Transcript
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One month in on 2025, and I know many of you are struggling to keep your dream alive.
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Whatever the dream is, no matter how big or how small from a New Year's resolution to some life-changing transitions you're probably facing resistance and self-doubt.
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The old fake-it-till-you-make-it has you struggling with imposter syndrome.
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Well, today on Share the Struggle podcast, we tackle three behaviors to establish some humble confidence.
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Let me tell you something Everybody struggles.
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The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it.
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The choice is completely yours.
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Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.
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If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you.
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Do you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations?
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You have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations?
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Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you.
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When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense.
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Most disagreements, they stem from our own insecurities.
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You are right where you need to be.
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Good lord, am I so excited to be back with you?
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Oh, it is true.
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It is damn true.
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Episode 238 and I should be feeling great.
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But I wouldn't be honest, I wouldn't be truthful if I was telling you I'm feeling, oh so great.
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Nope, I can't do do it.
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I can't lie to the people.
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It's not who I am.
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That's not what this show is all about.
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It's about truth, transparency, can't you see?
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So, with that being said, I am going to start off today's show with a full frontal confessional.
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Okay, let me grab myself a Cabela's catalog.
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That's a ball.
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You caught me.
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That's a.
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It's a piece of paper, but I'm gonna pretend it's a cabela's catalog because, uh, I'm gonna put my my little hand on it, my beady little eyes to the sky, and I'm gonna preach the truth from this guy right here.
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I just have my ass whooped by a four-month-old oh, should be five months in a few days.
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So I should give myself some credit.
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Maybe this isn't so bad.
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Five months, it can be pretty vicious, am I right?
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Good God, almighty.
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One of the reasons why I'm not feeling so great is my head is pounding.
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I literally.
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I have my headphones on my podcasting headphones so I can pick up on the sounds.
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Make sure things are sounding really nice.
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Well, it hurts.
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It hurts America Like I can.
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I can literally hear and feel the pulse in my freaking brain right now, because I've been screamed at so ever-loving much.
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Today, wow, what's today a day?
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Goodness Five in the morning.
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I get up, bring my mom to work.
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I come home, go to the office, get some work done, sneak outside, do some barn chores.
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I come in baby, mama and baby, looking good, feeling good.
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They're in a great mood, right, mama and baby, baby and mama, baby, mama.
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Okay, they're doing good.
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They're looking good, feeling good.
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They're in a great mood, right, mama and baby, baby and mama, baby, mama.
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Okay, they're doing good, they're looking good, things are great.
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So I take my little bundle of joy.
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Today's my day.
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This is a daddy daycare day, okay, well, it started off great until maybe my wife's taillights hit the end of the driveway and then all hell broke loose and she began to just yell and scream at me, for whatever reason.
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We tried everything in this house, okay.
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We had bouncy seats, teeth and rings, this toy, that toy We've done it all.
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The only piece that I achieved today was three from 17 to 28 minute long naps.
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Okay, that's been the reliever today.
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Well, she woke up around noon and then just proceeded to yell at me for 30, 40 minutes straight.
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Now I know there's some of you out there listening that are like that's nothing, lies, lies.
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The sounds of Satan rang through my ear canal.
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Okay, and yes, I will already admit.
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Five months in, I've already threatened my child with calling her mother, so much so that I videoed her, yes, and said I'm going to show your mother this, I'm going to show your mother what you're doing to me, and I know this is bad radio, but there's some of you out there right now that don't believe me.
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Okay, you said you know what?
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I've seen that beautiful little, innocent little angel of yours, and she doesn't make a peep Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies.
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I'm going to tell you that right now.
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Oh, not good for radio Threat being made.
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Yeah, I'm going to send this to your mother.
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All right, I paused this because right now we have the camera on the phone on turn so baby can see me and her, and she knows at this point my daddy.
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He's taking receipts right now.
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This is evidence.
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This is going to go to my mama and my meemaw so she's contemplating whether she should just pack it up and give in right now, because I bet on her shoes.
