Transcript
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Today on Share the Struggle Podcast, we have an in-depth conversation on what holds us back the impeding, slowing or stopping effect known as resistance.
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We explore worst-case scenarios, what role perfectionism plays and what your busy schedule says about you All that and more.
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On today's episode of Share the Struggle Podcast, let me tell you something Everybody struggles.
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The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it.
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The choice is completely yours.
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Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.
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If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you.
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Do you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations?
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Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you.
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When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense.
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Most disagreements, they stem from our own insecurities.
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You are right where you need to be.
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Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
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What it do, what it do Hot diggity.
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Damn, am I so excited to be back again with you?
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Look at you, baby boo.
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You look great, baby.
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Yeah, but you've been working out, eating better, taking care of yourself, saying your prayers, eating your vitamins.
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Is that what you've been doing?
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You look great.
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I just want you to know that you look really good.
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I mean, I'm married, so don't take it the wrong way, y'all okay, but I just feel like it's important for all of you listening to realize you look great and you should be feeling great.
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And I appreciate you for coming on back to episode 198.
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See what I did there, you know.
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I mean I said you look great and great and eight.
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I mean they rhyme right.
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Yeah, you should be proud of me, I'm proud of me.
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I mean I'm proud of you.
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So it's only fair, you can be proud of me.
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Anyways, that's probably the most awkward intro I've pulled off in quite some time.
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But as I was saying 198 and feeling great, I arrived at the obvious conclusion that I am surprised I had not previously realized we're so close to 200 episodes.
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Can you believe that 200 episodes is coming right on up?
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If we should do something special, I feel like we need to do something special together, y'all.
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So I'm going to open the floor for discussion.
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All right, this is the Montel Williams portion of the show.
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I'm going to ask all y'all beautiful people, because you know, what should we do.
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What should we do to honor Share the Sparkle Podcast, episode 200, vastly approaching.
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I can't believe it.
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So, without further ado, get your ones up all my day ones, as we have this talk of potentially reaching attaining the super awesome goal that we never thought possible the goal of 200 episodes.
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I didn't envision 200 episodes when I started the podcast back in July of 2020.
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So, for all of you with your ones up my day ones, I appreciate you.
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I thank you to everyone out there that this is your first one, then welcome, and I hope you tune in and listen in, and I hope you stay along in this journey.
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This builds your ride to Valhalla.
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I appreciate you.
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I talked to quite a few folks last week that were getting prepared to give Share the Struggle podcast a listen for the first time.
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So if you have stumbled upon this episode as your first episode, I welcome you and I appreciate you.
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I'd like to let you and everybody else know you can find all things podcast related over at wwwsharethestrugglepodcastcom.
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Go on over there, pay us a visit, leave a review, say how do you do?
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Why should you do that?
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Well, because I pay for it every damn month.
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If I'm gonna keep paying for a website, somebody better use it.
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Golly.
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You can find share the Struggle podcast on all major podcast platforms.
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Please, please, please, please, please, please, leave a review, hit, subscribe, grow the tribe, share this show with someone important to you.
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I hope there's going to be a message here today.
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I feel real confident about the message today, so I hope there's something that resonates with you.
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And I hope there's something that resonates with you and I hope there's something that you say huh, you know what?
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That old redneck had more wisdom than I thought.
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I bet old backyard Bill would benefit from some information here, from this positive vibe that exists with this positive tribe.
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And then you go ahead and send that link on over to Bill.
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That's what I'm getting at here.
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That's what I'm hoping for.
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All that aside, I might be rambling a little bit and I might be nervous, just a little bit, for a couple reasons.
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Number one episode 200 is fastly approaching.
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But before that, y'all, a major milestone moment and the life of yours truly is fastly us, because when this episode drops on a winning Wednesday, I am just a few short days away from finding out just what gender old baby Liberty is about to be.
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Oh my gosh, I'm nervous.
