:08:08.146 --> 00:08:11.350
It's like the KY of questions.
00:08:11.350 --> 00:08:15.127
Okay, you have to, just, you have to just buckle down right now.
00:08:15.127 --> 00:08:16.665
Look, turn the mic off.
00:08:16.665 --> 00:08:18.728
Turn the mic off.
00:08:19.000 --> 00:08:20.466
This is you, me and the hamster.
00:08:20.466 --> 00:08:22.668
We're having a conversation right now.
00:08:22.668 --> 00:08:23.983
Get yourself together.
00:08:23.983 --> 00:08:30.480
You're about to be a dad, you bastard.
00:08:30.480 --> 00:08:31.922
This is how dads act.
00:08:31.922 --> 00:08:41.346
Oh God, you're trying to have a compelled, personal, enlightened conversation here.
00:08:41.346 --> 00:08:45.758
You are just trailing off, bringing sexual lubricants into a conversation about childbirth.
00:08:45.758 --> 00:08:47.250
What is wrong with you?
00:08:47.250 --> 00:08:49.347
What is wrong with you?
00:08:49.347 --> 00:08:56.293
All right, calm yourself down, be a man.
00:08:56.293 --> 00:09:03.225
In through the nose, out through the mouth, oh shit.
00:09:03.225 --> 00:09:04.207
Nose out through the mouth, oh shit.
00:09:04.207 --> 00:09:05.328
I never stopped the recording.
00:09:05.328 --> 00:09:06.850
Well, you can edit it.
00:09:06.850 --> 00:09:08.553
I'm not kidding, I won't.
00:09:08.553 --> 00:09:10.615
All right, we're back.
00:09:10.615 --> 00:09:15.575
This would be a perfect opportunity for a gut check, but we're going to rock and roll, we're going to run right through this.
00:09:15.596 --> 00:09:20.212
What I'm trying to say to y'all is every single day, multiple times, and opportunities throughout the day.
00:09:20.212 --> 00:09:22.610
Y'all is every single day, multiple times, and opportunities throughout the day.
00:09:22.610 --> 00:09:24.336
I find myself asking myself are you fucking already?
00:09:24.336 --> 00:09:36.859
I just worked myself up into a jacked up state right there because instantly as I was asking the question, I envisioned triple h coming out with a bottle of water in front of a massive sold-out crowd saying are you ready?
00:09:36.859 --> 00:09:39.065
That's a little dramatic.
00:09:39.065 --> 00:09:47.793
But when I hear that I just just learned something From here on out this spoiler alert maybe I want to end the episode right here.
00:09:48.195 --> 00:09:49.317
This might be it.
00:09:49.317 --> 00:09:58.227
Maybe I've unlocked the ever-loving secret, because the next time I find myself asking myself, I say self are you ready to be a dad?
00:09:58.227 --> 00:10:00.273
I'm going to change that to Triple H.
00:10:00.273 --> 00:10:02.217
Are you ready?
00:10:02.217 --> 00:10:10.794
And when I hear that you can't see Triple H and not yell back fucking A, I'm ready, you have to.
00:10:10.794 --> 00:10:12.288
You have to say you're ready.
00:10:12.288 --> 00:10:13.130
That's it.
00:10:13.130 --> 00:10:19.890
Podcast over dude, I unlocked the freaking secret Attention, harvest Mouse.
00:10:19.890 --> 00:10:23.592
From this point on, you have two goals keep the lights on.
00:10:23.592 --> 00:10:28.573
And number two the next time I ask myself if I'm ready, you Q Triple H.
00:10:28.573 --> 00:10:33.472
Because then the answer is always apps are freaking lootly.
00:10:33.472 --> 00:10:36.447
Thank you for supporting my American dream.
00:10:36.447 --> 00:10:38.809
Now go wash your fucking hands, you filthy savage.
00:10:38.809 --> 00:10:40.667
That's it and that's all.
00:10:40.667 --> 00:10:55.931
Biggie Smalls Okay, alright, I'm sorry.
00:10:56.533 --> 00:10:56.953
I'm sorry.
