April 16, 2025
Maine's Betrayal of Women; Miss Maine Controversy 249
"Maine continues to cater to transgenders at the expense of women." This powerful statement opens a raw, honest conversation about a growing controversy in Maine's social landscape. Following the state's decisions about transgender policies in women's sports and prisons, attention now turns to the Miss Maine pageant, where the first-ever transgender contestant will compete in the traditionally female competition.
The episode features deeply personal insights from a former Miss Maine contestant who shares her transformative experience competing at age 19. She describes the year-long journey of preparation, fundraising, community service, and personal growth that made the pageant so meaningful. With remarkable detail, she reveals the financial investment required and the sisterhood formed through shared vulnerability backstage.
This controversy touches on fundamental questions about women's spaces and opportunities. The hosts discuss how the intimate nature of these competitions—including communal changing areas and the trust between contestants—creates environments specifically designed for women's empowerment. They question what happens when these spaces change, potentially making contestants uncomfortable or causing some to withdraw altogether.
Drawing connections to other recent incidents where women's rights have been subordinated to transgender inclusion policies, the episode examines how this fits into a larger pattern in Maine and beyond. A surprising revelation comes when the former contestant shares her pageant program featuring Donald Trump (then-owner of Miss Universe) emphasizing opportunities specifically for "young women"—highlighting the stark contrast with current policies.
Whether you're concerned about women's rights, interested in the complexities of gender politics, or simply want to understand the human impact of these policy decisions, this episode offers thoughtful perspectives from those directly affected. Join us for this crucial conversation about balancing inclusion with protecting spaces that have historically empowered women and girls.
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00:00 - Maine's Transgender Policy Controversy
06:43 - Personal Experience with Miss Maine Pageant
18:52 - Transgender Contestant in Miss Maine
29:03 - Pageant Memories and Sisterhood Explained
38:22 - Trump's Connection to Miss Universe
42:57 - Women's Rights and Modern Identity Politics
WEBVTT
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Maine continues to cater to transgenders at the expense of women.
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Last week we talked about female student-athletes and women in prison.
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Today we look into beauty pageants, as Maine celebrates the first transgender to compete in Miss Maine.
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Let me tell you something Everybody struggles.
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The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it.
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The choice is completely yours.
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Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.
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If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you.
00:00:43.732 --> 00:00:49.822
Struggle and this podcast is for you.
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You have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations.
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Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you.
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When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense and it all makes sense.
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Most disagreements, they stem from our own insecurities.
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You are right where you need to be Back on time.
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We can battle this.
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The whole day gone, we'll be fine.
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Do, do, do, do what it do what it hot.
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Do, do, do, do, do, do.
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Good Lord, almighty, am I so excited to be back with you.
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Oh, it's true, girl, you know, it's true Girl.
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You know it's true Girl, you know it's true.
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What boy band did I just hit right there?
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What was that?
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Is that Bobby Brown?
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What was that?
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I think you just made that up.
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No, that's an old 90s jam.
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I think that's like Bobby Brown.
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No way Girl.
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You know, it's true, something like that.
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I guess it's fitting that I'm starting today's show off a little boy band girl tribute right there, because again we are going to be here just talking and promoting and pushing for women's rights in the great state of maine, as maine continues to shed that spotlight on trans genders in maine, which I don't have a problem with whatsoever.
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But it's when it comes at the expense of women in Maine that I have a problem with it.
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Because last week, with a controversial episode Cell Block she where we talked about Maine losing funding for a couple of reasons, one of them being that we've allowed transgenders to compete in women's sports, robbing women of opportunities, robbing young girls of their opportunities, and then we also discussed Maine Department of Corrections losing $1.5 million in funding because we prioritize the safety of a transgender murderer over the safety of fellow female inmates.
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So last week those were the hot topics.
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This week is taking a little bit of a turn, as I'm not the one running the hot mic this week.
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No, no, it's me, because this shit really grinds my gears.
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I knew you were going to go with the gear grinding.
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I just sensed it.
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Burns my toast.
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Burns my toast.
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Chaps my ass.
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Alright, she's a real ass chap, this one, Not to be confused with assless chaps, which is encouraged and can provide safety in motorcycles.
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I wear assless chaps, which is encouraged, and can provide safety in motorcycles.
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I wear assless chaps.
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We should wear them while you're making eggs.
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You know what I mean.
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You also want me to make coffee with no shirt on.
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Hey America.
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I didn't know you wanted flapjacks with your breakfast.
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I am literally, I'm going to push you around.
