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Today on Share the Struggle Podcast, we have a quick, hitting episode intended to update and forecast the biggest event of the year so far for Loud Proud American and a quick Q&A convo on communication.
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A cautionary and reactionary tale that hopefully provides clarity on communication.
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Let me tell you something Everybody struggles.
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The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it.
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The choice is completely yours.
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Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.
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If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you.
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You have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations.
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Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you.
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When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense.
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Most disagreements, they stem from our own insecurities.
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You are right where you need to be.
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Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
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What it do, what it do, hot diggity.
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Damn, am I so excited to be back with you, mm-mm-mm.
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Oh, it's true, it's damn true.
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Beautiful people, how you feeling, how you doing, how's your mom and them, how you be doing, yeah, yeah, what's happening.
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Welcome to episode 205 and I hope you're feeling alive.
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That's a cheesy little ditty I just came up with on the fly.
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If you couldn't already tell, 205, the streak continues.
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Today's show might be a little bit more of a quick-hitting show because I gots to go.
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Okay, I'm just going to put it out there to you y'all we are in the middle of the biggest, the longest event of 2024 up to date.
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For 2024, as of right now, okay, as of right meow in the year, this is our biggest, longest event.
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We are currently at Bentley Saloon for Laconia Bike Week and I think it's like a 10 or 11 day stretch, I can't really remember, but we're going to be there for a little bit longer.
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Okay, so today we're going to go ahead and give you an update as to how things are going, forecast, where we think that they're going.
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But I gots to get going because I'm recording this in the morning and I have to get down to the saloon and get opened up.
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Today, on the day I'm recording this, there's actually a ride coming from Laconia Bike Week to the saloon, so I'm anticipating a good amount of business today.
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I'm flying solo at the shop today, so I'm hoping that things go well and we make some money because, as of right now, things haven't been going all that great at this event.
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Um, just gonna put it out there to everybody, just to you know.
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Put it on the table.
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Little, uh, little lpa confessional, right here as I get out my cabela's catalog, put my my left hand on the catalog of my beady lies to the sky and tell you so far we ain't doing that good, okay, we're down.
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I would say at least 60% compared to last year.
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I'm somebody that likes to self-evaluate and look at these things and say, like, what can I be doing?
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What am I missing?
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What do I need?
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Like, what's the dealio right?
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So I'm that type of dude and I'm doing all those things and asking all those questions, and I'm going to lean into the fact that I really haven't seen a lot of people as of yet.
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The way things are going this year it looks like it's less of an attendance by far but also the way we're set up as vendors.
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People are allowed to enter the bar from the back and then we don't even see them.
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So if they drive around to the back parking lot and then just go in for the entertainment, we never actually see them.
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So, uh, that's definitely been a downfall.
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We're off.
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Uh, I would be uh fair in saying that every single vendor that's present at this event is down at least 50%.
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So I'm not going to take all the blame on my products on this one.
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I'm just going to kind of analyze the facts and figure things out, what I am going to say as I begin to forecast what's to come.
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The bigger things are about to happen.
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So today there's a ride coming in.
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I expect a good boost from that.
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We lost most of our day on Sunday to rain.
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So today there's a ride coming in.
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I expect a good boost from that.
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We lost most of our day on Sunday to rain.
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So those things do affect you in a big way.
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Sunday's a big money-making day.
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So, yeah, get those things behind us.
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Some of the bigger, better things are upon us.
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Some of the events that I'm going to host, which one of them is a downfall tomorrow, I'm excited.
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So, actually, when this podcast comes out, if you're a weekly listener, if you're a day one, get your ones up, get your fingers up.
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If you listen on release dates, if you're a winning Wednesday kind of guy or gal and you listen when these things drop, then, as this episode's dropping, I'm probably getting a little anxious about hosting a tattoo contest at the saloon this evening because I haven't seen a lot of people reach out and attempt to sign up or anything.
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So that makes me a touch nervous.
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And we have some important people in the room for this tattoo contest.
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So I'm really hoping that we can pull this off and that this is another opportunity for me.
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I feel like this could be a tipping point, you know, an opportunity to show my skill set to some other people, maybe open up the doors for some other events for me in the future.