00:10:56.953 --> 00:11:10.798
I hope y'all found that as funny as I did, as badly as I would like to record the shortest episode in the history of Share the Struggle podcast.
00:11:10.798 --> 00:11:13.086
I know y'all didn't come here for that.
00:11:13.086 --> 00:11:16.673
I know you're here for the full Szechuan.
00:11:16.673 --> 00:11:19.619
I know you're here for the full spread, okay.
00:11:19.619 --> 00:11:21.116
I know you're here for a little positive motivation.
00:11:21.116 --> 00:11:25.754
Okay, I know you're here for a little positive motivation, a little inspiration, a little search for inspirado.
00:11:25.754 --> 00:11:27.407
That's what we signed up for week to week.
00:11:27.407 --> 00:11:30.456
That's why we're here, and if you're listening to the show for the first time.
00:11:30.456 --> 00:11:35.355
You 1,000% are questioning what the hell did I just tune into?
00:11:35.355 --> 00:11:41.859
Okay, if this is your first time listening, that's how the show ends.
00:11:41.859 --> 00:11:45.890
Stay tuned for another 45 minutes or so and we'll do that part all over again.
00:11:45.890 --> 00:11:47.735
I promise you Okay For the rest of you.
00:11:47.735 --> 00:11:49.249
Hope you get a kick out of that.
00:11:49.630 --> 00:11:53.885
I owe it to you to struggle through what it is I'm going through today.
00:11:53.885 --> 00:11:55.673
So that's what we shall do today.
00:11:55.673 --> 00:12:18.562
But the key is we might've unlocked a little something there, because I truly feel and I've always said on the history of this podcast, and I don't know when it was in my life that I learned this little tidbit of information, but it stuck with me the entire time and I've just kind of pounded it true from then on whatever you perceive to be true shall be true.
00:12:18.562 --> 00:12:25.205
Whatever people believe to be true, like, whatever image you're putting out there into the world, other people are seeing, reading and reacting.
00:12:25.205 --> 00:12:27.270
They're going to find their own truth in that.
00:12:27.631 --> 00:12:39.679
So when I say perception is reality, to me a little slight change can be the difference in how I react to something, how I interpret something, how I handle something.
00:12:39.679 --> 00:12:48.620
So if I can honestly change in my mind that the next time I start asking myself, am I ready?
00:12:48.620 --> 00:13:06.794
If I can actually physically envision, like just imagine Triple H coming out, me being the wrestling, freaking meathead that I am my entire life, triple H coming out asking me are you ready?
00:13:06.794 --> 00:13:08.696
That's the way Triple H would say it.
00:13:08.696 --> 00:13:13.277
If I can hear him in my mind, that will change my reaction.
00:13:13.277 --> 00:13:22.138
That will change my answer, that will shape my handling of whatever situation lies in front of me.
00:13:22.138 --> 00:13:22.938
I'm serious.
00:13:22.938 --> 00:13:26.174
That little, slight change we unlock that.
00:13:26.174 --> 00:13:27.784
We just stumbled upon that today.
00:13:27.784 --> 00:13:47.076
So that just rambling nonsense that I was having earlier enjoying my time with you because I missed you we only do this once a week Rambling down that road, I unlock something because I guarantee you left hand on that Cabela's catalog, beady little eyes to the sky.
00:13:47.135 --> 00:13:53.669
The truth from me to you, coming straight from this guy, is that those little changes work.
00:13:53.669 --> 00:14:05.850
If you can envision and imagine something to change your perception, you can change your reality by me changing the perception of that question.
00:14:05.850 --> 00:14:13.191
Going from me asking myself 900,000 times a day am I ready to hearing Triple H ask me?
00:14:13.191 --> 00:14:16.625
You damn well know I'm going to answer him different than I'm going to answer myself.
00:14:16.625 --> 00:14:29.692
The same thing happens for you, whether it's, you know, a co worker asking you something, versus your wife asking you something, your kid asking you something, your dad asking you something, a role model asking you something.