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Y'all, I'm shitting bricks, sorry, rocks.
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Anyways, that was a Christmas vacation line right there.
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Can you believe it?
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Yes, I know I shouldn't be trusted with small, impressionable children.
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It's a miracle?
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I can't believe it either, but as of Friday, the Liberty family will be finding out just what we're going to be welcoming into this world.
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I'm excited, I'm nervous.
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I'm just going to put this out there.
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I'm pulling for a boy and I don't want this to sound cheesy over here.
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I don't want this to sound selfish.
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You're ultimately praying just for a happy, healthy child, right?
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Let's be honest.
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My reasoning for pulling for a boy is that my dad talked so much about wanting a grandson.
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I just hope and pray that this is part of his wish coming true.
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And for those of you that don't know, or if I haven't already said this, if we are going to have a boy, we're going to name him Carter, because my dad's name is Art and you can put Art right in the middle of Carter and I think it just makes oh so much sense.
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So I'm really hoping and praying that we can have a little boy that can carry on my dad's legacy and my legacy and the whole family name.
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So that's something that I'm hoping for.
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But if it's a girl, we have her beautiful name already picked out as well, and we're going to be just as happy and excited to welcome her to this world as well.
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So, man, just the pressure's on, right.
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The pressure is on as to what we're going to have.
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We're going to find out on Friday and since how?
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Y'all podcast listeners, you're on this journey with us and we feel obligated to tell you, folks, some things before we tell the rest of the world.
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So I'm going to let you know On Friday when we do our gender reveal.
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I'm going to spill the beans right now and just what that gender reveal is going to be.
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Okay, not the results, because I don't know the results.
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I just told that to you.
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So quit being bushy, would you.
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What I'm trying to say is we are going to announce to you, or I'm going to announce to you, how we're going to reveal said gender.
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We had planned a skeet shoot scenario, which I think is pretty damn cool it was my wife's idea and I thought it was great where you actually purchase a skeet and they send you two of them, a pink one and a blue one.
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You have somebody that knows the identity, and they take that skeet and load it up and then pull, launch, I shoot, explodes, colors happen, tears happen, all those awesome things.
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We were excited about that.
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But upon further reviews and emphasis on reviews we realized that a lot of people say they're not that exciting or they ruin the surprise because some of the powder is leaking out before it even happens.
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And anyways, upon further review, that wasn't the way he wanted to go.
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Now I must rewind this story a little bit to let y'all know, if you don't already know, I am a sports fanatic.
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I have been raised very competitive and on sports and I am a lifelong Dallas Cowboys fan, an absolute sports junkie, if you don't already know this.
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And this week just happens to be one of the most important and exciting weeks in the lives of any football fan, because this week is the week of the NFL draft.
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It is like Christmas around my house.
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I get all jacked up about the draft.
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I just work my life around the draft.
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I know that's depressing, but there's a lot that goes into it.
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I think it's the realization of a dream for so many that I really get excited about, because as you start watching the draft stuff and you're learning about these prospects along the way, you'll learn amazing stories of hope and success for all these young men that are looking to enter the draft, and it's just a realization of the dream for so many, and a lot of that is just fantastic.
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And the more you learn about these people, you start to pull for some, you start to hope for some, and sometimes you're fortunate enough that those folks that you really like and enjoy oh my God, I just about broke my kneecap.
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Oh, funky butt loving, ah ha ha.
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Ah, son of a.
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Oh my God, oh, mama Shit, oh, that's hot.
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Oh, oh God.
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Oh, you know you do a lot of pain when it burns.
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Ah, oh my God, talk amongst yourselves.
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Ah, if it's bleeding, it's internal.
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Oh my God, that hurts so bad I can't walk.
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Oh, baby, oh Christmas, oh Christmas, ah, oh, kelly Clarkson, ah, oh, mother Teresa, oh, mama say, mama say, mama say, oh, starting to get some feeling.