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Grow and evolve and we take things off our list and you know we look at things that are, you know, potential in the future, like last week we talked about my desire to be in Nashville and the fact that we sent our first couple cases of shirts to Tennessee.
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I don't have updates on that all yet, so I'll have to get that to you guys at a later date.
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But as I think about those things, I have to realize that some of the things that I'm currently doing are some of those things that I've always been doing.
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At some point.
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It's just the nature of the business as you continue to evolve and grow, you're going to have to say goodbye to some of those things.
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So you know, I'm looking at this as an opportunity that maybe this opens the door to me doing other events for other people in other locations, and that that could be a great launching pad for the business and the brand to different avenues, to different uh customers and different regions and clientele and all those good things.
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All those things you need to grow.
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So I'm really hoping this event goes off well.
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Uh, if you haven't been listening along and heard my sales pitch on this, I'm stoked about the three judges that we have Tommy Ringwald from Tommy's Tattoo Supplies, a massive supply company in the tattoo industry.
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Also, tommy hosts two of the largest tattoo competitions in the world yes, world.
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He has these big conventions at Mohegan Sun the casino in Connecticut, and Tommy's conventions I know the one in April is in the top five in the world as far as attendance goes.
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So he knows what he's doing.
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Right, he's going to bring with him Jimmy Snaz from Ink Master seasons 11 and 13,.
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Co-champion in season 13,.
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And a local tattoo icon, chad Chase from Venom Ink, who's been in many tattoo magazines and is just a realistic tattoo beast.
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These guys are our panel of judges.
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I'm hosting it, putting the brand front and center investing in this event, really hoping this goes well.
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The downfall to this is my wife has to work, people are busy.
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I'm probably going to have my tent closed for business while I'm hosting this event and this event is going to be inside, which is going to not really bring patrons to the outside, to the vendors.
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So that's kind of a downfall.
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On that note, on Saturday we have the pinup contest.
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That has been the busiest day of the year by far every year at the saloon and what I'm looking forward to this year is, if we get some sunny weather, it's going to be a big boost in business because last year we weren't even able to open our doors.
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I had some people wait around after the pin-up contest that asked me to open so they could spend a few bucks on some things.
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But that's our biggest day of the week.
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When you take your biggest moneymakers of the whole experience, the whole event, the whole 10 or 11 days, and you take it off your schedule, it's hard to make that a successful event.
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So if I can just tread water the rest of this week and then get a nice sunny Saturday, I can make this whole event up.
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We can overcome this down 60% and we can put a real positive spin on this event.
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So we're getting into um.
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The better events we're getting into, the better opportunities for the business to uh succeed this week.
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So today we got a ride coming in, um, or the day you're listening, I'll be hosting a tattoo contest.
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Uh, we have some bigger bands coming in and uh, and we have a bike show, the pinup contest, all these things.
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So I'm hoping for a great weekend.
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I know I'm going to get the opportunity to spend the weekend with some people that I love and care about.
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So it just elevates the possibilities and the mood in the room, right, everything raises and rises.
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I know some loyal listeners a few of you listening that are going to be able to make it out.
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This weekend I'm going to get to spend some time with some close folks that I love.
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Y'all.
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I appreciate you Looking forward to seeing you.
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And over the past few years, actually ever since the brand started, my brother, brian, or brother from another mother, brian and Christy they come over and run our tent for us.
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So exciting times, right, exciting times, and my wife's going to be a guest judge yet again in the pinup contest.
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The actual pinup contest falls on my wife's birthday, so she's going to be in her full glory.
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She's living her best life, pregnant, enjoying herself.
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She's going to double down on the pinup contest as a judge, full dressed up, not breaking character, keeping that streak alive.
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And it's going to be her birthday, so it's a win-win-win.
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We're looking forward to a fantastic, positive weekend.
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So I'm forecasting success on the other side of this reign.
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I'm forecasting success on the other side of this rain.
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I'm forecasting success on the other side of this pain.
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I think this event will turn.
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I do feel like it shall turn, and I guess we'll be giving you the recap on episode 206.
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Because when 206 drops, this event will be behind us and I'll be getting ready to set up at another fair, the first time I've ever attended this local fair next to my house.
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Uh, the lock a mess.
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So, yeah, man, things are rocking and rolling.
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I still haven't heard back from um, all the places that I've reached out to, but we're trying to piece them together, to pick them up and to put them down and hope that, uh, everything all shuffles out and works out so.