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I'll tell you what.
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With my assless chaps.
00:04:04.748 --> 00:04:11.586
Good Lord, this episode of the podcast has literally come undone and we have not even hit like minute two.
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This is what happens.
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This is our relationship.
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Live in the flesh Mic on.
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We probably shouldn't have had the microphone on for this portion of it Before I let you get all hot and bothered and under the collar here You'll probably just cut it out anyway.
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What's that I was talking?
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What did you just say?
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I said, you'll probably just cut it out anyway.
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No, I probably won't.
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It's getting way too late for me to go back and edit now.
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While you were trying to get little Miss Paisley ready for a nap or some nighttime sweepy sweepies, which didn't go according to plan because currently the three of us are recording on the couch.
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We're spread out strategically.
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You're in one area on the old L-shaped couch, I'm on the other, and then in the center of the triangle is little Paisley with her little party banana.
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Look at you.
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She's brushing her teeth.
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Brushing her two teeth with a banana Not an actual banana, but like a chew toy one.
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It's not a chew toy, it's a teether.
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It's the same difference, really Right, it's a chew toy.
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She's not a dog?
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Well, she's teething and puppies do the same thing.
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So we're going to see how this goes.
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But while you were getting her ready because she was supposed to be sleeping, which she's clearly not I was actually getting ready for the podcast and I had Fox News on and this kind of goes hand-in-hand with what we're about to talk about.
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But this kind of adds a little bit to last week's episode.
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I don't know if you heard it, but they had two dads on the news tonight.
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I don't know what state it was in, but their daughters are soccer players in high school and they had to compete against a transgender athlete.
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And to support their daughters and to protest the fact that they didn't believe it was correct and they didn't believe it was safe, they had these pink wristbands made with two X's on the wristbands, and the parents were wearing them while sitting in lawn chairs on the sidelines.
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They're not out there openly protesting with microphones, megaphones, yelling, hooting, hollering, anything like that.
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They're literally just showing support for their daughters.
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They don't think it's right.
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And they're on the sidelines and a member of the school board went over to them and said take them off or leave.
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And they were like this is my first amendment right, it's free speech.
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I'm not going anywhere.
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They called the cops on them.
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No, they didn't.
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Yes, they called the cops on them.
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The cops went over and argued with them and then said this is private property, they don't want you here.
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You got to go.
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Then, um, it turns into a court case cause they're claiming this is my first amendment right.
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And a federal judge told these two dads when you're at a school, you don't have any rights.
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When you're at a private property for a school, you don't have first amendment rights.
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And they are banned from the location, like they're not allowed to go to watch their kids.
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What Now?
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What's ridiculous about this is, I'm confident if there was somebody on the other sidelines, on the other team, with a bunch of signs going off about pro trans athletes, they would not have been asked to remove their signs.
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That's what I have a problem with.
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And number two these dads were just on the news saying this is about safety.
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It's about safety.
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And Laura Ingram was like why do you allow your daughters to compete?
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And their whole standpoint on this was my daughter's been competing since she was, or started playing soccer when she was three Right, and she's in high school, and I don't want to take this from her.
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One dad was like she's competed for 13 years.
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She's now the captain of her team.
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This team has a chance to go to a.
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They're going to the playoffs and the like school board or the athletic board told them if you protest this game against this transgender boy, if you protest this game, we are going to bar you from the playoffs.
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So they had to allow their daughters to compete against a boy.
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Risk safety or they were going to risk the opportunity that they've worked 13, 14 years of their life for.
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One of the little girls was a captain.
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Can you imagine losing out on the one thing you've been working for with all your friends forever?
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It's ridiculous and that's what this comes down to.
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There's countless cases of head trauma with females in these different sports volleyball, basketball, all these different things and we're setting a precedence that this is okay and I'm just tired of it.
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I'm absolutely tired of it.
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I didn't want to have this conversation yet again this week, but this afternoon, as I was thinking of topics to record on today, you sent me a news article and then, literally before, like we were on the same page because I was typing to you you should talk about it and you were typing to me oh, I'm talking about this.
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I'm pissed.
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Yeah, I'm going to let you take it from here, because I'll just slide in from time to time, but this is just something that you discovered today and it bothered you deeply because it brings back something that you cherished and appreciated and worked for as a kid.
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I wrote some notes down because I'm like I need to stay on topic because I'm not going to pull you.
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Wow, shots fired, that's nice.
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Down because I'm like I need to stay on topic because I'm not gonna pull you.