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Oh that feeling, oh that burning feeling.
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Oh man, oh God, did you guys hear that?
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Holy funky butt loving?
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Oh my gosh, wow.
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A more professional host would take this out of the recording, but I'm going to leave it because you guys should know why I'm limping the next time you see me If I'm walking with a limp, because you guys should know why I'm limping.
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The next time you see me If I'm walking with a limp it's because of this episode of the podcast.
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Oh man, I hit my knee so hard my back hurts, holy caca.
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Oh, wow, that takes me right off subject.
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Man, all right, here's the deal y'all.
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I'm standing in the kitchen recording.
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I got the dogs out on the porch and I was just deep in thought and conversation and I just thought I had an itch on my leg and I picked my leg up in a violently pace, like a violent pace, a ferocious pace.
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Okay, I don't know why I was so aggressive about picking my leg up.
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I could have just been punching a football from here to the neighbor's house.
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That's how aggressively I picked my leg up.
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I don't know why.
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Maybe I was still motivated about the football talk, but when I did, I literally smashed the top of my kneecap into the countertop in our island, in our bar here.
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It literally felt like I shifted my kneecap, like it was the pointy part of the bar might've got on top and behind of the knee cap.
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It felt like I shifted it.
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Okay, and I'm just going to say this I got this tremendous burning feeling in my knee that literally right now is radiating from the top of my knee all the way to my scrotum yes, that's a technical term, because I didn't want to say anything to offend the children, and putting pressure on my leg is just nearly about impossible.
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Oh my God, does this hurt.
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Wow, get yourself together.
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Have you ever hit your knee so hard?
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I'm going to talk to the fellas right here because I don't know if this is medically possible or if I really hurt something.
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Have you ever hit your knees so hard that your testicles cramp and your lower back cramps?
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I have got a burning and an aching and a pulling that you would write to your mother about and she would find offensive.
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Wow, my leg is so hot right now.
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If there's bruising or bleeding, you won't see it because it's tattooed over.
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Anyways, mylanta, am I going to try to get back on subject here?
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I had a very motivational, inspirational message planned for today and I've distracted all of y'all already with just personal abuse, but I'm going to leave it in there.
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This episode is going to be longer than it should have been because I just had a 10-minute injury recorded live on the air, oh God.
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But I'm going to leave it.
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As I was saying, it's the draft this week.
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Okay, I get excited about the draft and I hope the people that I enjoy the most in the draft wind up on my team.
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Sometimes they get lucky enough, but it changes the direction of your team and it gives you people to root for, to pull for and just stories that you like to hear, some feel-good realizations.
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So I love the draft.
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I've been obsessed with it since I was a kid and because of that it's a real big day in my household.
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And just being as the calendar would have it, as luck should so see fit, I'm fortunate enough to find out about just what we're going to be welcoming into the Liberty household.
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Is it going to be a little boy?
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Is it going to be a little girl?
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What we're going to be welcoming into the Liberty household, is it going to be a little boy?
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Is it going to be a little girl?
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So we're going to take the birth announcement and we're going to turn it into a draft day announcement.
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So the ultrasound tech is going to fill out the paperwork on what we are having, put it in an envelope and the wife and I will do a gender reveal, nfl draft style.
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So look forward to that man look forward to that.
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Man look forward to that.
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Now that we got the pain portion of the show out the way, we're going to discuss a little thing called resistance, a force such as friction that operates opposite the direction of motion of a body and tends to prevent or slow down the body's motion.
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Fun little full circle moment here.
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This countertop just acted as a serious source of resistance towards my kneecap because it definitely prevented my body's motion.
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But that's not what we're about to talk about when it comes to resistance.
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We're going to take a better look at resistance and the impact and role it plays in our lives on day-to-day, our relationships, our businesses and how we live.
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All that to come.
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Gotcha Resistance the impending slowing or stopping effect exerted by one material thing or another.
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In business and in life, I feel that we manufacture resistance.