00:14:29.692 --> 00:14:37.056
Depending on how that question is asked and who it's coming from, your answer is going to be changed.
00:14:37.056 --> 00:14:38.158
We're chameleons, man.
00:14:38.158 --> 00:14:48.385
We mold and flow and change our colors and our stripes based on the conversation, based off of the room that we're in, based off of the opportunity that we're having.
00:14:48.385 --> 00:14:51.011
You understand, we change ourselves.
00:14:51.011 --> 00:14:55.692
So the answer to the question, based off of who is asking it, might change all the time.
00:14:56.335 --> 00:15:05.293
Me knowing that a role model is asking me that question with that level of intensity, I'm going to answer it with the same level of intensity and that perception can become my reality.
00:15:05.293 --> 00:15:16.057
So that's a little impromptu tidbit that we picked up on today and I'm glad we unlocked that, because I seriously, seriously, am going to use that.
00:15:16.057 --> 00:15:18.413
But that's not what the intention of this was today.
00:15:18.413 --> 00:15:30.274
I'm just happy that that came out today, because that's what happens when we talk things out, guys, we've been saying this when you just push record and have a conversation, when you decide to open up and share those inner thoughts and questions with somebody close to you.
00:15:30.274 --> 00:15:31.900
These things happen, man.
00:15:31.900 --> 00:15:44.212
These thoughts come about because if you just leave them in your mind and you don't talk them out, you never work out what a solution might be, what other obstacles might be there, what other avenues might be there, sometimes just a little little mental change.
00:15:44.212 --> 00:15:46.606
So that's the change that I'm going to make.
00:15:46.907 --> 00:15:51.407
But as I was leading into that change, I was starting to say that question am I ready?
00:15:51.407 --> 00:16:00.610
For me has been over the past few weeks, a multifaceted question, because it's gone into number one, as we talked about me about to be a dad.
00:16:00.610 --> 00:16:04.437
Number two is a big business side of life where we're going to touch on.
00:16:04.437 --> 00:16:13.686
And number three, there's just my role in my family, the to do's in my family.
00:16:13.686 --> 00:16:19.312
Now, to put this all under perspective here, to kind of, you know, put all these little nuts in a little basket here, which I should have said eggs, but I'm a weirdo.
00:16:19.312 --> 00:16:21.436
Put all my nuts in a basket.
00:16:21.436 --> 00:16:25.701
Oh my God, putting my nuts in a basket.
00:16:25.701 --> 00:16:28.509
What's wrong with you, bro?
00:16:28.509 --> 00:16:30.740
You haven't slept much, have you?
00:16:30.740 --> 00:16:34.230
You got up way early and you are in dire need of a nap.
00:16:34.230 --> 00:16:35.153
Get used to it.
00:16:35.153 --> 00:16:36.917
Sleep's not going to happen.
00:16:36.917 --> 00:16:37.597
This is weird.
00:16:37.597 --> 00:16:42.235
I'm talking to myself, but I'm saying it out loud and I'm recording it, so you're hearing it.
00:16:42.235 --> 00:16:42.977
That's awkward, right.
00:16:42.977 --> 00:16:44.630
This is me and the hamster talking.
00:16:45.044 --> 00:16:49.745
Anyhow, over the past few weeks I've done a great level of soul searching.
00:16:49.745 --> 00:16:58.059
Now I understand, at this place and time where I just happen to be and I'm expecting dad to be right.
00:16:58.059 --> 00:17:00.714
We are in that one month range.
00:17:00.714 --> 00:17:11.670
What's funny is last week I was corresponding back and forth an email with an event that I decided I was going to do and I said I'll do this event.
00:17:11.670 --> 00:17:15.193
One major condition I need to be guaranteed a camping spot.
00:17:15.193 --> 00:17:16.669
I need to get there early.
00:17:16.669 --> 00:17:22.194
Here's my schedule, this is when it needs to happen, and if you can make that happen, then I'll do your event.
00:17:22.194 --> 00:17:26.576
And I mentioned in there my wife is eight months pregnant.
