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Feb. 12, 2025

Navigating Relationships and Modern Dating 240

Navigating Relationships and Modern Dating 240

This episode explores the complexities of love and relationships, emphasizing the importance of honest communication and vulnerability. By addressing uncomfortable truths and offering insights into both romantic connections and self-love, we remind listeners that genuine relationships require effort and authenticity. 

• Importance of uncomfortable conversations in relationships 
• Valentine's Day as an opportunity to nurture connections 
• Personal anecdotes reflecting on relationship struggles and growth 
• Research on future dating trends focusing on community connections 
• The shift from superficial connections to emotional intelligence and vulnerability 
• Encouragement for singles to engage with community activities, moving beyond dating apps 
• The role of trust and transparency in building stronger relationships

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Chapters

00:02 - Celebrating Love and Relationships

15:14 - Tractor Mishap and Hydraulic Repair

23:17 - Embracing Uncomfortable Conversations

37:15 - Relationship Lessons and Lovers' Insights

45:41 - Dating Trends in 2025

54:30 - Purposeful Dating Connections

01:08:22 - American Dream and Filthy Hands

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:02.063 --> 00:00:07.972
On the eve of Lovers' Day, we take the time to slow down and celebrate L-O-V-E love.

00:00:07.972 --> 00:00:13.090
What does it take to have a healthy, honest relationship?

00:00:13.090 --> 00:00:18.893
And to all the single Pringles out there, this episode is also for you.

00:00:18.893 --> 00:00:29.144
It's time to put down the boom boom apps as we reveal the super secret hiding spot for all singles to find a meaningful connection.

00:00:29.144 --> 00:00:35.723
But before all the sappy stuff, I'm going to start with some personal, unhappy stuff.

00:00:35.723 --> 00:00:36.905
But I have no fear.

00:00:36.905 --> 00:00:38.348
At least it'll be funny.

00:00:38.348 --> 00:00:42.040
Well, for you Not so much for me.

00:00:42.040 --> 00:00:44.624
I don't find it funny at all.

00:00:44.624 --> 00:00:45.886
Let me tell you something.

00:00:46.646 --> 00:00:47.548
Everybody struggles.

00:00:47.548 --> 00:00:53.595
The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it.

00:00:53.595 --> 00:00:56.662
The choice is completely yours.

00:00:56.662 --> 00:01:01.412
Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.

00:01:01.412 --> 00:01:09.109
If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you.

00:01:11.302 --> 00:01:16.028
If you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations.

00:01:16.028 --> 00:01:21.746
Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you.

00:01:21.746 --> 00:01:26.745
When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense.

00:01:26.745 --> 00:01:31.911
Most disagreements, they stem from our own insecurities.

00:01:31.911 --> 00:01:44.856
You are right where you need to be and that's what it takes.

00:01:44.856 --> 00:01:49.899
I'll take on what it takes To move fast.

00:01:49.899 --> 00:01:53.787
What it did, what it hot.

00:01:53.787 --> 00:02:02.709
Good Lord Almighty, am I so excited To be back with you?

00:02:02.709 --> 00:02:11.332
Oh, it's true, it's damn true, mm do you do?

00:02:11.332 --> 00:02:17.649
Baby boo, I truly hope that the sun is shining on you.

00:02:17.649 --> 00:02:22.764
I truly hope that you were counting blessings and you were feeling all kinds of special.

00:02:22.764 --> 00:02:39.108
If you're listening to this episode of the podcast on the day that it drops a truly fabulous, winning Wednesday then you are receiving this good gospel on the eve of Valentine's Day, the Lover's Day.

00:02:39.721 --> 00:03:01.275
Well, I do believe at some point in time, maybe Hallmark and Walmart and Target and any other store took advantage of all of us with this pre-prescribed holiday, and it's another good opportunity to dig into your wallets and your pocketbooks, your purses, whatever.

00:03:01.275 --> 00:03:03.366
People don't even do that anymore.

00:03:03.366 --> 00:03:05.125
Everybody just be tapping and paying.

00:03:05.125 --> 00:03:05.586
You know what I mean.

00:03:05.586 --> 00:03:05.948
Here's my plastic.

00:03:05.948 --> 00:03:06.429
Here's my watch, bloop.

00:03:06.429 --> 00:03:06.650
Here's my.

00:03:06.650 --> 00:03:07.070
Even do that anymore.

00:03:07.070 --> 00:03:07.894
Everybody just be tapping and paying.

00:03:07.894 --> 00:03:08.355
You know what I mean.

00:03:08.355 --> 00:03:08.717
Here's my plastic.

00:03:08.717 --> 00:03:09.237
Here's my watch, bloop.

00:03:09.237 --> 00:03:09.680
Here's my phone, bloop.

00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:12.127
Just pay, pay, pay, what up?

00:03:12.639 --> 00:03:14.465
That was weird and uncomfortable.

00:03:14.465 --> 00:03:15.366
Did I make you uncomfortable?

00:03:15.366 --> 00:03:17.412
I apologize, we're not off to a good start.

00:03:17.412 --> 00:03:24.131
I'm already making you uncomfortable, but the point I'm trying to make here is some of these holidays have been depressed upon us.

00:03:24.131 --> 00:03:39.866
They've been forced on us and they, unless you want to provoke a fight, encourage you to spend money to shower the ones you love with love or make you feel anxious and depressed that you're single and alone.

00:03:39.866 --> 00:03:53.509
So I'm not real confident in the benefits when it comes to being forced to do something and being forced to realize you're isolated and you're single.

00:03:53.509 --> 00:03:57.703
You're out there on an island, you're never going to make it, you're Wilson, lost at sea.

00:03:58.463 --> 00:04:16.514
But if you push all those things aside, it is confessional, a good opportunity to stop and slow down and celebrate the ones you love, if you don't get lost in the big box store scenario that comes with love.

00:04:16.514 --> 00:04:22.617
On Lover's Day said Valentine's Day, the pre-prescribed you got to buy this.

00:04:22.617 --> 00:04:25.687
I forgot what the average spend is these days for Valentine's Day, but, pre-prescribed you got to buy this.

00:04:25.687 --> 00:04:28.302
I forgot what the average spend is these days for Valentine's Day, but I'm pretty confident.

00:04:28.302 --> 00:04:29.427
It's over a hundred dollars.

00:04:29.427 --> 00:04:39.334
With the cost of everything else, with the cost of eggs and gas and all those crazy things going on in the world, most people don't have an extra a hundred 200 bucks to drop on Valentine's Day.

00:04:39.334 --> 00:04:46.922
So it's going to pressure you into feeling bad, or you're going to dig into the savings and you're going to make something happen, those things there.

00:04:46.922 --> 00:04:52.814
If we get on the other side of that, we just push that part of the onion aside.

00:04:54.422 --> 00:05:06.033
It's a great opportunity to slow down and tell the ones you love that you love them, to appreciate them, to count your blessings, to be thankful and to show them just how thankful you are.

00:05:06.033 --> 00:05:08.860
That should be the true meaning of Valentine's Day.

00:05:08.860 --> 00:05:15.425
And if you're in a real, honest, healthy relationship, then that is the true meaning of Valentine's Day.

00:05:15.425 --> 00:05:15.927
Okay.

00:05:15.927 --> 00:05:18.930
And if you're single and you're depressed, guess what?

00:05:18.930 --> 00:05:26.514
The day after Valentine's Day you're going to score some super sweet deals on depression chocolate.

00:05:26.514 --> 00:05:34.704
Okay, hey, I love a good deal on some peanut butter and chocolate If I can get me some of those Valentine's peanut butter and chocolate.

00:05:34.704 --> 00:05:36.728
Reese's hearts on discount.

00:05:36.728 --> 00:05:40.360
Boy do I love me a bargain.

00:05:40.360 --> 00:05:42.625
There's a benefit right there, y'all.

00:05:42.625 --> 00:05:43.968
There's a benefit.

00:05:43.968 --> 00:05:44.810
I love it.

00:05:53.420 --> 00:05:54.141
But let's put all that stuff aside.

00:05:54.141 --> 00:06:04.206
That's what's to come later on in today's episode of the podcast, because later on I am going to be joined by my lovely, beautiful, blushing bride, the one by my side.

00:06:04.206 --> 00:06:12.250
My beautiful wife will be joining me later on in today's show, but she doesn't know that right now.

00:06:12.250 --> 00:06:19.672
So currently I'm recording this on my own and I'm just putting the pressure on right now that she's going to be joining us.

00:06:19.672 --> 00:06:28.745
She doesn't know it yet, okay, but on the eve of Valentine's Day day, she wouldn't want to let me and all you down and not show up.

00:06:28.745 --> 00:06:39.733
So we're gonna sprinkle a little pressure on her plate and I'm gonna beg for forgiveness if I have to, because it's easier than asking for permission.

00:06:39.733 --> 00:06:42.163
So I'm gonna put it out there right now.

00:06:42.163 --> 00:06:56.173
We we're going to etch it in stone that my wife will be joining me in the second portion of the show, because a lover's episode without the one that I love just don't make no sense.

00:06:56.173 --> 00:06:58.648
It's not sense-a-cool America.

00:07:00.860 --> 00:07:08.271
But before we get into all the mushy, ushy, gushy good stuff, I have a full frontal confessional with you.

00:07:08.271 --> 00:07:15.593
That has got me pretty dang near pissed off.

00:07:15.593 --> 00:07:23.771
Okay, little Bucky, I was just channeling my inner southern grandpa right there with that.

00:07:23.771 --> 00:07:43.867
I don't know what happened, but I'm going to grab my Cabela's catalog, I'm going to place my left hand on the catalog and I'm going to direct these beady little eyes to the sky as I raise my right hand and I repeat before you the truth, a full frontal confessional, the truth from this guy.

00:07:43.867 --> 00:07:44.713
I'm pretty embarrassed.

00:07:44.713 --> 00:07:45.540
I'm pretty embarrassed.

00:07:45.540 --> 00:07:47.706
I'm pretty ticked off.

00:07:47.706 --> 00:07:56.591
I don't find it amusing One bit, but I'm pretty confident y'all are going to find this shit funny.

00:07:57.240 --> 00:08:01.132
Here's a little screenshot into the life and times of moi.

00:08:01.132 --> 00:08:12.345
Here's a little preview, a little peeling of the onion, if you will, as to my life and my luck and how they both often suck.

00:08:12.345 --> 00:08:13.586
God.

00:08:13.586 --> 00:08:18.675
Here's the deal, as previously recorded multiple times.

00:08:18.675 --> 00:08:21.983
Here we are in the middle of Snowmageddon.

00:08:21.983 --> 00:08:29.115
Okay, every 24 to 48 hours we're going to get dumped on with that white gold.

00:08:29.495 --> 00:08:34.644
Okay, I used to call it white gold back in the day when I was selling snowmobiles, because that's how you sold snowmobiles.

00:08:34.644 --> 00:08:35.668
Is it needed to be snowing?

00:08:35.668 --> 00:08:45.879
And for the people out there that you know are having plow contracts and they're, you know, getting all that overtime and all those extra side gigs and jobs?