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Wow, shots fired, that's that's nice so before we got started, I literally ran downstairs to the garage, to my office supplies, and pulled out a three ring binder, mind you, okay, my hand.
00:10:00.573 --> 00:10:03.509
People can hear it because every time you move over there they can hear your binder my hand on the.
00:10:03.548 --> 00:10:06.500
The people can hear it because every time you move over there they can hear your binder my hand on the three-ring binder.
00:10:06.500 --> 00:10:12.029
Okay, this binder was created back in 2012.
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Throwback.
00:10:13.592 --> 00:10:21.090
Yeah, and the entire thing is just how I left it, and let's just get into this binder here for a quick second.
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In 2012, I competed in this exact same pageant.
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I was 19 years old, I was actually doing a few modeling gigs and I was actually approached by Ashley Underwood, which some people may know from Maine as one of the contestants on Survivor.
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I was actually at an event that she was at and she was telling me all about Miss Maine and how empowering it is for women and how much of a great organization it is.
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I had the opportunity to meet with Mackenzie Small, who was one of the coordinators for the pageants in Maine, and I had a sit down interview with her and she also was like yeah, I think you really should do this.
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I had them send me over the contract and I started looking over it.
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Honestly, like at that moment in time, I'm 19 years old and I'm like I don't know how I'm going to pay for this.
00:11:24.962 --> 00:11:27.527
I have my contract right here from 2012.
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It was $895.
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And that was just my sponsorship.
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I had to fundraise, I had to do all different kinds of things, but during this process leading up to November 19, at the Westbrook Performing Arts Center, you can say all this because she legitimately has the binder with.
00:11:50.869 --> 00:11:53.663
On the outside of the binder is the tickets and everything.
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And before you get going on that, I just want to put an emphasis on this for people to realize that my wife's held on to this notebook for 13 years.
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For whatever reason, here I am in my book well, I can tell you the reason was because it was important to you yeah, it was very, you worked hard for this, and it's something that you're Very proud of, right One day.
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I want Miss Paisley to be able to look at this and be like, wow, my mom did this, this is really cool, this is awesome, and it's a year-long process.
00:12:23.519 --> 00:12:35.023
From the moment that you accept your title, which mine was Miss Arundel, it's a year-long process for you to campaign fundraise.
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During this time, you're also required to do check-ins, which is a way to check in.
00:12:42.389 --> 00:12:44.253
It's a way oh wow, um.
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And they go over, um, your calorie count, they go over your food intake.
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They basically teach you how to eat, breathe and sleep pageant life.
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We had a personal trainer, a buddy, by John.
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He was a really good dude actually.
00:13:04.293 --> 00:13:05.739
I know John, he was a great guy.
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You know what I mean.
00:13:06.870 --> 00:13:07.754
He's a loud, proud American.
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He buys our stuff.
00:13:08.437 --> 00:13:13.922
Yeah, I love that Another opportunity, that we another.
00:13:13.922 --> 00:13:15.466
What were you saying earlier?
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Something about it's kind of like two ships crossing in the night.
00:13:18.051 --> 00:13:23.196
We always talk about how our paths have crossed many times.
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We never really connected because, we weren't ready to be connected.
00:13:27.120 --> 00:13:32.044
Your book, actually, that you were showing me.
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I recognize the cover.
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Ashley.
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Because the cover was a friend of mine, ashley Marble, who was Miss Maine.
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I met her when I was working at the dealership.
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She used to come do some events with us and hang out and kind of party with us and stuff, and she actually was the reigning Miss Maine who handed out the crown, yep.
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So it's kind of crazy because at the time that you were competing and she was the crown winner, the current winner, the current miss maine um, she was hanging out with the dealership from time to time and you know.
00:14:04.076 --> 00:14:12.251
So another opportunity where we could have actually crossed paths, which is kind of kind of crazy, you know, because she brought other people that were competing with her stuff too.
00:14:12.272 --> 00:14:14.115
so, very well, could have been you at that time, you know.
00:14:15.496 --> 00:14:21.666
Yeah, so Ashley was actually giving her crown away when we competed.
00:14:21.666 --> 00:14:36.063
And then there was Ashley Underwood, who was the girl that introduced me to Miss Maine.
00:14:36.083 --> 00:14:41.615
Uh introduced survivor you said, yeah, introduced me to miss Maine, um, so it was actually double time.
00:14:41.615 --> 00:14:44.121
That were basically like running the show.
00:14:44.121 --> 00:14:53.018
So Ashley Underwood was actually, um, like the MC for the entire event, so it was like really cool to be able to see her up there.