00:17:26.576 --> 00:17:30.736
Camping, air conditioning is an absolute necessity.
00:17:30.736 --> 00:17:34.394
Now I got a response back to the email.
00:17:34.394 --> 00:17:39.336
They were overly welcoming and accommodating to my situation and excited, right.
00:17:39.336 --> 00:17:42.772
They said whatever a pregnant woman wants, a pregnant woman gets done.
00:17:42.772 --> 00:17:44.236
Deal, bada, bing, bada, boom.
00:17:44.236 --> 00:17:44.998
Coolest guy in the room.
00:17:46.006 --> 00:17:52.125
I was telling my wife that and her face, like her color, changed okay, and I was like what's the matter?
00:17:52.125 --> 00:17:55.131
And she said eight months pregnant.
00:17:55.131 --> 00:18:05.430
You just said that I was like yeah, and she said that I was like, yeah, and she said I hadn't really thought of that.
00:18:05.430 --> 00:18:09.719
And she's been talking about weeks and months and things, but we've never discussed being eight months pregnant, right?
00:18:09.719 --> 00:18:15.536
So that has a final destination to it, right, the clock is ticking y'all.
00:18:15.536 --> 00:18:18.887
That's a we're getting close to business conversation.
00:18:19.348 --> 00:18:32.136
So, with that being said, I know during this time there's a lot of soul searching that could happen, right, there's tons of soul searching for somebody that's about to be a parent for the very first time.
00:18:32.136 --> 00:18:45.816
Now, in my perspective, for my own personal, specific little basket that I'm dealing with here, over the past few weeks having these conversations, I've put a major microscope on my entire life.
00:18:45.816 --> 00:18:52.415
Now we are approaching the one year timeline of me losing my father.
00:18:52.415 --> 00:19:04.048
So there's some things that are happening right now in my life, like we have some big events that are happening that they're starting to trigger last time memories for me.
00:19:04.048 --> 00:19:18.556
So there's things in my life that are happening, like I'm getting ready to go to the Windsor fair and I'm getting ready for the Freiburg fair, and when I was at the Freiburg fair is when I got the phone call that my dad was being rushed to the hospital.
00:19:18.556 --> 00:19:29.787
That's when I got the phone call that he collapsed and that started my whole world changing.
00:19:29.787 --> 00:19:41.636
So I've been ultra sensitive and cognizant to all the last time things and I had mentioned to you guys, maybe last week or the week before, that I had to work on something and it happened to be a job that me and my dad had done together.
00:19:41.636 --> 00:19:53.817
The last thing we did together was working on grid wall for my business and I had to go do that project and use the same saw and do the same things that me and him did, and it triggered that last time memory for me.
00:19:54.585 --> 00:19:56.067
There's a lot of those right now.
00:19:56.067 --> 00:20:07.817
There's a lot of those because we're getting to that point where, in the next month or so, two months, is when my dad got sick and we stopped doing anything together.
00:20:07.817 --> 00:20:09.127
It's when my world changed.
00:20:09.127 --> 00:20:26.500
It's when I started going to see my dad in the hospital every day and not knowing if I was really going to see my dad or I was going to see somebody that looks like my dad but their mind and body has been taken over by an infection and I'm going to see somebody that looks like my dad, but their mind and body has been taken over by an infection and I'm going to have to process those emotions.
00:20:26.500 --> 00:20:30.933
I'm going to have to deal with my dad not really knowing me or saying awful things to me.
00:20:30.933 --> 00:20:36.132
Or am I going to go there and have my role model and my hero tell me he loves me?
00:20:36.132 --> 00:20:40.388
Or am I going to go in there and him, beg me to get him out of the hospital?
00:20:40.388 --> 00:20:49.230
All those things my whole world changed.
00:20:49.250 --> 00:20:51.799
So right now, all the last time, positive memories that me and my dad did they're approaching right.
00:20:51.799 --> 00:20:55.551
So I'm having all these moments in my life right now where I stop what I'm doing and I go.
00:20:55.551 --> 00:20:57.546
Man, the last time I did this was me and my old man.