00:08:45.879 --> 00:09:02.110
Or to my brother from another mother out there, mr DCF Darren Clark Finnegan, who's a proud owner of Lost Valley Brewing Company that just happens to be located on a freaking ski mountain when the snow falls, that's white gold.

00:09:02.110 --> 00:09:08.240
Snow falls, that's white gold.

00:09:08.240 --> 00:09:16.260
But to those of us trying to work from home and raise a newborn and avoid spending four and five hours a day on the tractor, it's no longer white gold, it's the white curse.

00:09:16.562 --> 00:09:23.764
Right now, I mean, I don't hate it, I'm a Mainer, it is what it is, but it takes a lot of time, and you heard me rant and rave about this already.

00:09:23.764 --> 00:09:24.225
I don't need to.

00:09:24.225 --> 00:09:26.428
I don't need to keep going down this path here.

00:09:26.428 --> 00:09:27.270
I'm just trying to tell you.

00:09:27.270 --> 00:09:30.280
It's contained here, all right.

00:09:31.042 --> 00:09:37.714
So here's the thing Saturday I have to go out and get some sawdust for the horse.

00:09:37.714 --> 00:09:49.355
The wife made this connection with a fella a couple of towns away that owns a woodworking shop and he's trading us some sawdust just for getting it out of his way.

00:09:49.355 --> 00:09:52.590
So we have this schedule now of showing up to get sawdust.

00:09:52.590 --> 00:09:54.407
This was our first time going.

00:09:54.407 --> 00:09:58.306
We didn't know how large the bins were going to be, so we had to bring the old farm truck.

00:09:58.306 --> 00:10:14.168
The four of us loaded up an old red, the old farm truck, and we're heading out to get sawdust on a Saturday and we're going to get ourselves some coffee and I'm going to go to work and the three of them are going to go on their merry way doing whatever it is they wish to do today.

00:10:14.750 --> 00:10:23.730
Now, on the way to said woodworking shop, some lady in front of me decides to throw the brakes on long before throwing said blinker on.

00:10:23.730 --> 00:10:32.149
Okay, I ram-jam-cram the brakes to the floor here and as I do, I realize we ain't stopping.

00:10:32.149 --> 00:10:35.278
No, we are not stopping, we're slowing.

00:10:35.278 --> 00:10:37.061
We're gradually slowing.

00:10:37.061 --> 00:10:40.667
We are decreasing speeds, but not at a rapid rate.

00:10:40.667 --> 00:10:43.390
Okay, we are not stopping fast enough.

00:10:43.390 --> 00:10:48.783
I cut the wheel to yard it to go out around said left-hand lady here.

00:10:48.783 --> 00:10:52.472
Thankfully she turned as I'm going around, tragedy avoided.

00:10:52.472 --> 00:10:56.706
But I quickly realized we don't have any brakes.

00:10:56.706 --> 00:11:03.125
No brakes, bobby, we ain't got no brakes, which it's happened many times before.

00:11:03.125 --> 00:11:04.568
Right, this is an old girl of a truck.

00:11:04.568 --> 00:11:09.647
Okay, actually, last time we lost brakes, the wife had a camper attached to it.

00:11:09.647 --> 00:11:10.908
Thankfully we were close to home.

00:11:11.350 --> 00:11:23.283
So we are proceeding to, uh, this wood shop here and I'm leaving a mile in between me and the next vehicle and hoping nobody just tries to come out in front of me.

00:11:23.283 --> 00:11:30.735
And it's one of those things where I'm just pushing it all the way to the floor and we are slowly grabbing some brakes.

00:11:30.735 --> 00:11:34.147
So maybe the front brakes were slowly catching on a little bit.

00:11:34.147 --> 00:11:46.267
And I make the announcement listen, hold on, because if something happens in an emergency I'm probably going to have to throw this sumbitch in park and we're probably going to lose the rear end out of this old girl.

00:11:46.267 --> 00:11:51.823
But we get to the sawmill, get the wood sawdust, whatever, load it all up.

00:11:51.823 --> 00:11:53.450
We're heading home.

00:11:53.450 --> 00:11:57.503
We're kind of trying to bebop our way around traffic to get home without breaks.

00:11:57.503 --> 00:11:58.225
We get home.

00:11:58.946 --> 00:12:03.095
I parked the truck and I say, screw it, I'm not even going to look at it.

00:12:03.095 --> 00:12:04.798
I don't have the patience nor the time.

00:12:04.798 --> 00:12:07.885
I got all these projects to do, work stacking up.

00:12:07.885 --> 00:12:09.048
I got to get to the office.

00:12:09.048 --> 00:12:10.852
They head off to get coffee.

00:12:10.852 --> 00:12:14.188
We had to take that off the script because I just got no damn breaks right.

00:12:14.188 --> 00:12:19.182
So here we go, blew the brakes out of the truck again, park it, leave it, set it and forget it.

00:12:19.182 --> 00:12:25.563
Okay, Next day, super Bowl Sunday we're getting pounded with snow, starts snowing overnight.

00:12:26.104 --> 00:12:30.846
You wake up on Sunday morning to, I'm going to say, 10, 12 inches of snow.

00:12:30.846 --> 00:12:35.447
We've got a nice dumping of the white gold.

00:12:35.447 --> 00:12:41.431
Okay, well, got to get out there with the tractor and start making some things happen.

00:12:41.431 --> 00:12:43.552
So I'm cranking down the driveway.

00:12:43.552 --> 00:12:45.393
Everything is going nice and smooth.

00:12:45.393 --> 00:12:46.972
Get things cranked out.

00:12:46.972 --> 00:12:49.774
I'm feeling real good about how well things are going.

00:12:50.654 --> 00:12:59.217
I only have right in front of the garage and the house to do and I like to do a couple of passes up our little farm road on the way to the horse barn.

00:12:59.217 --> 00:13:05.202
This makes it easier to get hay in and out and grain in and out, whatever.

00:13:05.202 --> 00:13:11.695
So while I'm doing that I'm kind of pushing some snow banks back and I'm backing up and I fall off of the road.

00:13:11.695 --> 00:13:18.456
So the road kind of dips off, but the snow banks and everything are so high you really can't tell where you are.

00:13:18.456 --> 00:13:24.220
So as I'm backing up, I just slowly slip off the road and typically I can get out of this scenario.

00:13:24.220 --> 00:13:27.784
So I'm taking the bucket and I'm trying to work myself out.

00:13:27.784 --> 00:13:28.807
I can't seem to do it.

00:13:28.807 --> 00:13:38.582
I'm using the backhoe in the back to try to prop myself up and it seems like I'm kind of at an angle here or I'm just going to end up rolling this son of a bitch.

00:13:38.582 --> 00:13:46.022
So before I make it worse and I get my wife to come out yelling at me that I made it worse and I should have stopped way sooner.

00:13:46.022 --> 00:13:49.568
I decide, hey, let's stop way sooner.

00:13:49.568 --> 00:13:54.926
So I jump off the tractor, message the wife hey, can you come out and give me a hand and pull me out?

00:13:55.548 --> 00:13:57.172
Now here's the situation at hand.

00:13:57.172 --> 00:14:04.687
I've only made one pass down this road 12 inches of snow Vehicles currently on the premises.

00:14:04.687 --> 00:14:06.249
Road, 12 inches of snow Vehicles currently on the premises.

00:14:06.249 --> 00:14:08.211
School bus ain't even going to fit, don't even think about it.

00:14:08.211 --> 00:14:12.576
Dodge Challenger in the garage Don't even think about it.

00:14:12.576 --> 00:14:20.061
Wifey's Kia Sorento.

00:14:20.081 --> 00:14:22.384
I do not want to be responsible for ripping the back of my wife's car off of my tractor.

00:14:22.384 --> 00:14:22.846
Not going to happen.

00:14:22.846 --> 00:14:28.495
My dad's old pickup truck long bed, v6, two wheel drive.

00:14:28.495 --> 00:14:33.770
I'm thinking I don't want to have two vehicles stuck in the same spot.

00:14:33.770 --> 00:14:34.852
Not going to happen.

00:14:34.852 --> 00:14:36.442
We'll have to take all red.

00:14:36.442 --> 00:14:38.706
I know she ain't got brakes.

00:14:39.248 --> 00:14:48.309
Here's a scenario I can't pull from the side because I'm going to end up rolling the tractor, so I have to get out in front of it and back up to it.

00:14:48.309 --> 00:15:02.307
Now I do have a big snow pile there, so, as the truck will be pulling the tractor out if it doesn't stop, if it can't stop, you can just bounce into the snow bank and it will stop and I can stop the tractor, unhook it and call it good.

00:15:02.307 --> 00:15:04.186
Everything about that makes sense.

00:15:04.186 --> 00:15:12.967
What I didn't plan for was backing up to the tractor.

00:15:12.967 --> 00:15:13.469
Oh Lord, have mercy.

00:15:13.469 --> 00:15:14.230
Lord, lord, lord, have mercy.

00:15:14.330 --> 00:15:20.277
I get in the truck, I start backing up and I don't want to get too close to the tractor.

00:15:20.277 --> 00:15:23.687
Before I start applying brakes, I'm switching over to the brake.

00:15:23.687 --> 00:15:28.846
I'm not stopping, I'm sliding and I'm throwing my feet around.

00:15:28.846 --> 00:15:30.691
Like am I on the freaking brake right now?

00:15:30.691 --> 00:15:32.864
I've got sweatpants on.

00:15:32.864 --> 00:15:36.331
I've got a bib on like the full onesie jumpsuit.

00:15:36.331 --> 00:15:42.610
Basically, here that that freaking, I don't know Carhartt jumpers big snow boots on.

00:15:42.610 --> 00:15:44.653
I'm looking around trying to make sure I'm not on the gas.

00:15:44.653 --> 00:15:45.154
I'm fucking flipping all around, sorry, lord.

00:15:45.154 --> 00:15:45.145
Boots on.

00:15:45.145 --> 00:15:45.475
I'm looking around trying to make sure I'm not on the gas.

00:15:45.475 --> 00:15:47.236
I'm fucking flipping all around.

00:15:47.236 --> 00:15:50.768
Sorry, lord, I apologize, I swore right back there, but I'm getting heated already.

00:15:50.768 --> 00:15:55.022
Hope you can feel it coming through the speakers At this point.

00:15:55.543 --> 00:16:02.625
I didn't realize nor account for the fact that my tractor slid off the road, fell kind of down in a hole.

00:16:02.625 --> 00:16:04.504
What does that tell you?

00:16:04.504 --> 00:16:09.263
My tractor slid off the road, fell kind of down in a hole.

00:16:09.263 --> 00:16:09.744
What does that tell you?

00:16:09.744 --> 00:16:10.807
My tractor slid off the road.

00:16:10.807 --> 00:16:14.856
That should tell you my truck, without brakes, is likely to slip off the road.

00:16:14.856 --> 00:16:23.866
What I probably should have done is lifted the bucket on the tractor up enough that, if the truck kept going, it would have just run into the freaking bucket and stopped.

00:16:23.866 --> 00:16:26.061
But no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:16:26.061 --> 00:16:31.032
I left that down, creating a freaking ramp slash catapult for the pickup truck.