00:14:53.018 --> 00:15:01.984
Um, but over the year of leading up to this event was so empowering.
00:15:01.984 --> 00:15:04.397
Here I am 19 years old.
00:15:04.397 --> 00:15:06.197
I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
00:15:06.269 --> 00:15:33.475
I don't know what I want to do but I was living on your own living on my own for a few years at that point, two years on my own, and that was another reason why how I didn't know how I was going to come up with the money, because I knew rent was due, cell phone bills were due, this, that and the third, and I needed to come up with 895 dollars just to be welcomed into competing.
00:15:33.475 --> 00:15:36.660
That doesn't include my outfit.
00:15:36.660 --> 00:15:45.178
I need a pageant gown, I need a swimsuit, I need an interview outfit.
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I need to pay for hair and makeup.
00:15:47.870 --> 00:15:50.840
I literally have my entire docket here.
00:15:50.840 --> 00:15:54.100
I also have to pay a $150 registration fee.
00:15:54.100 --> 00:16:00.605
That does not even go towards my $895 dollars.
00:16:00.605 --> 00:16:02.649
So, like, this is already a thousand dollars.
00:16:02.951 --> 00:16:11.980
like, and I haven't even probably 1500 bucks or two grand by the time you figure out expenses going places and traveling that was back in 2011, 2012.
00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:17.533
Like I couldn't even imagine how much it is now, um, but yeah, like that that's the thing.
00:16:17.533 --> 00:16:31.221
And then you know, it's also like thankfully, I had the opportunity for a bunch of these modeling gigs before this, so I already had headshots, because that would have been another cost not factored in.
00:16:31.221 --> 00:16:41.229
Like there's so many things that you have to do leading up to this event that you have to do leading up to this event.
00:16:41.229 --> 00:16:42.597
You also have to show your presence.
00:16:42.597 --> 00:16:45.616
Like I am Mr Rundle, so you have to do things in the community.
00:16:46.072 --> 00:17:06.619
Stay active in the community, you have to stay active, so this is encouraging you to get out and fundraise right, you're having to, you know, basically build these different skills Because you're forced into the community Number one to go out and ask for sponsorships to fundraise, to sell yourself, to sell the organization, to sell the event and the opportunity.
00:17:06.619 --> 00:17:18.279
These are all core values and beliefs that you're building at this time and you know you're also forced into community service out there in the community giving back, doing positive things.
00:17:18.970 --> 00:17:28.742
So I really think that what people don't realize about some of these beauty pageant things, it's not just about how good somebody looks and oh wow, she's beautiful, so she can compete in this.
00:17:28.742 --> 00:17:53.839
It's no, you're actually learning a lot of things and you're building character and you're building values and establishing beliefs, because you're having to do a lot of things for the first time and you're also getting yourself out of your comfort zone and for many people that could be the first time that you really put yourself out there, out of your comfort zone, and ask for sponsorships, ask for money and volunteer and do all those type of things.
00:17:53.839 --> 00:17:58.201
So I think it's a real big character building thing when you dig into all that goes into it.
00:17:58.221 --> 00:18:00.210
So I think it's a real big character building thing when you dig into all that goes into it.
00:18:00.210 --> 00:18:01.612
I did a couple of different things I know.
00:18:01.612 --> 00:18:12.230
One of them was helping out at the local animal shelter here in Pennybunk and that was like just walking dogs and stuff and it was just like, yes, I went and walked dogs with my sash on, like it's.
00:18:12.230 --> 00:18:14.278
You just did those sort of things.
00:18:14.278 --> 00:18:22.515
But I also helped raise money for Special Olympics because that holds a really soft spot in my heart.
00:18:22.515 --> 00:18:45.049
So you know, it's not just one fundraiser, it's like making awareness of people choose it Because, as you're mentioning, that that's the charity that I worked with with Ashley was Special Olympics.
00:18:45.691 --> 00:18:51.864
No, you have the ability to choose whoever and whatever fundraiser you want it to go to.
00:18:51.864 --> 00:18:56.080
Ashley and I, I can recall, connected on that very much.
00:18:56.569 --> 00:19:01.380
That makes sense because that's the charity and the events that we worked together on was for special Olympics.
00:19:01.480 --> 00:19:02.821
Yep, yep, absolutely.
00:19:02.821 --> 00:19:06.101
Um, I do recall us having conversations about that specifically.
00:19:06.101 --> 00:19:15.003
Um, and the fact that I actually got to attend a special, a special Olympics um horseback riding event which was really cool.