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The definition of resistance that I just used the impending slowing or stopping effect exerted by one material thing or another material.
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We're identifying a material thing, something that stops our movement, like this countertop on my kneecap.
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But in business and in life, I feel like we manufacture resistance.
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Material resistance could be the fact that, hey, we don't have the finances to move forward.
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We don't have the finances to make that decision.
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But oftentimes it's not just the material things that we find as resistance, because we're manufacturing resistance.
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Material resistance could be those finances that I can't afford to make that choice, that decision, to make that move.
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But a lot of times we manufacture resistance.
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We create an emotional resistance, an emotional resistance that holds us back, that keeps us from moving forward, that paralyzes us and prevents us from believing and achieving the dreams that we have for ourselves.
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Now these things can imply to personal relationships.
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These resistance, these emotional resistances that we create in our own minds.
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It can prevent you from a happy, healthy relationship.
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If you're listening right now and you've been in and out of relationships, or you're in a difficult one right now, or you're're single right now, and you start to think about these things, you can start to run a parallel and identify some emotional resistances that you've created that have kept you from being happy, that have prevented you from being in a loving relationship.
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There's going to be some things as we talk today.
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I'm going to focus this a lot more on business today, but I also want to be conscious of all the people in the room that don't own a small business, that aren't an entrepreneur.
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This resistance it's about life y'all, it's not just business.
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This resistance is in your personal life, in your emotional life and maybe your business life.
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You don't need to own a business, but maybe there's some inner working conflicts that you're having at your place of work.
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There's some resistances there, some relationships there that are preventing you from enjoying the job that you have as much as you should.
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Maybe they're preventing you from applying yourself for that promotion, for bettering yourself in your current situation.
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So you might hear me have a little bit more of an entrepreneurial focus today, because I'm going to be talking about this resistance and part of the impact it has on my business.
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Because the only way for us to learn and grow from this and this particular topic, I feel like, is for me to share some things that are personal, to relate to what it is that I know and that's myself and my current situation and where I'm at.
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But I feel like, as is the name of the podcast, share the Struggle as we share our struggles.
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There is strength in the struggle and there's room for inspiration in everybody's story.
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So when I'm saying things, I'll do the best I can to drop in some similarities here where we can connect the dots between a relationship and a business scenario.
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But I just want everybody, as always, to listen to these conversations with an open mind and an open heart and realize that there might be things that we can run a parallel to in our life, even if we don't own our own small business.
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So I just kind of want to put that little disclaimer out there.
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Now I have this ongoing thing where I'll have conversations throughout the week with a lot of my friends that are business owners and we share a lot of our struggles, and you guys have heard me talk about conversations that I've had with Matt and Sarah from Ledgeway Farm, scott from Freedom Designs, pam and Paul from Walson Woodcraft.
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I have this whole select group of folks that are business owners that we tend to bounce ideas and thoughts and things off of each other, and Kyle from Underdog Metal and my man, ed, that owns Main Street Barbershop.
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I have all these different business owners that throughout the week I often have a conversation with at least one of them, and one of the conversations I had this week was actually with my man, darren Clark, finnegan, owner operator, lost Valley Brewing Company, dcf, a brother of mine.
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We've worked in the trenches together at Harley-Davidson.
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When I left Harley.
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He did it the exact same time, the exact same day, and he went and chased his dream of opening his brewery or his brewery was already open, but he committed himself full-time to that.
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And I've had Darren on the show.
00:21:02.941 --> 00:21:09.913
He was my first guest and one of my only guests, but, uh, we often just touch base with each other and have these conversations.
00:21:09.913 --> 00:21:22.583
He doesn't know that I'm going to share any of this, um, but the conversation that we had yesterday was that in a matter of 30 days, in a matter of the last 30 days in the state of Maine, four breweries have gone out of business.
00:21:22.583 --> 00:21:23.244
Think about that for a minute.