00:16:31.332 --> 00:16:55.164
All right, as I'm sliding downhill into the tractor, foot crammed on the brakes, trying to look back, noticing that, hey, you are just going to smash right into your tractor and then you were probably going to monster truck, grave digger, big foot your ass all the way up over the top of this tractor and destroy it.

00:16:55.164 --> 00:16:56.106
That's what's going to happen.

00:16:56.106 --> 00:17:01.543
Old Red, rolling on some 32s, is going to crush your brand new tractor.

00:17:01.543 --> 00:17:03.467
So what do I do?

00:17:03.467 --> 00:17:13.384
Instead of throwing it in park because I was fearful of the fact that it might just stop on top of the tractor, I slam it down into gear and I hit the throttle.

00:17:13.384 --> 00:17:23.787
I drop it in gear, cram, jam the gears so that I can stop it from sliding in reverse and launch that sucker out before I run over the tractor.

00:17:24.288 --> 00:17:32.211
What I didn't see at this moment in time was that the bumper of my truck had actually gone up over the bucket and hooked onto the tractor.

00:17:32.211 --> 00:17:48.394
So when it did, my tailgate and bumper hooked onto the bucket, damn near, ripped my tailgate off but in the meantime blew the bucket shock off of the left side, so the actual like bucket cylinder.

00:17:48.394 --> 00:17:53.269
It literally ripped the welds right off the cylinder.

00:17:53.269 --> 00:18:04.451
So my lines don't look broken, but it took the threads on the little metal like nipple that's welded onto my cylinder and snapped it right off.

00:18:04.451 --> 00:18:08.161
At this time I can't even see the tractor.

00:18:08.161 --> 00:18:21.201
I just fire the truck forward, slam it into the snow bank, drop it in park and jump out to hear my wife running up the frigging driveway yelling at me, screaming at the top of her lungs what?

00:18:21.240 --> 00:18:23.144
the fuck are you doing?

00:18:23.566 --> 00:18:28.284
And at that moment I realized, huh, that reminds me a lot of my dad, for two reasons.

00:18:28.284 --> 00:18:34.221
Number one, when I was a kid and I did dumb shit scratch that Up until two years ago.

00:18:34.221 --> 00:18:37.087
Doing dumb shit up until scratch that.

00:18:37.087 --> 00:18:44.092
A year ago, when I lost my dad, if I did something dumb, my dad would have yelled at me what the fuck are you doing?

00:18:44.092 --> 00:19:03.432
Also, if I found my dad doing something dumb, like being stuck off the side of the freaking lawn which one of the last times I actually yelled at my dad, he buried the plow truck off the side of the road I hooked on with my truck and towed him halfway across the yard after yelling what the fuck are you doing?

00:19:03.432 --> 00:19:05.924
Because he smashed into my truck with his plow truck.

00:19:05.924 --> 00:19:07.587
Well, yeah.

00:19:07.587 --> 00:19:14.450
So the first thing I realized is wow, this reminds me of my dad, both him yelling at me or me yelling at him.

00:19:14.450 --> 00:19:17.699
And then I quickly realized huh, that was never really helpful.

00:19:17.699 --> 00:19:19.766
Yeah, still isn't.

00:19:21.342 --> 00:19:22.405
I go back to the tractor.

00:19:22.405 --> 00:19:27.111
I'm looking, I can see the bumper of the truck is just ripped right to shreds.

00:19:27.111 --> 00:19:32.392
And I look at the tractor and it is just shooting hydraulic fluid all over the place.

00:19:32.392 --> 00:19:35.683
After some quick appraisals.

00:19:35.683 --> 00:19:37.126
Here it appears to be.

00:19:37.126 --> 00:19:40.193
It is just the bucket cylinder that I've destroyed.

00:19:40.193 --> 00:19:49.209
Lines look good, no real crazy cosmetic damage, some scratches and areas that I probably would have scratched in due time anyway.

00:19:49.288 --> 00:20:01.761
So my cousin came over, we took the actual hydraulic cylinder off and then I spent all Sunday trying to track down an aftermarket option.

00:20:01.761 --> 00:20:09.374
But the bummer in all of this is that my tractor is so new and it's one of the newer uh like sub compact tractors.

00:20:09.374 --> 00:20:10.361
It's not really big.

00:20:10.361 --> 00:20:16.661
So there's really no aftermarket companies making these uh replacement parts for these.

00:20:16.661 --> 00:20:27.678
So I found an aftermarket company that would make one literally twice the size of what I actually need and they would make it for 180 bucks and they're in New Jersey.

00:20:27.678 --> 00:20:28.740
I'd have it in a couple of days.

00:20:28.740 --> 00:20:31.651
But the bummer is they don't make anything my size.

00:20:31.730 --> 00:20:35.601
So on Monday morning I called the manufacturer.

00:20:35.601 --> 00:20:37.324
I called the shop where I bought the tractor.

00:20:37.324 --> 00:20:41.989
They looked into it and they want $470.

00:20:41.989 --> 00:20:58.644
$470 for this hydraulic cylinder that I literally just broke the damn nipple off of, when I can find a upgraded, much bigger, much better, stronger version for $180, that right there chaps my ass.

00:20:59.286 --> 00:21:17.423
So I found a hydraulic repair shop in Gorham and I drove it out there and they're going to take it apart, drill it out, put it back on, kind of reweld it and set me back up and hopefully, when I get that back, I can reattach it to the tractor, re-hook up all the hydraulics, cross my fingers and pray that we're good to go.

00:21:17.423 --> 00:21:20.849
So, with all that said, I don't know what it's going to cost me.

00:21:20.849 --> 00:21:22.313
I don't know when it's going to be done.

00:21:22.313 --> 00:21:34.613
I literally begged them to try to get it to me before the next few storms, because we are due to get another six inches on Thursday and they're talking about a possible 16 or 18 inches over the freaking weekend.

00:21:34.613 --> 00:21:45.204
Good God, almighty, where's the Tylenol Shit Gut check?

00:21:58.757 --> 00:22:04.019
All right, all right, all right, all right, yeah, alright, alright, alright.

00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:18.087
Alright, y'all see, y'all heard that delay right there and you thought for sure that my beautiful bride decided to not join me on the lovers episode.

00:22:18.087 --> 00:22:19.288
That's what you thought, admit it.

00:22:19.288 --> 00:22:19.929
Admit it.

00:22:19.929 --> 00:22:34.856
You thought I was going to do this whole show by myself, you wish Well, I appreciate you joining, dear, and if you don't stop fidgeting, looking for things over there, I'm going to snap, because you my.

00:22:34.856 --> 00:22:35.717
Can you hear it?

00:22:36.317 --> 00:22:46.952
No, I can't hear nothing, but I can see you and you're starting to make me like itch Like my itch today because I needed gum really bad yeah, well, here's.

00:22:47.634 --> 00:22:49.724
Here's the insights to a relationship.

00:22:49.724 --> 00:22:53.517
Okay, right now my wife is holding the baby.

00:22:53.517 --> 00:22:54.480
She's sleeping.

00:22:54.480 --> 00:22:58.672
We're trying to finish off this portion of the podcast, as promised.

00:22:58.672 --> 00:23:00.115
Here we are to deliver.

00:23:00.115 --> 00:23:03.440
Um, she's trying to keep little busy, rain, quiet and sleeping.

00:23:03.440 --> 00:23:16.201
But you've lost something in the couch so you are fidgeting and moving things and it's starting to legitimately cause a tick in my brain like I'm gonna snap don't bring balin into this yeah, I didn't mean that.

00:23:17.482 --> 00:23:40.826
And then earlier today you messaged me what please bring me some gum, because I'm having withdrawals from gum g u m I have an addiction y'all, and you know it's not a very expensive addiction I mean, it can be besides my shoe addiction and my purse addiction and my cowboy boot addiction.

00:23:41.407 --> 00:23:45.615
No, this one is not very expensive, but it is an addiction.

00:23:45.615 --> 00:23:54.270
I constantly need gum, gum, gum, all the time, like I feel, like I'm fiending if I do not have gum.

00:23:54.270 --> 00:23:57.549
And so you were coming to my office today anyway.

00:23:57.549 --> 00:24:06.319
So I said please, for the love of God, actually for the love of gum get me a pack out of the snack drawer.

00:24:06.500 --> 00:24:17.859
And then, when you were about to leave, I said, texted you don't forget my gum yeah, when you were going over your addictions you said shoo, and it sounded like chew and I was like thank god you don't.

00:24:17.859 --> 00:24:21.227
You don't shoot a backy like my old man did.

00:24:21.227 --> 00:24:24.213
Good Lord, which is like 20 bucks a pouch now.

00:24:24.400 --> 00:24:29.051
I tried pouches one time because the boys were doing it.

00:24:29.180 --> 00:24:29.741
Like those little like.

00:24:30.484 --> 00:24:31.228
Isn't that what they're called?

00:24:31.461 --> 00:24:32.726
Oh, those ones are stupid.

00:24:33.203 --> 00:24:34.180
Do you stick them in your lip, my?

00:24:34.200 --> 00:24:36.307
old man's pouch was like a pouch of cut tobacco.

00:24:36.307 --> 00:24:38.082
No, no, I'm just saying I tried, yeah little snuff, patch things.

00:24:38.082 --> 00:24:38.182
Yeah.

00:24:38.182 --> 00:24:39.424
Yeah, that's enough patch things yeah.

00:24:39.464 --> 00:24:45.474
Yeah, One time and I was like I don't even know what the heck I'm doing, it tasted like donkey ass it's awful.

00:24:46.359 --> 00:24:48.208
I was in high school.

00:24:48.208 --> 00:24:51.730
I was volunteering to measure for the track team.

00:24:51.730 --> 00:25:05.990
So our football coaches a lot of them, were track and field coaches, so one of them had me out there measuring distances on discus and shot put and stuff and he was like, hey, big dog, you want to keep yourself busy?

00:25:05.990 --> 00:25:09.169
And he gives me a, takes a like a skull can.

00:25:09.490 --> 00:25:09.810
Okay.

00:25:09.900 --> 00:25:12.308
And he's like go ahead and pack yourself a lipper while you're out here.

00:25:12.308 --> 00:25:15.108
This is, like you know, football coaches.

00:25:15.189 --> 00:25:15.450
Right.

00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:19.990
I'm in high school, probably 14, 15.

00:25:19.990 --> 00:25:20.412
I don't know.

00:25:20.920 --> 00:25:25.334
My coach is like here's awfully young to be in high school.

00:25:25.334 --> 00:25:28.224
I started high school when I was like 13 years old.

00:25:28.339 --> 00:25:30.428
I graduated before turning 18.

00:25:30.428 --> 00:25:33.627
You're talking to a prodigy right here.

00:25:34.859 --> 00:25:41.609
Most kids are going into high school like sweet 16, 15, 16 years old.

00:25:41.760 --> 00:25:45.247
I don't know the dimensions on this one here, but I started high school at like 13.

00:25:45.247 --> 00:25:48.849
I graduated high school when I was 17.

00:25:48.849 --> 00:25:55.648
I went the whole summer after high school before turning 18 anyways.

00:25:56.230 --> 00:25:56.832
Good Lord.

00:25:58.164 --> 00:26:00.279
So you're dealing with a prodigy right there sleeping.

00:26:00.279 --> 00:26:03.378
She's going to be just gifted.