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So that's the update, that's the forecast.
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On the other side of this little break-a-roonie, we're going to get into some more uncomfortable conversation.
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Gotcha, gotcha, skin around intact.
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So much more than that.
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Spin around and attack.
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So much more than that.
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Ladies, kick this mind.
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Business for the kids, all right, all right, all right, let me read this little disclaimer here to get this uncomfortable conversation, slash, communication situation underhand before we get ready to partake and undertake the most difficult things we can get after, and that's communicating and having those difficult conversations, the uncomfortable conversations.
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My disclaimer is I am in no way an expert.
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I in every sense of the word will screw this up, but what I can tell you when I place my hand on the Cabello's catalog and my eye to the sky, that the truth from this guy is I always come at it from the right place for the right reasons and I do the best I can to deliver it in the best way that I possibly can.
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It doesn't always go the right way.
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Far too often we plan and we overthink and we overplan and we under deliver on our message.
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I've said this many times because we've had many, many conversations, many, many episodes along our 205 episodes on communication and more specifically, on uncomfortable conversations and communication, and I've always said keep Triple H in mind humble, heartfelt and honest.
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If you keep those three things in mind and you're coming from the right place and you're doing it for the right reasons.
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So, if you can be humble, if you can admit your faults, if you can be transparent, if you can be supportive, do those things right.
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If you can be heartfelt, say it because you believe it, say it because it's true, say it because it needs to be said, because it's crucial.
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Right.
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If it's heartfelt and you're putting it out there, you're putting your heart into it, you're in it for the right reasons.
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The person receiving this conversation whether it's misrepresented, whether it's misunderstood, whatever that situation is, if it's heartfelt and they need to understand you're coming at it from the right place.
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And if you're being honest, if you're straight up, being honest, then you're not lying, you're not creating, you're not recreating, you're not forecasting, you're not predicting, you're not stirring the pot.
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You are being honest.
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If you deliver on those three things triple H heartfelt, humbled and honest.
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If you do those three things, you deliver the message with those three things in mind.
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Even if all shit hits the fan, you can't beat yourself up because you went in it with the right intentions, the best of intentions.
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You are humble, heartfelt and honest, heartfelt and honest.
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Too often we enter into uncomfortable conversations for the best reasons, with the best intentions, and they don't go the way we wanted them to go, the way we anticipated them to go, and more times than not, you might come out of that conversation feeling like shit.
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You might come out of that conversation saying like shit.
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You might come out of that conversation saying why did I bother, why did I do this?
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Now, I got to suffer through this.
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What you need to tell yourself is, if you did all those three things, if you implemented the triple H philosophy that we've coined here on Share the Struggle podcast and you had all the right reasons for the conversation, then, in my true opinion, it needed to happen.
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And the results are the results, the aftermath, the way the puzzle gets put back together.
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That's all the way it's supposed to go.
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You understand, you can't beat yourself up, and I'm having this conversation because this is going to be a real-time, raw response to a situation in my life that's currently going on in my life.
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That is essentially what happens every damn week on Share the Struggle podcast, but as I am engulfed in this situation and it's affecting everything about me.
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I found myself thinking about the podcast and some of the messages and episodes we've had on Uncomfortable Conversations and I realized that so many times we've had these conversations on here and I always look at the positive side of the conversation.
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I always look at you guys are going to leave the room feeling better for the conversation and I do truly feel like that is the outcome most of the time.
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But we need to be prepared for when the shit hits the fan and the conversation doesn't go the way you wanted it to go, no matter how much you planned and prepared for that conversation.
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So, to kind of dial the clocks back here a little bit, to roll back the hands of time, we've had conversations where, back in the day, when I was running a Harley-Davidson dealership, whenever there was a situation, whenever there was an inter-staff situation, I would get all members of that situation together and close the door and we would be transparent and we would lay it all on the floor and by the end of that conversation you might not have all agreed with each other, but you understood each other and the truth of the matter is when you got up, when you stood up, when you shook hands and you gave hugs and you walked out of the room.
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You all grew a little bit.
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You grew as a person, as an adult.
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You grew as an employee, a coworker, a friend, a colleague.