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I've been at home giving my mom a whale of a time and heard those words you wait till your father gets home.
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I know, split decision here, princess.
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You got to think what are you gonna do?
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She's thinking Decision's been made.
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The only time she stops is because she's regaining air.
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Oh, I'm telling you, mother, she's gonna call the authorities.
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That's you.
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That's you being angry.
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She's going to call the authorities.
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That's you.
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That's you being angry.
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She's wailing, you're angry.
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Look, you don't even look the same, being that angry.
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Oh God, that's not cool.
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No, no, yeah, that's about enough of that.
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But that's a little snippet, that's a little screenshot right there.
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Hopefully that's not absolutely horrid radio, but that proceeded for like 35, 45 minutes.
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We came to the conclusion we're going for a ride, you're getting in the car, we're leaving.
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We're going to get Meemaw early, put her in the truck, she calms down, has a nice bottle.
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We go for a little Sunday cruise.
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We arrive at Meemaw's work shoot, maybe a half an hour early, and we were.
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My decision was going to be if we arrive at work and she's able to get in the shopping cart and cruise around the shahs, then we'll do that.
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If she's sleeping, we ain't moving.
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So we arrived a half an hour early, she's out, I'm not moving.
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Then my mom proceeds to be a half an hour late getting out of work.
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So we arrived a half an hour early.
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She's out, I'm not moving.
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Then my mom proceeds to be a half an hour late getting out of work.
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So we put some quality time in in the parking lot, but threats were made today.
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Video footage was recorded.
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Today, the best part about this is my mom gets in the car and she's all happy for me, ma right, and we're driving along and my mom says what's up with you?
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You okay Rough day.
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And I said, yeah, real rough day.
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And then I begin to tell her what my day is like and when this happens, all little Paisley's just staring at me like you're going to do this right now.
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You're going to do this in front of me.
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You're going to tell my me, ma, right now, like you're not going to give me the benefit of starting off on a fresh note with my meemaw.
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No, you're not gonna do this.
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I take the phone out and I play for my mother what I just played for you, and that baby looks at me and shoots daggers through my soul like you, asshole, you're gonna, you're going to sail me up the river to my Meemaw.
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She was devastated and she just looked at her Meemaw like he made that up.
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None of this happened.
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And then she pouted the entire way home Like literally my mom's, like is she okay?
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What's wrong with her?
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And I said, oh no, she knows that mistakes were made.
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She knows mistakes were made.
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She knows Mistakes were made, oh my God.
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So I'm trying to regain my composure and I'm trying to Pull up my big daddy pants.
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Okay, big daddy pants, is that a thing?
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I'm going to buckle up Buttercup, because I'm getting ready for a positive episode.
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But for me to reach the decibels and the octaves that it requires to properly transform my energy, to transfer this enthusiasm to you through your headphones, through your radios, I've got to get vocal.
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It hurts my head.
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It hurts my head.
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It hurts my head.
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Oh, I think I earned my daddy badge today.
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I know I got a whole road ahead of me, but I'm like what's the first degree of a karate belt?
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What is it?
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Brown Pink?
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I don't know.
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I earned my brown belt today.
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I got my daddy badge In the world of Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts.
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Don't know, I earned my brown belt today.
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I got my daddy badge In the world of Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts, don't?
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You earn badges for things Merit badges, not to be confused with a participation trophy but you earn something.
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Well, today I earned a daddy badge because I had my ass handed to me by a five-month-old, but I stood my ground.
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Might almost cry a few times, but I-month-old but I stood my ground, might almost cry a few times, but I made it through it and I'm here to talk about it.
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We lived.
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Nobody was harmed in the making of today's episode.
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You understand, we made it.
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Brown belt Earned Gotcha.
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All right, all right, all right.
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You know what, guys?
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Thank you, thank you.
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Thank you for letting me vent, thank you for letting me express myself.
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Okay, we had ourselves a full frontal confessional.
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I feel great, I feel relieved, I feel like we've exercised the demons.