00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:09.385
Were you in like academic honors or something you out of school quickly, like you just aced out of it.

00:26:10.401 --> 00:26:12.008
My mom just didn't want me at home anymore.

00:26:12.008 --> 00:26:17.332
The funny thing is, one of my best friends is like four days younger than me.

00:26:17.332 --> 00:26:20.048
So me and Dave both the same scenario.

00:26:20.048 --> 00:26:22.025
We were the youngins.

00:26:22.025 --> 00:26:23.108
What was I even talking about?

00:26:23.108 --> 00:26:24.404
Oh, can you think about this?

00:26:24.566 --> 00:26:25.087
day and age.

00:26:25.559 --> 00:26:30.090
A high school football coach throwing a 13, 14-year-old a skull.

00:26:30.090 --> 00:26:32.425
Can and being like here, go ahead pack yourself a lipper.

00:26:32.425 --> 00:26:43.050
And then fast forward to the fact that I never stopped talking and I'm in a field sweating because it's track and field and I'm measuring stuff and I'm pounding Gatorade in water.

00:26:43.050 --> 00:26:44.343
What do you think happened?

00:26:44.523 --> 00:26:45.465
Ooh, you swallowed it.

00:26:45.465 --> 00:26:47.291
Yeah, swallowed all of it.

00:26:47.961 --> 00:26:53.522
Next thing, you know, fast forward to me being in the woods at the high school throwing up violently everywhere.

00:26:53.542 --> 00:26:54.746
Oh, I bet, oh, I bet.

00:26:55.186 --> 00:27:03.192
This is not the story that I wanted to start our lovers podcast with, but For some reason, that's not where I thought you were going at all.

00:27:03.212 --> 00:27:03.780
What's forever?

00:27:03.780 --> 00:27:20.721
I literally pictured your dad like, and how he used to spit his tobacco and you started talking about like, measuring distance and, for whatever reason, my mind went left field and was like hey, boy, mark it here no, that would make sense, but that would be something your dad would have done it makes sense.

00:27:21.963 --> 00:27:29.509
so oddly, anyway, this isn't how you would prescribe starting a lover's podcast, but, truth be told, this really is.

00:27:30.141 --> 00:27:31.425
This is us right.

00:27:31.425 --> 00:27:34.248
This is real raw you leave nothing off limits.

00:27:34.548 --> 00:27:38.564
No, have conversations that you wouldn't want to have at all times.

00:27:38.564 --> 00:27:43.008
Whether it's about how big of a shit somebody took right, it doesn't matter.

00:27:43.008 --> 00:27:45.390
It doesn't matter if it's catch and release on a turd.

00:27:45.470 --> 00:27:48.272
Did you say that because the dog was just squatting taking your shit on the TV?

00:27:48.272 --> 00:27:48.933
No, that's pretty funny.

00:27:49.013 --> 00:27:53.721
I'm just trying to think of things that nobody wants to talk about, but that's the point.

00:27:53.721 --> 00:27:55.307
You need to be comfortable in sharing all those things.

00:27:55.307 --> 00:28:06.925
I feel like I know friends' relationships where my buddy would say something to me and like enjoy himself joking, having like guys talk, but it would never go home and say it to the wife.

00:28:06.925 --> 00:28:07.407
You know what I mean?

00:28:07.407 --> 00:28:16.295
Yeah, and I feel like some people go to work and they release and they are themselves at work and they go home and they're not like they're afraid to say those things.

00:28:16.597 --> 00:28:16.739
Yeah.

00:28:16.920 --> 00:28:18.547
And I don't want to live in a world like that.

00:28:24.039 --> 00:28:25.242
You have to be able to just kind of uncork it and let it fly.

00:28:25.242 --> 00:28:27.188
You have to be uncomfortable with having uncomfortable conversations.

00:28:27.188 --> 00:28:35.759
That doesn't necessarily have to be like your relationship, having like a money talk or, uh, talk about like your feelings or anything like.

00:28:35.759 --> 00:28:46.645
It has to be like talking about uncomfortable things, like I just took the biggest deuce, caboose which nobody in the free world right now is thinking oh, what a lover's podcast.

00:28:47.000 --> 00:28:57.032
Husband and wife talking about taking poops Listen you got to be comfortable and I'm not saying this is like we're using examples here people, you have to be comfortable my wife doesn't poop.

00:28:57.032 --> 00:29:02.404
I shit like a trucker.

00:29:02.565 --> 00:29:03.406
Okay, that's enough.

00:29:03.406 --> 00:29:05.712
Good Lord.

00:29:06.561 --> 00:29:09.125
If we're going to continue these poop conversations, you got to be honest.

00:29:09.619 --> 00:29:11.047
One of the greatest poop stories of all.

00:29:11.047 --> 00:29:14.009
I mean, I have some amazing poop stories but we're not here to share those.

00:29:14.009 --> 00:29:18.308
I'll add a further date, but I just thought of this with our little banter back and forth.

00:29:18.308 --> 00:29:23.557
Finnegan, when he used to work for me, he was telling me how he had his septic pumped one time.

00:29:23.678 --> 00:29:24.000
Oh God.

00:29:24.140 --> 00:29:28.740
And the guy showed up and was pumping his septic and it smelled like awful right, of course.

00:29:28.740 --> 00:29:35.840
You know the whole cul-de-sac's coming out to look Someone's getting their septic pumped, whatever, clark looks over at the guy and the guy looks at him and goes, oh don't worry.

00:29:35.840 --> 00:29:36.922
Just saying you that's a great line.

00:29:36.922 --> 00:30:09.883
I don, mentally, I'm not feeling okay Having those conversations.

00:30:09.883 --> 00:30:24.420
You and me have had to have extremely uncomfortable conversations leading up to the birth of Little Paisley Reign, navigating those waters After that we've had countless difficult conversations now trying to operate the business work from home, stay at home stuff, all those different things.

00:30:24.559 --> 00:30:27.869
Like I see you enjoying Elon Musk and Little X.

00:30:28.119 --> 00:30:32.489
Well, I don't know what Little X just said, but he literally just covered his mouth and was like whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:30:33.300 --> 00:30:35.229
Oh, he just interrupted the whole program.

00:30:35.229 --> 00:30:36.833
He had this little chain on and stuff.

00:30:36.833 --> 00:30:37.236
It was pretty funny.

00:30:37.236 --> 00:30:39.580
It's hilarious, he was climbing on his shoulders and stuff.

00:30:39.580 --> 00:30:55.374
People that are listening right now have no clue that you're watching news with the sound off in the background, and I've already seen it, so I can recap, but it's almost like we have this ESP finishing each other's sentences.

00:30:55.574 --> 00:30:57.236
Yes, we do have that.

00:30:57.236 --> 00:30:58.797
I can give you the look.

00:30:59.136 --> 00:31:09.169
Yeah, but normalize having conversations that might seem uncomfortable, whether it's a gross conversation or a sensitive conversation, normalize those things.

00:31:09.169 --> 00:31:18.173
So I don't even plan on having that as our um, you know, little tips, tricks, techniques type of scenario.

00:31:18.173 --> 00:31:18.294
There.

00:31:18.294 --> 00:31:19.260
They just kind of happen naturally.

00:31:19.260 --> 00:31:24.070
That's what I love about this, that was natural yeah, just like pooping, it's natural it's natural.

00:31:24.070 --> 00:31:25.834
It's natural, everybody does it, shit happens.

00:31:26.381 --> 00:31:30.592
I mean, we've talked about it in the past and I think that it's important to kind of recap again.

00:31:30.779 --> 00:31:41.834
It's like, you know, being comfortable with having those uncomfortable conversations, like before we learn to be each other's husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé, that sort of thing.

00:31:41.834 --> 00:31:54.203
We learned to be each other's best friend and that's where we got comfortable with having those uncomfortable conversations, because you, openly, can have those conversations with your best friend, you can be real raw and honest and you know that there's no judgment there.

00:31:54.203 --> 00:32:24.105
Like I think that that's important is like and even if, like, you're in a rough situation, like, like an uncomfortable situation in your relationship, just taking it back to like all right, if this was my best friend, maybe you and your partner are not best friends yet, maybe you're in the stage of getting there, or maybe you're hitting a rough patch and you're like all right, let me start from scratch, let me learn to be their best friend.

00:32:24.105 --> 00:32:25.869
Again, you know what I mean.

00:32:25.869 --> 00:32:26.190
Just like.

00:32:26.190 --> 00:32:27.692
Let me learn like.

00:32:27.692 --> 00:32:35.173
Not that you forget who the person is, but maybe you get just stuck in day-to-day life like work, work, work.

00:32:35.334 --> 00:32:43.348
Come home, do the same thing just the roller coaster of life and you lose touch with things, or you just take those that are closest to you for granted.

00:32:43.528 --> 00:32:43.710
Yeah.

00:32:43.920 --> 00:32:50.743
I mean it's easier to not work as hard on the things that you feel like at some point you're entitled to.

00:32:50.743 --> 00:32:51.405
You know what I mean.

00:32:51.606 --> 00:32:52.128
Absolutely.

00:32:52.839 --> 00:32:56.691
And spoiler alert people, we all get old.

00:32:56.691 --> 00:32:58.586
We don't all age, gracefully.

00:32:58.586 --> 00:33:04.105
There's going to come a point in time in life where you might look like shit, you might feel like shit and you might shit yourself.

00:33:04.105 --> 00:33:14.212
Right, you want somebody that you're going to feel comfortable with and that you're going to look across the couch and remember all the things you've been through and still love that person.

00:33:14.212 --> 00:33:15.564
Right, I mean, you got to think about those things.

00:33:15.625 --> 00:33:16.407
Even if I look like this.

00:33:17.560 --> 00:33:20.150
Yeah, Dougie Spoons Well.

00:33:20.150 --> 00:33:25.632
My eyes crossed my tongue out those conversations that you don't want to have.

00:33:25.632 --> 00:33:30.996
Much like having to call your wife and say, hey, can you come tow me out?

00:33:30.996 --> 00:33:35.646
I just got the tractor stuck to you arriving, asking me what the F I'm doing.

00:33:36.930 --> 00:33:40.924
That's not really how it happened, but we'll save them the drama.

00:33:41.125 --> 00:33:43.449
Oh, they heard the drama I vented earlier.

00:33:43.449 --> 00:33:48.708
But the point is you got to be comfortable enough to have those conversations, whether you're yelling and screaming and swearing at each other.

00:33:48.708 --> 00:33:50.683
You got to brush them off later.

00:33:50.683 --> 00:33:51.886
You know what I mean.

00:33:52.188 --> 00:33:53.471
Yeah, yeah.

00:33:55.441 --> 00:34:00.586
Well, on that blushing, beautiful note, let's get on to what was scheduled.

00:34:00.586 --> 00:34:12.367
Do you know, as this podcast episode is dropping on the eve of Lovers' Day, St Valentine's Day, do you know where Valentine's Day really came from?

00:34:12.849 --> 00:34:13.692
Did it come from Cupid?

00:34:13.692 --> 00:34:19.572
You know the grown-ass man in a diaper shooting people with arrows, which is probably highly illegal.

00:34:19.572 --> 00:34:20.800
Yeah, that would make a lot of sense.