00:19:15.003 --> 00:19:26.913
Yeah, cause my grandma, my mom, used to bring um our horses and our children um from the um from the group that don't realize, like your grandmother, the one you consider, that raised you she.
00:19:27.516 --> 00:19:28.799
She was a foster for the state.
00:19:28.799 --> 00:19:38.896
She took care of a lot of kids, uh, and a lot of kids with with needs, special needs, um, and to come full circle, it's something that I know that you said in the beginning here.
00:19:38.896 --> 00:19:43.457
That has really nothing to do with the topic for today, but you competed.
00:19:43.457 --> 00:19:47.799
The final contest was on November 19th.
00:19:47.941 --> 00:19:48.241
Yeah.
00:19:49.352 --> 00:19:52.509
Which you didn't realize until just a few minutes ago when you opened your binder.
00:19:52.509 --> 00:20:03.093
And for the people that don't know that haven't been listening since day one but, um, you lost your your mom, aka grandmother, on november 19th.
00:20:03.093 --> 00:20:06.740
Yeah, and I lost my father on november 19th.
00:20:06.740 --> 00:20:13.575
So, uh, kind of crazy how these 1119s continue to uh, to add up for us.
00:20:13.575 --> 00:20:32.442
But we've kind of talked a little bit about just how much this pageant meant to you as a kid, how much you feel like it really instilled some good values in you, challenged you, got you out of your comfort zone, helped build some character.
00:20:32.442 --> 00:20:38.837
So we have all these positives that came from you competing in this pageant.
00:20:38.837 --> 00:20:54.114
I want to go from there and transition to how did we end up talking about this today and what happened today that got you all fired up, that led into this podcast tonight.
00:20:55.055 --> 00:21:03.325
I was on my lunch break and I was just like perusing around the social media just looking for a dose of dopamine.
00:21:03.345 --> 00:21:07.240
Oh, wow, look at you just reusing the content.
00:21:09.511 --> 00:21:13.855
I am a day one listener, so I appreciate that I acknowledge you.
00:21:13.855 --> 00:21:15.654
Oh, good one.
00:21:15.869 --> 00:21:16.894
Happy WrestleMania week.
00:21:17.650 --> 00:21:24.031
Oh, for the love of God oh, good, one happy wrestlemania week, oh, for the love of god anyway.
00:21:24.031 --> 00:21:45.896
So I was just perusing around and I happened to come across a family friend who had posted an article from main news talking about um, the first ever transgender competing in miss main pageant, and this was like the headline and I was like pump the brake, sister.
00:21:45.896 --> 00:21:47.961
Like this is this is not true.
00:21:47.961 --> 00:21:53.069
So of course, curiosity killed the cat.
00:21:53.191 --> 00:21:56.553
And here I am that was me killing the cat.
00:21:57.614 --> 00:21:58.654
Being a nosy neighbor.
00:21:58.654 --> 00:22:01.238
Okay, click on the article and start reading it.
00:22:01.238 --> 00:22:09.545
And I am like reading this article, I do not even get halfway through it before, I just like stop what I am doing and immediately send it to you.
00:22:09.545 --> 00:22:12.027
I'm like, no, this is a hard no.
00:22:14.349 --> 00:22:14.751
This is a hard no.
00:22:14.751 --> 00:22:15.714
I can tell via the text.
00:22:15.714 --> 00:22:16.858
You were heated.
00:22:19.570 --> 00:22:22.099
I'm aggravated.
00:22:22.099 --> 00:22:26.939
I'm so many emotions.
00:22:26.939 --> 00:22:44.422
To be honest, I think the biggest thing is that I know what I poured into this competition myself, and this was so many years ago, and it is blood, sweat and tears to the finest.
00:22:44.422 --> 00:23:04.435
We talked about it earlier, about some of the things that you have to do, and it's like sponsorships, seminars, dress rehearsals, meeting with coaches to teach you how to walk, speak, talk, stand all that kind of stuff, photo shoots, campaigns, and let's just not even stop there.
00:23:04.435 --> 00:23:17.077
When it comes to your fitness and also what you eat, I just found a pamphlet that said that I could only eat 15 grams of sugar a day Like this was serious business.
00:23:17.077 --> 00:23:23.671
A day Like this was serious business.
00:23:23.671 --> 00:23:37.378
So for me to read this article and see that a transgender is going to compete in the competition, it hurts me for those girls, because this is just one more thing that is being taken away from women, and we've talked about it a hundred times.
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