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Whew, honestly, it feels good.
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It feels good to share.
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It feels good to know that it's okay to share.
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It feels good to know that this is the giving tree.
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We've got the circle of vulnerability here, that we've established this little positive vibe, this little positive tribe that we've got going on here.
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Don't forget, if you are a member of this positive tribe and you want to share this positive vibe, because Lord knows, this world needs it.
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Please share the show with someone you know, help it blossom, help it grow.
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Find all things podcast related over to wwwsharetheshrugglepodcastcom, also available on all major platforms.
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I do believe, all right guys you let me share a few things.
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I was vulnerable.
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I was willing to say, hey, I don't know what I'm doing and I'm going to share to you me not knowing what the hell I'm doing.
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An effort to, number one, get it off my chest.
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Number two, I'm sure that I'm going to get some feedback over this and we're going to learn and we're going to grow.
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And that's going to kind of blend into where we're going on today's show Because, as we've already said to open the show, we almost have completed the first month of 2025.
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Now I know we all come into a new year with a new outlook.
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At least, I hope that we do right.
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You come into a new year hoping for new things, new possibilities, and we start dreaming about what can be, what could be and what should be, as long as we are willing to apply and try to attain those goals.
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So some of us will do the.
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I guess you would call it like prototypical or, you know, stereotypical New Year's resolutions.
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I think they've lost steam and people have given up on doing a lot of those.
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But some people still do those.
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And if you don't do a New Year's resolution, maybe you're like me.
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But you set some goals and you use that pre-prescribed flipping of the calendar to set those goals, to cause and effect the new year, to sit back and reflect on the previous year, look at where you've been and where you want to go, and you start to forecast those things right.
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So, whether you have a New Year's resolution, or you put something down in your dream book, or you put something down in your calendar that you're shooting for, or you just set that goal in your mind.
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We talked about finding our guiding words and living our year off of those guiding words, and I talked about courage and sacrifice and how I'm making decisions based off of courage and sacrifice.
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Well, here's the truth, guys.
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At this point in the year, most people, most of the population I forgot the number, it's like over 80% of the population have already given up on those positive commitments they've made, whether they've committed to making a new habit or breaking an old habit, positive steps of action for that promotion.
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They want to apply for a new job, they want to look for a new career, start a new business, become the entrepreneur, lose the weight, get the date, whatever the hell it is.
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Y'all have probably set some goals and I feel, like the majority of the American population, you have given up on those goals, and I don't believe you to be some of those people.
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Or, if we're already losing sight of those goals, let today's episode of the podcast be that cautionary tale that helps you reel those goals back in, to realize the level of priority that we should put on those goals.
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This is our day, you see.
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This is our day to recapture those goals.
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Because here's the thing I've done a lot of things in my life, cold.
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I've done a lot of things blind.
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Just jump in and try to swim.
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Spoiler alert, I can't swim.
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So if you see me jumping into some water that's over my head when I can't stand up and save myself, be very cautious and please be willing to jump in and save it.
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But that's besides the point.
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What I'm trying to say here, folks, is that as we start chasing these dreams or these goals, these habits no matter how big or how small if it's breaking a habit, making a habit, or if it's taking the leap of faith to start the business, to quit the job to chase the dream.
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You understand, whatever that varying degree is, there's some concepts that go hand in hand, no matter how great the challenge might be.
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Now, for me, there's one philosophy that was taught to me that I'm confident was taught to everybody listening today, and that is fake it till you make it, and I think we've all implemented that strategy from time to time.
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Now, if you're a day one listener and you've been listening to share the struggle podcast from day one all the way back in July 2020, you've heard some confessionals from me about leaving a career to chase a dream, leaving something that I felt I was one of the absolute best at, and then diving into a pool literally not knowing how to swim, because I had no ever-loving clue how to design apparel, how to retail apparel, how to design anything.
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I couldn't draw you a stick figure on a napkin, never mind design a shirt that I need to sell and support my family.
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So I took the cold plunge and I jumped into this business because I had a dream of providing an all American made product.