00:34:20.800 --> 00:34:21.342
Is probably highly illegal.

00:34:21.362 --> 00:34:22.083
Yeah, that would make a lot of sense.

00:34:22.083 --> 00:34:33.346
I did some research because I always knew that it came from Saint Valentine or Valentine, and I remember this story from school.

00:34:33.346 --> 00:34:35.016
But I wanted to dig into it because, like most things, I learned, I forgot them.

00:34:35.016 --> 00:34:36.824
Okay, it just kind of happens you get old and you forget everything.

00:34:37.820 --> 00:34:44.994
Valentine's Day is named after Saint Valentine, a Catholic priest who lived in Rome in the 3rd century.

00:34:44.994 --> 00:34:52.202
There are many stories about Saint Valentine, and over time these stories grew into the legend that we know today.

00:34:52.202 --> 00:35:04.793
At the time of Valentine's life, many Romans were converting to Christianity, but the Emperor, claudius II was a pagan and created strict laws about Christians and what they were allowed to do.

00:35:04.793 --> 00:35:13.099
Claudius believed that Roman soldiers should be completely devoted to Rome and therefore passed laws preventing them from marrying.

00:35:13.099 --> 00:35:24.780
St Valentine began to marry these soldiers in super-secret Christian ceremonies, and this was the beginning of his reputation for believing in the importance of love.

00:35:24.780 --> 00:35:30.492
Eventually, valentine was found out and jailed for his crimes against Claudius.

00:35:30.492 --> 00:35:36.853
While in prison, valentine cared for his fellow prisoners and also his jailer's blind daughter.

00:35:36.853 --> 00:35:50.572
Legend has it that Valentine cured the girl's blindness and that his final act before being executed was to write her a love message signed from your Valentine.

00:35:50.572 --> 00:35:57.411
Valentine was executed on the 14th of February in the year 270.

00:35:57.411 --> 00:35:58.972
Isn't that crazy.

00:35:59.173 --> 00:35:59.954
Wow, that is crazy.

00:35:59.954 --> 00:36:07.945
Well, my Valentine you have been my Valentine for the last 10 years and I have a question for you.

00:36:07.945 --> 00:36:09.954
Okay, will you be my Valentine?

00:36:09.954 --> 00:36:13.487
Yeah, aw, yeah, you haven't asked me to be your Valentine, so I figured.

00:36:13.527 --> 00:36:14.753
I'd jump the gun here.

00:36:14.753 --> 00:36:16.019
It's a good time.

00:36:16.461 --> 00:36:17.326
I have a fun fact for you.

00:36:17.326 --> 00:36:29.851
You probably don't know this and I don't know how I know this knowledge, and I don't know how I know this knowledge, but in two years, Valentine's Day falls on the Super Bowl.

00:36:30.952 --> 00:36:34.215
Really yes, wow, that's impressive.

00:36:37.501 --> 00:36:40.851
You took my car to work and you left it on the sports channel.

00:36:40.871 --> 00:36:46.431
Oh Wow, bravo, they were talking about it, so're trying to get in my pants.

00:36:46.820 --> 00:37:04.353
You left the sports channel on, so I listened to it all the way to work and they were talking about the super bowl and valentine's impressive huh and then I happened to scroll on the uh social web and I saw a bunch of people posting that they already hated their husband because Super Bowl was going to take over Valentine's Day.

00:37:04.840 --> 00:37:06.565
And I was like listen.

00:37:07.045 --> 00:37:08.449
I get snacks and food.

00:37:08.630 --> 00:37:09.411
I'm not mad at all.

00:37:09.411 --> 00:37:11.965
Some of the best Valentine's snacks you're going to get.

00:37:12.204 --> 00:37:13.288
Yeah, right there and there.

00:37:13.288 --> 00:37:15.333
I'm not mad about it, I'm mad about it.

00:37:15.679 --> 00:37:32.789
So, as we prepare for this continued lovers conversation, I was thinking about it and the relationship episodes of the podcast have always been some of our most requested episodes.

00:37:32.789 --> 00:37:35.213
Okay, and I don't know.

00:37:35.213 --> 00:38:01.346
The uh funny thing is we have uh so many people that we've met in our lives that will send a random message to you or have a conversation that says relationship goals, like I see you guys, it's my relationship goal, this is what I'm looking for, and we don't feel like it's all that special, like this just feels normal to us, but for some people this just feels right.

00:38:01.788 --> 00:38:03.829
Yeah, and for some people it just seems, I don't know, like something that's unattainable.

00:38:03.829 --> 00:38:04.594
For some people this just feels right.

00:38:04.614 --> 00:38:22.027
Yeah, and for some people it just seems, um, I don't know, like something that's unattainable for some reason right I think what I get a lot from people is not necessarily like like you've talked about it in previous episodes, about like the filters that you see on social media, but people see that out in public when we're out together as well.

00:38:22.027 --> 00:38:33.655
So it's not like like you see us on social media lovey dovey on each other, but you also see the same people um out in public.

00:38:34.438 --> 00:38:40.456
True, so like they we're not sugarcoating it like on social media, like this is just us real, raw and honest.

00:38:40.858 --> 00:38:58.655
And the truth is is that what we have isn't easy and what we have isn't perfect, and we can bicker and you know and argue and work through things all the time, but the point is that you know, if you have the same goal and and each other's interests in mind and you share a common respect and core values, and you're going to work through those things.

00:38:58.655 --> 00:38:59.818
Nothing's easy.

00:38:59.818 --> 00:39:01.110
This relationship isn't easy.

00:39:01.110 --> 00:39:04.764
Some people that might seem or feel unattainable, but it isn't.

00:39:04.764 --> 00:39:16.112
It's very, very easy to attain if you are willing to work for it and find somebody that is sharing those beliefs and are willing to work towards it and through it with you as well.

00:39:16.112 --> 00:39:27.820
I also like the fact that you just mentioned previous episodes and I don't think that you know or obviously I know you don't know because I just took these notes in the office.

00:39:27.820 --> 00:39:29.822
You have no clue where we were headed today.

00:39:30.202 --> 00:39:31.884
No, I was feeding our baby.

00:39:32.384 --> 00:39:36.567
I went back and pulled up some of our previous episodes.

00:39:36.567 --> 00:39:50.918
I'm not going to rehash all of them here and I don't want to just totally repeat an entire episode, so I just kind of wanted to highlight three of our relationship episodes for people to go back to, because one of the beautiful things about our podcast is it lives on forever.

00:39:50.918 --> 00:39:56.476
You can find it at Shedstrugglepodcastcom all major platforms as well.

00:39:56.476 --> 00:40:02.766
But if you go back to episode 84, it takes self-love and acceptance to find happiness.

00:40:02.766 --> 00:40:07.942
Learn to love yourself and take accountability for your share of failed relationships.

00:40:07.942 --> 00:40:14.849
Doing so will build the necessary self-esteem and confidence to dust off your feelings and try again.

00:40:14.849 --> 00:40:19.139
Episode 84, do you remember that one Take self-love and acceptance to find happiness?

00:40:19.139 --> 00:40:25.458
I think those are some values, just some lessons that we can all number one, go back to the episode and listen to again.

00:40:25.458 --> 00:40:30.735
But the whole notion of you can't love somebody else until you love yourself.

00:40:30.735 --> 00:40:34.577
That might sound rather cliche-ish, but it is absolutely true.

00:40:34.577 --> 00:40:43.130
You need to value yourself and to love yourself, because you can't transfer love to anybody else if you're constantly downplaying yourself.

00:40:43.130 --> 00:40:50.492
You need to believe in yourself, love yourself and appreciate yourself before you can appreciate anybody else.

00:40:50.492 --> 00:41:16.061
I think my favorite relationship episode that we have goes all the way back to episode 33 relationship essentials, uncomfortable conversations and shared values the importance of shared values, describing them as the super glue of all relationships, emphasizing that couples must share similar values or they will live with resentment.

00:41:16.061 --> 00:41:37.713
That episode might have been one of our most controversial because we talked about the fact that if we don't believe in some of the same things, then I don't think that we should be together, because if we don't believe in those things and one of us is constantly working for something that somebody else does not believe in, then you're just setting yourself up for utter disappointment and failure.

00:41:37.713 --> 00:41:47.291
Failure, difficulty in the future, and that if you share those common values, then you're going to work through difficult situations because you're both bound by those values.

00:41:47.291 --> 00:41:49.534
I really love episode 33.

00:41:50.235 --> 00:41:59.442
And the episode right before that was actually our first ever relationship episode and it was number 32, the Importance of Communication and Relationships.

00:41:59.442 --> 00:42:03.059
I think we just kind of touched on it a little bit just a few minutes ago.

00:42:03.059 --> 00:42:08.583
But that episode, the premise of it, is that effective communication starts with excellent listening.

00:42:08.583 --> 00:42:14.661
Everyone wants to be heard, eliminate distractions and dedicate your attention to your partner.

00:42:14.661 --> 00:42:24.760
Those three episodes 32, 33, and 84, three great relationship episodes, those little snippets that I just gave you about those episodes.

00:42:24.760 --> 00:42:40.221
Remember those and think about those, because today I'm excited to share some research from a celebrity, high-end, high-paid matchmaker that is going to back up the things that we've been saying for years.

00:42:40.221 --> 00:42:41.784
I'm stoked about it.

00:42:43.311 --> 00:42:53.420
So my plan for today's episode, number one, is like we've been doing talking to all the lovers in the room, all those that are already in committed relationships.

00:42:53.420 --> 00:43:06.335
If you're working through something, if you're going through something, if you're working through something, if you're going through something, if you're growing through something, us expressing to you to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, there's going to come a point where those uncomfortable conversations become comfortable.

00:43:06.335 --> 00:43:09.599
Also, reminding you guys to go back to those other episodes.

00:43:09.599 --> 00:43:10.835
Find some clues that are there.

00:43:10.835 --> 00:43:17.215
But I didn't want today's show to be entirely about people that are already in relationships.

00:43:17.215 --> 00:43:19.197
We have a lot of single Pringles out there.

00:43:19.197 --> 00:43:29.320
We have a lot of people in our life that are close to us, that are out there trying to find love, trying to find L-O-V-E, and we want to provide some glimmers of hope for them.

00:43:29.320 --> 00:43:33.849
So I found some research from a celebrity matchmaker.

00:43:34.472 --> 00:43:37.271
I was actually watching the news the other day research from a celebrity matchmaker.

00:43:37.271 --> 00:43:38.474
I was actually watching the news the other day.

00:43:38.474 --> 00:43:52.092
You and me saw this lady on there talking about the top dating trends for 2025 and a surprising turn towards how people are finding lovers and how they're going out and finding matches and starting relationships.

00:43:52.092 --> 00:44:27.237
So, before we get into the article the number one, most surprising dating trend to look for in 2025, before we get into that, I was doing some other research and I found some people that answered all these surveys and they were talking about or surveying people that are in relationships for, like their second marriage, the third marriage, they've gone through some trial and error and they asked those people on their second marriage, on their third marriage, what happened?

00:44:27.317 --> 00:44:29.561
What did you see as the number one mistake?

00:44:29.561 --> 00:44:37.684
For the reason why that first marriage didn't work, why you had to go out and try again to find actual love?