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You grew in so many ways by being heartfelt, humbled and honest, by being transparent, by putting yourselves on the line, being vulnerable.
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A key in these conversations is being vulnerable.
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By doing those things, even if you guys can't find a common ground like you're, just like we're going to agree to disagree.
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The fact you entered into that conversation together, you put aside the silo bullshit that happens inside of you know workplace drama, trauma, all that nonsense the fact you even had that conversation.
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You walk out of the room feeling good about it, and some of the best relationships I have in my life have stemmed from a willingness to have uncomfortable conversations.
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You've heard me and my wife talk about it many, many times, so I've always shared with you the positive side of the uncomfortable conversation.
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But what happens on the other side?
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What happens on the other side of that conversation when it doesn't go right, and how do we pick up the pieces?
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So on today's episode of Share the Struggle podcast, we're going to briefly get into communication and I'm going to try to pose this almost as a Q&A and I know you can't really have a Q&A with nobody else here, but I'm going to ask you some questions as we go and you can answer them for yourself, and you can feel free to reach out to me and drop an answer if you'd like as well.
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That's how today's show is going to go Now.
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I heard a line, actually in a book right now on communication Shocker.
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When these things are going on in your life, I think you dial into something right Like when you know you have to focus on communication.
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When there's a situation that has to be talked about, you try to prepare for those things.
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At least I do.
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So I'll turn into my research or whatever I can in my downtime.
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Most of the time right now, that's if I'm at the gym I'll plug that book into my head right.
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So I heard a line that says the right conversation at the right moment can change everything.
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My recent experience has me rewriting that line and asking myself this the right conversation at the right moment can change everything.
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The right conversation at the wrong moment can change everything.
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Think about that.
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You can have the best of intentions, you're trying to deliver the best conversation possible, but if it's at the wrong time, then you're going to have the wrong result.
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And you don't often know what's the right time and I think you can mix right and wrong here and you can change the outcome of this little quote.
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The right conversation at the right moment can change everything.
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The wrong conversation at the right moment can change everything.
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You understand.
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It could be the perfect time for that sales pitch.
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It could be the perfect time to ask her out on a date.
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It could be the perfect time to ask for the promotion.
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But if you do it in the wrong way, then you're going to have the wrong results.
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If you are having the best intended sales pitch first date question, promotion question If you prepared for it and you plan for it, but it's at the wrong time, you're going to have the wrong result.
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So the key to communicating is you often need the right conversation at the right moment if you want to have the right result.
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But life doesn't always create those two right opportunities.
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You understand we have to roll with the punches and figure things out.
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That is where the issues tend to lie, sometimes right, and I feel like there's ways of ramping up the difficulty level when it comes to an uncomfortable conversation, and when we think about uncomfortable conversations, the options are endless, right?
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So I'm going to ask you, what do you think of when I say we're about to have an uncomfortable conversation?
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What do you think of?
00:21:53.585 --> 00:21:54.744
What do you think that topic is?
00:21:54.744 --> 00:22:01.707
Or if I ask you, what's the last time you had an uncomfortable conversation, then what is that topic?
00:22:01.707 --> 00:22:03.446
What was that conversation?
00:22:03.720 --> 00:22:04.210
It could be many things.
00:22:04.210 --> 00:22:05.531
It could be being unhappy at work, could be many things.
00:22:05.531 --> 00:22:08.066
It could be being unhappy at work with a coworker.
00:22:08.066 --> 00:22:09.830
It could be an issue at home with a spouse.
00:22:09.830 --> 00:22:17.229
It could be an intervention type of situation where you have to have a conversation with someone that you care about, about some of their habits.
00:22:17.229 --> 00:22:18.232
You ever had one of those.
00:22:18.232 --> 00:22:21.002
Those can be extremely, extremely difficult.
00:22:21.002 --> 00:22:30.189
And as we talk about difficulty, I think we begin to layer levels of difficulty and we increase the amount of difficulty.
00:22:30.189 --> 00:22:38.446
The closer you are to the person you understand, the closer you are, the more you care, the higher the difficulty.
00:22:38.446 --> 00:22:52.646
It's a little easier and it can still be uncomfortable and shitty if you have to have a conversation with a co-worker, with an employee, with a boss, because you're close but you're not married close.