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I wanted to design a brand that captured the American spirit, that represented the American spirit, by only offering American manufactured products.
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That was my goal, but I had no clue how to do it, so I just took a risk and what I did was I took my savings and everything I had and I threw it at some equipment and I tried.
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And that might not have been the best decision, but it was an investment in my education.
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It was, in my opinion.
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As I now sprinkle time and distance on it, it was my education.
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As I now sprinkle time and distance on it, it was my education.
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It was my college degree, you see.
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So speaking college degrees, I mean clearly I don't have one.
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I had to go to night school to learn how to do different designs and learn how to use Adobe, because I didn't have a clue.
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But I had to get out there and fail.
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I had to fail forward, fail my way into having an ever-loving clue about what it is that I'm trying to do.
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Now, one of the key ingredients in this whole method of the madness for me was fake it till you make it.
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Just get out there and do it and I felt wholeheartedly.
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I felt like an absolute fraud.
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I felt like a complete freaking fraud, like I had no clue what I was doing.
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When I came from a business and a profession and a career where I felt like I knew almost everything and I could get into any situation and work my way out of it.
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I now jumped into a situation where I know nothing and I can't work my way into anything but failures.
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I know nothing and I can't work my way into anything but failures.
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In my previous career I could fish out the new me, you understand.
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I could find the noob, I could smell the dude that had no clue what he was doing.
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So as I jumped into this new career and this new profession, I was out there trying to fake my way through it and I could not help but deal with the feeling that everybody around me knew I was a fake ass, mofo.
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That's how I felt.
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And if you've been listening along and you've heard some of these episodes, you've heard me stumble into a little thing called imposter syndrome, where you just start telling yourself you're not authentic, you're not the truth.
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You just start beating yourself up and making yourself convinced that you're the knockoff collection.
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You are a designer, imposter bag and you just don't belong.
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You're not Louis Vuitton, you're Vidal Sasan.
00:19:05.537 --> 00:19:08.818
I don't know, that was a bad one.
00:19:08.818 --> 00:19:13.238
You're not Louis Vuitton, you're Louis Vachon.
00:19:13.238 --> 00:19:13.779
That's better.
00:19:13.779 --> 00:19:15.634
You're not Louis Vuitton, you're Louis Vachon.
00:19:15.634 --> 00:19:15.938
That's better.
00:19:15.938 --> 00:19:16.989
You're not Louis Vuitton, you're Louis Vachon.
00:19:16.989 --> 00:19:21.461
Okay, y'all went to school at one point in your life instead of the Nikes, you had the Mikeys.
00:19:21.461 --> 00:19:24.394
All right, I felt like the Mikeys.
00:19:24.394 --> 00:19:29.844
I felt like the Louis Vachons, that I was the knockoff.
00:19:30.029 --> 00:19:44.693
So when I put myself into a situation where I had to represent myself and my brand and to be confident in who I was and what I was doing, I couldn't do it, because the truth for me is to sell me or to sell what I'm doing, I need to believe in it.
00:19:44.693 --> 00:19:48.061
I didn't believe in my product, I didn't believe in my abilities.
00:19:48.061 --> 00:19:52.538
So the whole notion of fake it till you make it was crushing me.
00:19:52.538 --> 00:19:54.080
I couldn't get over it.
00:19:54.080 --> 00:19:59.334
I spent every day trying to get over the self-doubt that I created.
00:19:59.334 --> 00:20:00.377
From the previous day.
00:20:00.377 --> 00:20:09.896
All the failures were starting to stack up and they were starting to just push me down and I could not get over the fact that I was designer.
00:20:09.896 --> 00:20:13.355
Imposter bag right, I was the fake handbag.
00:20:13.355 --> 00:20:14.474
I was the fake shoes.
00:20:14.474 --> 00:20:16.989
The imposter syndrome right, I was the fake handbag, I was the fake shoes.
00:20:16.989 --> 00:20:17.597
The imposter syndrome was taking over.