00:44:37.684 --> 00:44:43.503
The number one answer that all those folks gave was be together for the right reasons.

00:44:43.503 --> 00:44:49.422
By far the most common answer was being with the person for the wrong reasons.

00:44:49.422 --> 00:45:20.907
That's why marriages and relationships failed, and some of the reasons that they included, to be specific, were pressure from friends and family feeling like a loser because they were single and settling for the first person that came along, being together for the image of it, because the relationship looked good on paper or on social media, not because the two people actually admired each other and being young and naive and hopelessly in love and thinking that love would solve everything.

00:45:20.907 --> 00:45:27.523
I think all those examples right there would identify reasons for the breakups in most of my relationships, right.

00:45:27.523 --> 00:45:41.298
But if you think about these marriages and when you start having friends that you've known for a long time get divorces, talk to them and then realize that they've been hiding their true feelings, a lot of those things are slammed right in here.

00:45:41.469 --> 00:45:43.655
I'm always surprised to hear from somebody that's like man.

00:45:43.655 --> 00:45:45.981
I just felt like a freaking loser.

00:45:45.981 --> 00:45:52.222
Everybody around me was in a relationship, so I just kind of jumped into the fresh relationship and I never really got to know that person.

00:45:52.222 --> 00:46:01.065
And the next thing, you know, we were getting married, you know, or just because everybody thought it was the right fit, we looked together, you know, I don't know.

00:46:01.065 --> 00:46:10.836
Just everybody trying to live up to the joneses, the social media, you know, filter fueled obsession with this person just looks like a good partner for me.

00:46:10.836 --> 00:46:16.742
So I'm going to accept the fact that they treat me like shit and just get along with it, that whole chestnut?

00:46:16.742 --> 00:46:19.931
Oh Well, hello peanut.

00:46:20.856 --> 00:46:22.173
Hello, Is this thing on?

00:46:22.173 --> 00:46:22.596
She does.

00:46:23.831 --> 00:46:25.597
Are you here to join the conversation?

00:46:26.500 --> 00:46:26.880
Hello.

00:46:27.469 --> 00:46:30.376
It is because of L-O-V-E that you exist, little darling.

00:46:30.376 --> 00:46:38.420
Yes, that is correct, I don't think I can record with you smiling like that at me from over there.

00:46:38.610 --> 00:46:41.860
So if y'all hear some grunting, no, it's not me over here trying to take a poop.

00:46:41.860 --> 00:46:46.358
It's Miss Thang over here playing with a teething ring.

00:46:46.358 --> 00:46:48.543
All right, we're going to try this.

00:46:49.230 --> 00:46:50.896
Because this is a lover's relationship.

00:46:50.896 --> 00:46:59.003
It's a little give and take here and we're going to try to work through this with little Miss Paisley Rain, but when you start freaking out, Daddy's going to have to stop.

00:46:59.003 --> 00:47:01.355
Can you hold in there?

00:47:03.521 --> 00:47:04.041
Let's see.

00:47:04.710 --> 00:47:07.293
Okay, we'll see All that out the way.

00:47:07.293 --> 00:47:12.358
Let's get on to the research, because if I don't get moving, someone's going to yell at me to get moving.

00:47:12.358 --> 00:47:21.302
So I found this article I think it was on Parade, something I don't know, some website news, something.

00:47:21.302 --> 00:47:22.635
I saw it on Fox News.

00:47:22.635 --> 00:47:32.996
To begin with, www, www, look it up the number one most surprising dating trend to look for in 2025, according to a celebrity matchmaker.

00:47:32.996 --> 00:47:34.474
I'm going to read through this.

00:47:34.474 --> 00:47:35.518
There's just some stuff in here.

00:47:35.518 --> 00:47:39.932
When you want to interject with some of your own notes, that's how we're going to treat this, all right.

00:47:40.494 --> 00:47:40.813
Okay.

00:47:40.875 --> 00:47:41.175
You ready?

00:47:41.175 --> 00:47:42.416
Nothing crazy here.

00:47:42.416 --> 00:47:43.298
Nothing crazy.

00:47:43.298 --> 00:48:02.077
Couple of quick things, celebrity matchmaker, relationship therapist, dr Christy Keterin, I think, but I can't barely read, so If if you chat about the current dating scene with a single person, you might hear sentiments like I'm in the trenches or it's hell out there.

00:48:02.077 --> 00:48:17.543
Dating is what you make it, but there are so many dating trends and toxic habits that certain people get into, like ghosting or not communicating what they're actually looking for, that can make it hard to find a genuine connection.

00:48:18.170 --> 00:48:19.170
I think that's a big one right.

00:48:19.170 --> 00:48:22.998
So in other words, dating is like Marketplace on Facebook.

00:48:23.280 --> 00:48:24.603
Yeah, Same thing.

00:48:24.603 --> 00:48:26.597
I guess you're using like Marketplace apps really.

00:48:26.710 --> 00:48:29.699
It's like it's a combination of Marketplace and a meat counter.

00:48:29.699 --> 00:48:32.114
You're being ghosted and you're not telling them what you want.

00:48:32.295 --> 00:48:33.398
That makes a lot of sense.

00:48:33.398 --> 00:48:37.195
That makes a lot of sense what you want like that makes a lot of sense.

00:48:37.215 --> 00:48:38.420
That makes a lot of sense, I mean, if you think about it.

00:48:38.420 --> 00:48:39.505
And I have a love-hate relationship with marketplace.

00:48:39.505 --> 00:48:39.949
Yeah, I'm out of that.

00:48:39.969 --> 00:48:54.440
I love to hate it, yeah when I was a kid, like if you go back to like your early relationships, I think a lot of like heartbreak and letdowns happen because the person that you thought was like interested in you, that's they weren't interested in.

00:48:54.460 --> 00:48:57.590
Yeah, at least from a guy's perspective that's like a big thing, like, yeah, at least from a guy's perspective, that's like a big thing.

00:48:57.590 --> 00:49:02.963
Like you, you landed in the friend zone too quickly, that whole blurred line there.

00:49:02.963 --> 00:49:06.940
I think if those things were put out early, a lot of heartache would be would be saved.

00:49:07.380 --> 00:49:10.235
Yeah, I think the hardest thing for like.

00:49:10.235 --> 00:49:18.251
For me, if I think back to it, is like you started dating this person and then that person wasn't who they painted this picture to be like.

00:49:18.251 --> 00:49:28.931
When they say like the honeymoon stage is over, like that's what they meant it, like that's yeah, you know what I mean, like because that person started to be somebody else or not even be somebody else.

00:49:28.951 --> 00:49:35.014
they were being somebody else at first and now their true colors are showing and you're like that's not what I signed up for, you were just trying to impress me.

00:49:35.635 --> 00:49:45.588
Yeah, and I guess that comes right down to like you know, communicating what you're in it for, and I think the invention of all these dating sites, aka boom boom sites.

00:49:45.588 --> 00:49:47.275
People are putting their intentions out there.

00:49:47.275 --> 00:49:48.804
This is looking to hook up, right.

00:49:48.804 --> 00:49:55.077
And I think people have been more accustomed to saying that that was a lot more of a no, no shun scenario back in our day.

00:49:55.077 --> 00:50:07.875
But I think the whole idea of people just putting it out there like I'm not looking for a relationship, I do think that that portion of it is healthy because otherwise you're just leading people on the whole ghosting scenario.

00:50:07.934 --> 00:50:11.474
I remember as a kid being like oh, you're not allowed to respond.

00:50:11.474 --> 00:50:14.371
For so many days, don't make the first text Like you went on a date.

00:50:14.371 --> 00:50:14.831
You know what I mean.

00:50:14.831 --> 00:50:17.074
For so many days, don't make the first text Like you went on a date, don't you know what I mean?

00:50:17.074 --> 00:50:22.621
All those pre-prescribed rules on like oh, you're going to smother the person if you communicate too early, bitch.

00:50:22.621 --> 00:50:24.483
No, if I'm interested, I'm going to tell you.

00:50:24.483 --> 00:50:28.085
I'm not here to be like I got to wait 48 hours.

00:50:28.085 --> 00:50:32.231
I'm only on hour 44.25.

00:50:32.231 --> 00:50:33.092
I can't text back now.

00:50:33.092 --> 00:50:34.496
I hate that bull.

00:50:34.516 --> 00:50:39.264
Yeah, that was all always crap, Like I was not really a fan of that.

00:50:39.264 --> 00:50:40.554
I mean, let's just be honest.

00:50:40.554 --> 00:50:42.335
I kissed you on the first date.

00:50:42.335 --> 00:50:44.313
You know, just a shooter's got to shoot.

00:50:44.333 --> 00:50:44.954
You came right at me.

00:50:45.074 --> 00:50:45.576
Make your move.

00:50:45.576 --> 00:50:46.838
Make your move.

00:50:46.838 --> 00:50:51.016
Let's ask, let's take a poll from the judges.

00:50:51.016 --> 00:50:52.521
Do you think he cared?

00:50:52.521 --> 00:50:53.813
No, because he's still here.

00:50:54.635 --> 00:50:55.217
Thank you.

00:50:55.217 --> 00:50:56.541
He met me like I was a Salisbury steak.

00:50:57.793 --> 00:50:59.070
I'm more of a prime rib kind of girl.

00:50:59.353 --> 00:51:00.989
Yes, I sold myself really short on Salisbury steak.

00:51:01.050 --> 00:51:03.632
Yeah, salisbury steak, I really wanted to say it.

00:51:04.675 --> 00:51:04.795
All.

00:51:04.835 --> 00:51:07.559
right the number one You're more of like a ribeye.

00:51:08.123 --> 00:51:08.425
Thanks.

00:51:08.708 --> 00:51:08.829
Yeah.

00:51:09.333 --> 00:51:10.237
The number one.

00:51:10.237 --> 00:51:11.512
I'm a cowboy steak.

00:51:11.512 --> 00:51:18.663
The number one most surprising dating trend in 2025, according to Celebrity Matchmaker.

00:51:18.663 --> 00:51:19.043
Are you ready?

00:51:19.405 --> 00:51:19.704
I'm ready.

00:51:20.449 --> 00:51:26.581
Dating apps, including niche options like single parents or seniors.

00:51:26.581 --> 00:51:28.405
I'm going to add farmers only Farmers only.

00:51:28.570 --> 00:51:29.829
I was just going there.

00:51:30.532 --> 00:51:34.722
Are currently one of the most prominent ways people meet potential partners.

00:51:34.722 --> 00:51:40.012
Prominent ways people meet potential partners.

00:51:40.012 --> 00:51:57.362
A 2023 survey reported that more than half of adults under age 30, 53% have used dating apps and sites, and while a lot of people find success that way, online dating can be a drag, so you may be happy to know that good old Dr Christine foresees a different trend springing up in 2025.

00:51:57.362 --> 00:52:05.737
One of the most surprising trends will be the rise, or shall we say, return, of community-focused dating.

00:52:06.800 --> 00:52:07.530
I have a question Did you?

00:52:07.530 --> 00:52:08.673
Ever go on a dating website.

00:52:10.318 --> 00:52:14.003
Honestly like, I think, dating websites.