00:21:23.244 --> 00:21:25.573
In the last 30 days in the state of Maine, four breweries have gone out of business.
00:21:25.573 --> 00:21:27.800
Think about that for a minute.
00:21:27.800 --> 00:21:33.817
In the last 30 days, four breweries have gone out of business.
00:21:33.817 --> 00:21:40.521
I'm not going to name all the breweries and get into all of that, and there's a lot of things that we can think about and analyze.
00:21:40.582 --> 00:21:48.909
As soon as you hear that, number one, you can look at the industry and the trends and you can start asking yourself how many breweries are around.
00:21:48.909 --> 00:21:50.452
Is it a saturated scenario?
00:21:50.452 --> 00:21:55.097
You can look at that and you can make that connection and that analysis.
00:21:55.097 --> 00:22:04.650
You can also think about the economy and where we are in business currently and you can start thinking about holy shit, four businesses out of business in 30 days.
00:22:04.650 --> 00:22:10.861
And then you start hearing of other businesses that you know of that are gone out of business and it starts to have this compound effect.
00:22:11.502 --> 00:22:25.789
I was just talking to Scott from Freedom Designs both some friends of yours that are in the mortgage industry and how the housing market has cost a lot of those folks to leave real estate and to close businesses and start new jobs.
00:22:25.789 --> 00:22:50.586
And you just start to think about all these things and it's really easy for you and for me or anybody that is a small business owner, to all of a sudden manufacture some emotional resistance here, because I can start to think about this and I can draw the conclusion that this economy sucks.
00:22:50.586 --> 00:22:52.289
People are sitting on money.
00:22:52.289 --> 00:22:57.383
I've had these recent events where I'm breaking, eating or losing money.
00:22:57.383 --> 00:23:13.010
I start to think all the way back to last year when, if you guys are day one listeners and you've been listening for all this time you know that probably 90% of my events last year were down by at least 50%.
00:23:13.010 --> 00:23:14.619
So you start to think about these things and you say is there a sign here?
00:23:14.619 --> 00:23:15.923
Is there a connection here?
00:23:15.923 --> 00:23:22.269
That's telling me that you're going to be the next one, that's telling me you're going to be out of business.
00:23:22.269 --> 00:23:26.951
That's telling me maybe you should make some different decisions before you are out of business.
00:23:27.681 --> 00:23:42.590
That is what I consider emotional resistance, because you start to manufacture resistance in your mind based off of what's going on around you, based off of outside circumstances and forces outside of your own control.
00:23:42.590 --> 00:23:57.224
That, in turn, a lot of these things don't have any impact on you whatsoever, but we start to create this emotional resistance and what can happen by doing this is we can create a doomsday theory.
00:23:57.224 --> 00:24:00.270
A worst case scenario comes into your mind.
00:24:00.270 --> 00:24:05.228
So let me just kind of give us a little bit of an example as to how this can go.
00:24:05.228 --> 00:24:07.542
Last week the wife was on here.
00:24:07.542 --> 00:24:12.663
We had this conversation about being in Connecticut and our event not going the way we wanted.
00:24:12.663 --> 00:24:19.544
We talked about day one of our event, working 14 hours and then making $80.
00:24:19.544 --> 00:24:27.654
You start thinking about 42 hours of work per person, so 84 hours invested, to then lose a few hundred dollars.
00:24:27.654 --> 00:24:31.448
You hear these breweries going out of business.
00:24:31.448 --> 00:24:36.691
You read about all these other businesses, you hear the conversations at the convention about people not making money.
00:24:36.691 --> 00:24:40.487
You can create a doomsday theory.
00:24:40.487 --> 00:24:50.794
You can come up with a worst case scenario and I'm telling you, on Saturday, me and my wife ran through every potential possibility scenario of that worst case scenario.
00:24:50.794 --> 00:24:56.353
Because you go from I don't know if we're going to break even to we're going out of business.