00:22:52.646 --> 00:22:59.487
You're not related close, so as you start thinking about those layers of closeness, it can make things difficult.
00:22:59.487 --> 00:23:13.679
That's like what's more of a higher difficulty level Having an uncomfortable conversation with your boss because that could affect your paycheck and everything, or having it with your best friend, because that could affect the relationship that you've had for 20, 30 years.
00:23:13.679 --> 00:23:17.203
The closer you are, the greater the difficulty.
00:23:17.203 --> 00:23:23.830
So let's continue our Q&A portion of this.
00:23:24.536 --> 00:23:43.619
If someone who you cared about deeply, someone that you genuinely care about, whether it's your spouse, a relative or a best friend if someone you cared about was doing something that was impacting their lives more than they realized, would you say something?
00:23:43.619 --> 00:24:01.102
Would you say something If someone you cared about was doing something that was impacting their life more than they actually realized in that moment and you're starting to develop a track record of those things happening would you say something?
00:24:01.102 --> 00:24:12.086
Man, I wish that I could have a live show and you guys would fire things back and forth at me here, because I would really love to hear some answers here.
00:24:12.086 --> 00:24:14.863
Let's layer upon this a little bit more.
00:24:14.863 --> 00:24:28.798
If someone you cared about was doing something that was impacting their life more than they realized, but it wasn't necessarily impacting your relationship with them, then would you say something?
00:24:28.798 --> 00:24:37.907
So they're doing something, their actions are doing something that you know is impacting their life, but it's not necessarily impacting your relationship with them.
00:24:37.907 --> 00:24:39.266
You just see it affecting other relationships and other opportunities in their life, but it's not necessarily impacting your relationship with them.
00:24:39.266 --> 00:24:42.825
You just see it affecting other relationships and other opportunities in their life.
00:24:43.467 --> 00:24:44.916
Would you then say something?
00:24:44.916 --> 00:24:53.066
So do you sit on the sideline and say, hey, man, that doesn't affect me and this is a conversation that I don't want to touch, I'm not going to get involved in this.
00:24:53.066 --> 00:24:59.448
Or do you say this doesn't affect me, but I need to have this conversation because someday it could affect me?
00:24:59.448 --> 00:25:10.029
Or if I'm not the one that steps up and has the conversation, then I don't want to see the further damage this person could have to long-lasting, impactful relationships in their life.
00:25:10.029 --> 00:25:12.262
Those are big questions to ask ourselves.
00:25:12.262 --> 00:25:14.742
Would you say something?
00:25:14.742 --> 00:25:24.964
Say something before it goes any further, before it hits a point of no return, before it has detrimental consequences on their relationships and their opportunities.
00:25:25.025 --> 00:25:25.988
Would you say something?
00:25:25.988 --> 00:25:40.755
Now I'm just going to project as to what some of y'all might be saying, because you folks, y'all this podcast, tribe, the Share, the Struggle, positive vibe and tribe that we're building.
00:25:40.755 --> 00:25:49.679
You're a different breed, y'all possess an elite skill set and you have a tolerance for getting uncomfortable.
00:25:49.679 --> 00:25:54.154
I feel like the majority of you listening would say hell, yeah, I care about that person.
00:25:54.154 --> 00:25:56.434
I'm going to step up and I'm going to say something.
00:25:56.434 --> 00:26:10.442
The truth is, I think if we polled the overall population in this pussification of America that we've been living through, we would be the chosen few, the elite few.
00:26:10.442 --> 00:26:15.890
We would be that special Navy SEAL type group.
00:26:15.890 --> 00:26:27.978
Okay, we're the ones willing to sacrifice our relationship, our feelings and get uncomfortable for the better of our friend, our close person, our connection, our spouse, our sibling.
00:26:27.978 --> 00:26:35.358
We're willing to take those chances because that's a commitment we have to that person, the rest of society.
00:26:35.358 --> 00:26:49.807
I truly feel like we're at a point in time now where they say I'd rather not, I'd rather not, it's not affecting me, I'm going to let this go, let's drop another layer of difficulty on this uncomfortable conversation.
00:26:49.807 --> 00:26:52.803
So we're ramping things up.
00:26:52.803 --> 00:27:01.636
We're taking somebody that's now super close to us, so that difficulty level, that intensity level, that risk versus reward is way higher.