00:52:14.003 --> 00:52:18.639
I don't think the popularity was like really there.

00:52:18.639 --> 00:52:24.623
Yet I remember at one point I think I signed up for like some freaking Yahoo dating site thing or whatever.

00:52:24.623 --> 00:52:29.262
I made like a profile and then I just had a few creepozoids actually reached out to me.

00:52:29.262 --> 00:52:31.728
It was like no, like didn't seem like real people.

00:52:32.110 --> 00:52:42.018
The girls and I made like a fake Plenty of fish account oh, really, yeah, and we set up like fake um, like we did not use our own pictures.

00:52:42.018 --> 00:52:44.288
Katarina was in on this, actually catfishing.

00:52:44.288 --> 00:52:50.550
You guys are the first oh yeah, and we said but we would go to wherever we told them to meet so that we could see these people.

00:52:50.550 --> 00:52:52.135
No good, glad I didn't fall.

00:52:52.155 --> 00:52:52.436
We only did it.

00:52:52.456 --> 00:53:06.603
We only did it, like I think, two times, and then we felt bad and we just like took like, I think, two times, and then we felt bad and we just like took, well, the first ones that came out like the original ones, like I don't remember what they were called, like it was long before the boom boom sites, right long before, like.

00:53:07.231 --> 00:53:08.436
But he always had plenty of fish.

00:53:08.436 --> 00:53:09.239
And what's the other ones?

00:53:09.259 --> 00:53:09.559
what are the?

00:53:09.559 --> 00:53:12.373
I didn't do them, so I'm not.

00:53:12.373 --> 00:53:12.552
What are?

00:53:12.572 --> 00:53:13.474
the other boom, boom ones.

00:53:13.474 --> 00:53:14.976
Everybody talks about tinder.

00:53:14.976 --> 00:53:22.664
Yeah, okay, that's it, tinder yeah, but um, it was like not, like was before, like farmers only and stuff.

00:53:22.746 --> 00:53:26.818
It was like yeah people used to mostly meet in like chat rooms, and what was it like?

00:53:27.059 --> 00:53:28.931
cupid, so I don't know what it was one of the very.

00:53:28.931 --> 00:53:30.813
It's like dating on aol.

00:53:30.813 --> 00:53:41.565
Okay, it was like early on and it's weird because you think about the way people go out and actually do try to meet people through dating apps.

00:53:41.565 --> 00:53:44.559
It's kind of crazy to me because I've never really had to experience it, so I think it's kind of.

00:53:44.831 --> 00:53:47.143
I would not in my like.

00:53:47.143 --> 00:53:48.429
I'm just putting this out on the record.

00:53:48.429 --> 00:53:50.418
If you decide to leave my ass, I am.

00:53:50.418 --> 00:53:55.320
We're just going to have a bunch of animals and I'm not dating in this world.

00:53:55.320 --> 00:53:58.061
Not happening, not happening.

00:53:58.083 --> 00:53:58.505
Not happening.

00:54:00.092 --> 00:54:00.594
Good news.

00:54:00.594 --> 00:54:05.721
According to the doctor, the online dating apps are starting to take a backseat.

00:54:05.721 --> 00:54:12.775
As more people seek deeper, more meaningful connections, there will be a shift towards dating.

00:54:12.775 --> 00:54:18.239
That involves wait for it shared social and community activities.

00:54:18.239 --> 00:54:30.063
More people are going to meet their significant other this year at volunteer events, church communities, neighborhood get togethers and maybe even communal cooking class.

00:54:30.650 --> 00:54:52.838
The point here, folks, that I'm going to interject and make right here if you want to meet somebody and I said this at the beginning of the episode, all the way, right in the very beginning of this, in the credits I said single Pringles I'm going to release to you the super secret, the insight on where the other singles are, how you're going to meet your actual interest, your actual potential soulmate.

00:54:52.838 --> 00:55:09.753
You're going to meet that person if you just get yourself out of your box, get yourself off the couch, out of the comfort zone and shocker do more of the things that you love to do.

00:55:09.753 --> 00:55:18.391
If you're doing what you love to do, by default, eventually you're going to find somebody doing the things that you love to do.

00:55:18.391 --> 00:55:23.362
And here's the thing, folks, shocker, you're already interested in the same things.

00:55:23.362 --> 00:55:26.855
That right, there is already a core value.

00:55:26.855 --> 00:55:29.820
You're starting to build core values.

00:55:29.820 --> 00:55:43.043
So by being out there doing the things that you already love to do, you're going to increase the rate and likelihood of which you might meet somebody that is already interested in the things that you're interested in.

00:55:43.043 --> 00:55:47.860
But the other benefit in this is the fact that you're doing things you love.

00:55:47.860 --> 00:55:48.902
So what does that result in?

00:55:48.902 --> 00:55:58.373
You being happier and the likelihood of meeting somebody and receiving that gift when you are more of a positive light because you're doing things that make you positive.

00:55:58.373 --> 00:56:00.677
That seems like a win-win to me.

00:56:01.260 --> 00:56:13.239
Getting back to the research here, this trend moves away from the isolated swipe based dating apps and towards building connections in real world settings.

00:56:13.239 --> 00:56:21.998
It's surprising because it reintroduces the idea of dating within a broader social context, something that's been missing in recent years.

00:56:21.998 --> 00:56:34.420
With this trend, dating becomes less about finding a partner and more about finding a connection with someone who shares your values and interests in a more natural, organic way.

00:56:34.420 --> 00:56:56.338
We've been talking about this since the beginning of time on this podcast If you go all the way back to episode 32, 33, talking about those shared values, those mutual interests, and when those things are organic, you're not forcing them, you're being honest, you're not trying to impress somebody You're genuinely invested and interested in the same things.

00:56:56.338 --> 00:57:05.681
It also adds a layer of support, as meeting someone through shared community activities can provide a built-in network of mutual friends and interests.

00:57:05.681 --> 00:57:17.621
If you're thinking about it, if you're going out and you're doing things that you like to do, getting active in areas of the community that you actually appreciate, you are going to number one you probably already have friends that are doing those same things.

00:57:17.621 --> 00:57:23.039
Number two if you don't, you're going to be making those friends and they become mutual friends of that relationship.

00:57:23.039 --> 00:57:28.342
So you have a safety net to kind of help the both of you go through the ebbs and flows of a new relationship.

00:57:29.331 --> 00:57:31.864
Ultimately, 2025 is all about purposeful connections.

00:57:31.864 --> 00:57:32.969
I love that, purposeful connections.

00:57:32.969 --> 00:57:43.994
I love that, as people are truly tired of the rut dating apps have created.

00:57:43.994 --> 00:57:49.195
In 2025, predicting dating will become more intentional because people seeking authentic connections rather than swiping mindlessly.

00:57:49.195 --> 00:57:55.893
We're moving into a phase where emotional intelligence and vulnerability are the new finance.

00:57:55.893 --> 00:57:59.530
Six foot five blue-eyed blonde dudes right, Everybody.

00:57:59.530 --> 00:58:00.853
What's your dream guy?

00:58:00.853 --> 00:58:01.516
It's Ken.

00:58:01.516 --> 00:58:03.782
It's Barbie and Ken that's what my dream is.

00:58:03.782 --> 00:58:14.501
We're going to move away from that and more into emotional intelligence and vulnerability, and daters will prioritize depth over superficial thrill matching.

00:58:14.501 --> 00:58:17.769
This shift in dating depth over superficial thrill matching.

00:58:17.769 --> 00:58:25.606
This shift in dating is vastly different than the quickly swiping left and right, because meaningful conversations and slower courtships are so.

00:58:25.967 --> 00:58:39.092
In this year, another trend that the doctor believes will be big in 2025 coincides with this intentional dating trend, and that is caring about mental health intentional dating trend and that is caring about mental health.

00:58:39.092 --> 00:58:43.402
Again, going back to our episodes where I think it was 32, that was literally talking about self-care.

00:58:43.402 --> 00:58:45.634
You have to love yourself, you have to be comfortable with yourself.

00:58:45.634 --> 00:58:47.900
This really goes right in hand with this research.

00:58:47.900 --> 00:58:48.081
Here.

00:58:48.081 --> 00:58:54.034
More people are going to therapy, working on themselves and bringing the self-awareness into their dating lives.

00:58:54.034 --> 00:59:01.920
It's exciting to see a generation of daters who are ready to prioritize healthy, fulfilling relationships over traditional rush.

00:59:02.201 --> 00:59:17.253
To cover up, I know I kind of ran through that article, but so much of that is what you and me have been talking about for years Meaningful conversations, authentic connections, purposeful connections, connections, purposeful connections, core values, shared values.

00:59:17.253 --> 00:59:19.233
It's good news for everybody.

00:59:19.233 --> 00:59:25.974
It seems like America is moving away from the social media dating app nonsense.

00:59:25.974 --> 00:59:31.797
I understand there's people and we probably know some people that met online, I'm sure.

00:59:31.797 --> 00:59:39.719
But in all honesty, getting back to the old-fashioned way of going out and having conversations and doing things and being happy and seeing people.

00:59:39.719 --> 00:59:43.420
Like not too long ago, we were all living in our freaking house.

00:59:43.420 --> 00:59:48.822
People had to be on dating apps, right, we weren't allowed to socialize, we had to be in masks.

00:59:48.822 --> 00:59:55.724
I couldn't imagine trying to meet somebody in 2020, right, could you imagine going out and doing that nonsense?

00:59:55.724 --> 01:00:06.226
Like you think somebody looks pretty interesting from the forehead to the bridge of the nose and then when they pull that mask off and they get two bicuspids you know what I mean.

01:00:06.467 --> 01:00:07.867
Better off keeping the mask on.

01:00:08.588 --> 01:00:14.048
So to all those single Pringles out there that we've been telling you listen, prioritize these things.

01:00:14.048 --> 01:00:15.460
These are what's important to you.

01:00:15.460 --> 01:00:21.601
The good doctor is coming to you, the good doctors coming to you with some good gospel to tell you people are falling suit.

01:00:21.601 --> 01:00:24.675
Man, you can start to get off of the dating apps.

01:00:24.675 --> 01:00:27.581
Listen, if you like it and you want it, that's fine.

01:00:27.581 --> 01:00:44.295
But I'm telling you, if you spend endless hours scrolling TikTok and Instagram and the book face and what other other freaking app you want to be on, eventually you just get hyper focused on scrolling and scrolling and scrolling, searching for dopamine, getting nothing out of it.

01:00:44.295 --> 01:00:48.677
That is going to trickle over to the freaking dating app scenario too.

01:00:48.717 --> 01:00:56.318
I can imagine somebody sitting on the couch swiping right and left and up and down whatever freaking way you have to swipe on a goddamn dating app.

01:00:56.318 --> 01:01:06.672
I can imagine somebody sitting on their couch scrolling through dating apps just as fast as you scroll through TikTok or I scroll through sports information At some point.

01:01:06.672 --> 01:01:07.998
There's no connection.

01:01:07.998 --> 01:01:09.775
There's nothing meaningful.

01:01:09.775 --> 01:01:14.875
You're just looking at freaking, a filter-fueled, fake life.

01:01:14.875 --> 01:01:22.396
Get off the couch, go outside, join a group, pick up a racket and play some pickleball I don't freaking know.

01:01:22.396 --> 01:01:24.739
Get out there and do some shit that makes you happy.

01:01:24.739 --> 01:01:28.402
When you're happy, you're more likely to find somebody that's happy.

01:01:28.402 --> 01:01:31.284
When you're happy, you're more likely to receive your gifts.

01:01:31.284 --> 01:01:41.344
And when you're doing things that you love to do and you're being happy and doing those things, the likelihood of you finding somebody that loves the same shit as you, it goes up tremendously.

01:01:41.344 --> 01:01:46.822
That is my tip and trick for you if you're single in 2025.

01:01:46.822 --> 01:01:51.407
What do you and the prom queen over there have to add to that little rant we just went on?

01:01:51.447 --> 01:01:52.170
What do you have to add?

01:01:52.170 --> 01:02:10.250
Well, I mean, we wanted to chime in a few times, but you were just ranting on, so we just waited our turn well then, give me something good you talk about going out into the community and doing things, um, and I think you mentioned something about getting out of your comfort zone.

01:02:11.130 --> 01:02:19.045
Um, and that was a prime uh opportunity for for me when I came to the dealership and met you.

01:02:19.045 --> 01:02:24.512
I had never been to the dealership number one, didn't know anything about a wet t-shirt contest Like those.

01:02:24.512 --> 01:02:31.641
Things were like out of my comfort zone, but it was like getting out into the community and exploring.

01:02:32.003 --> 01:02:34.213
Right, try new things.

01:02:34.275 --> 01:02:51.902
Man, get out there and try new things and you might be surprised who and what you find and what you like you know and then I have a funny story, um about um, you'll meet the person that you, that you're supposed to be with, or that share interest.

01:02:51.902 --> 01:03:01.132
Um, back in the day, when, uh, my brother was with me, this boy would eat, breathe and sleep basketball.

01:03:01.132 --> 01:03:06.936
And I kept telling him all the time, every single day boy, you got to get off the basketball court to meet a girl.

01:03:06.936 --> 01:03:09.025
You got to get off the basketball court.

01:03:09.025 --> 01:03:11.070
You're never going to meet a girl.

01:03:11.070 --> 01:03:13.534
You're playing with a bunch of sweaty dudes.

01:03:13.534 --> 01:03:15.217
You're never going to meet a girl.

01:03:15.217 --> 01:03:16.139
You're playing with a bunch of sweaty dudes.

01:03:16.139 --> 01:03:16.880
You're never going to meet a girl.

01:03:16.880 --> 01:03:19.864
Well, lo and behold, who walks onto the basketball court.

01:03:24.750 --> 01:03:25.858
No other than his beautiful wife, girlfriend Danny.

01:03:25.858 --> 01:03:27.126
Hey Mary, yeah, you're putting the pressure on him right now.

01:03:27.148 --> 01:03:28.494
Hey, listen Baby mama right now.

01:03:28.494 --> 01:03:29.297
Baby mama.

01:03:29.396 --> 01:03:29.958
Baby mama.

01:03:30.809 --> 01:03:34.880
Danny and they have a beautiful baby and living the life.

01:03:34.880 --> 01:03:35.762
And guess what?

01:03:35.762 --> 01:03:37.655
He met her on the basketball court.

01:03:37.675 --> 01:03:40.215
That's what I'm saying Do things that you love.

01:03:40.215 --> 01:03:42.742
It gets you out of the house, it makes you happier.

01:03:42.742 --> 01:03:52.199
We're living in crazy times right now and the more you can submerge yourself into things that you love, number one, it's going to result in you being happier.

01:03:52.199 --> 01:04:06.322
And, number two, if you're out in the community doing those things, you might find somebody, just like Zach and Danny, that are into those mutual things and, like you said, try new things, get out there and explore new things.

01:04:06.322 --> 01:04:07.746
They talk about moving forward.

01:04:07.847 --> 01:04:11.117
The real trends in dating are like this person's a matchmaker.

01:04:11.117 --> 01:04:20.579
She's saying it comes down to like a matchmaker and these activities so like for us, if you think, for instance, we've put some couples together.

01:04:20.579 --> 01:04:22.326
We've played matchmaker before.

01:04:22.326 --> 01:04:24.634
I got a couple marriages under my belt.

01:04:24.634 --> 01:04:32.036
I've got children under my belt from relationship connections right From putting things together, putting people in the right place.

01:04:32.577 --> 01:04:43.539
Sometimes we've been given credit for relationship connections when, ultimately, all you and me did is what we always do and that was create an environment.

01:04:43.539 --> 01:04:52.275
We threw a party, we had a reason and people that know us, that love us, came out to support us and the next thing you know they're going home with each other.

01:04:52.275 --> 01:04:53.056
You know what I mean.

01:04:53.056 --> 01:04:54.880
It happens.

01:04:54.880 --> 01:05:00.032
So if you're not paying for a matchmaker, you don't have a matchmaker.

01:05:00.032 --> 01:05:07.141
There might be somebody in your life that's close to you that becomes a matchmaker and they're not even intending to.

01:05:07.141 --> 01:05:07.864
You know what I mean.

01:05:07.864 --> 01:05:13.757
Like we've been matchmakers without any intention of being matchmakers and sometimes I've done it intentionally.

01:05:13.757 --> 01:05:16.722
Dave and Alicia, I intentionally made that happen.

01:05:16.722 --> 01:05:18.244
That's funny.

01:05:18.244 --> 01:05:48.601
Side note Now to wrap up this whole little relationship hoopla ditty that we've embarked on today, I'm going to take this episode and all these little fun-filled things and I'm going to connect something I heard on the news earlier today when I was watching President Trump and Elon Musk have a little press conference, little business soiree, szechuan Q&A.

01:05:49.809 --> 01:05:56.255
Elon Musk made a statement about building trust about him.

01:05:56.255 --> 01:06:01.076
You know how can we trust you and Doge with this new endeavor that you're on?

01:06:01.076 --> 01:06:03.625
And he literally said transparency.

01:06:03.625 --> 01:06:05.871
Anything and everything I'm doing you can see.

01:06:05.871 --> 01:06:08.237
You can see anything that I'm doing.

01:06:08.237 --> 01:06:11.311
We report every single thing I do to X and to our website.

01:06:11.311 --> 01:06:16.157
But he went on to say you don't demand trust.

01:06:16.157 --> 01:06:19.001
Trust takes transparency.

01:06:19.001 --> 01:06:36.762
You get trust from transparency and I understand absolutely what he was saying in the sense of the business logic, the political logic that he was saying, but I think his words ring so true and they go on into anything and everything you do.

01:06:37.003 --> 01:06:48.179
If we're thinking and talking about relationships like we are today, if you want your significant other or your potential partner to trust you, it starts with transparency.

01:06:48.179 --> 01:07:00.275
Trust takes transparency the moment that you're not scared of your phone being right side up, you're not hiding things, you're not, you know, just packing things away.

01:07:00.275 --> 01:07:08.438
The moment that you're comfortable and you can just live and live your life and you're willing to share all aspects of your life.

01:07:08.438 --> 01:07:10.784
You are transparent.

01:07:10.784 --> 01:07:11.731
You're vulnerable.

01:07:11.731 --> 01:07:13.114
You're transparent.

01:07:13.114 --> 01:07:16.882
You're sharing and showing and doing all things you.

01:07:16.882 --> 01:07:19.092
You're not being fake, you're authentic.

01:07:19.092 --> 01:07:20.516
Every layer of your life.

01:07:20.516 --> 01:07:23.103
Transparency in every layer of your life.

01:07:23.103 --> 01:07:25.878
That is going to breed trust.

01:07:26.340 --> 01:07:34.851
If you're meeting somebody, you're about to start a new relationship, or maybe you've been married and you find your guys are starting to get at each other a little bit, think about it.

01:07:34.851 --> 01:07:34.971
Trust.

01:07:34.971 --> 01:07:36.532
If you want to get to get at each other a little bit, think about it.

01:07:36.532 --> 01:07:36.811
Trust.

01:07:36.811 --> 01:07:41.135
If you want to get back to trusting each other, it takes transparency.

01:07:41.135 --> 01:07:46.059
I learned that today from the news Shout out Elon Musk.

01:07:46.059 --> 01:07:48.101
I heard that and I instantly wrote it down.

01:07:48.101 --> 01:07:49.884
I was like that's beautiful.

01:07:49.903 --> 01:07:50.684
I love it, that's good.

01:07:52.085 --> 01:07:52.606
Do you trust me?

01:07:53.567 --> 01:07:54.286
Do I trust you?

01:07:54.286 --> 01:07:56.210
Depends on the situation I'm going to kick your.

01:07:56.210 --> 01:07:56.532
Do you trust me?

01:07:56.532 --> 01:07:57.914
Do I trust you Depends on the situation I'm going to kick your ass.

01:07:57.914 --> 01:08:01.057
Do I trust you not to get your tractor stuck and not to wreck?

01:08:01.077 --> 01:08:01.338
your bumper.

01:08:01.338 --> 01:08:03.320
That's about enough of today's show.

01:08:03.320 --> 01:08:03.800
No.

01:08:03.942 --> 01:08:08.351
I do not Do I trust you in our relationship 110%.

01:08:08.371 --> 01:08:16.070
You're going to trust me to blister your hind end right now, as we're going off the air, that you can book it and cook it.

01:08:16.292 --> 01:08:18.894
Wow, you're going to show me some attention, you're going to touch me.

01:08:19.873 --> 01:08:21.956
Okay, this is getting a little aggressive.

01:08:21.956 --> 01:08:23.417
Happy Valentine's Day everybody.

01:08:24.297 --> 01:08:30.002
Happy Valentine's Day y'all, Thank you for supporting our American dream.

01:08:30.462 --> 01:08:32.984
Now go wash your fucking hands.

01:08:33.005 --> 01:08:34.206
Your filthy hands.

01:08:34.426 --> 01:08:42.402
You filthy savage, you fucking savage that's it and that's all Biggie Smalls.

01:08:42.402 --> 01:09:08.899
If you're a loud, proud American and you find yourself just wanting more, find me on YouTube and Facebook at loud, proud American Put a face page, as my mama calls it.

01:09:08.899 --> 01:09:12.280
If you're a fan of the Graham Cracker, want to find me on Instagram.

01:09:12.280 --> 01:09:16.152
Or all the kids are tickety-talking on the TikTok Instagram, or all the kids at Tickety Talkin' on the TikTok.

01:09:16.152 --> 01:09:23.798
You can find me on both of those at loud, underscore, proud, underscore, american.

01:09:23.798 --> 01:09:39.822
A big old thank you to the boys from the Gut Truckers for the background beats and the theme song to this year's podcast.

01:09:39.822 --> 01:09:44.458
If you are enjoying what you're hearing, you can track down the Gut Truckers on Facebook.

01:09:44.458 --> 01:09:46.036
Just search Gut Truckers.

01:09:46.036 --> 01:10:08.746
Give them motherfuckers a like too.

01:10:08.746 --> 01:10:11.587
I truly thank you for supporting my American dream.

01:10:11.587 --> 01:10:14.398
Now go wash your fucking hands, you filthy savage.

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