Transcript
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Whether we realize it or not, we crave instant gratification, but our biggest dreams are often at the end of the longest road, roads not just filled with twist turns, ups and downs, but riddled with sacrifices, hard work and heartache as we travel down the road less traveled.
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It's critical to celebrate milestones when they happen.
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So today, on episode 230 of Share, the Struggle podcast, we stop to celebrate a milestone moment for loud, proud Americans.
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Let me tell you something.
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Everybody struggles.
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The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it.
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The choice is completely yours.
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Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.
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If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you.
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Do you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations?
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Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you.
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When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense.
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Most disagreements, they stem from our own insecurities.
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You are right where you need to be.
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I'm falling behind Too fast and way too fast.
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Check, check, check.
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One, two, one, two.
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Hello, hello, Hello to you.
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Go for it.
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Hello, is this thing on Hello, hello?
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Can you hear me?
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Hello?
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Hello oh hello, hello to you, hello to you, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello to you, hello to you, hello, hello, hello, hello To you, to you, to you and you.
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Ah, you and you, from me and you, hello to you.
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This is the hello song.
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This is the hello song.
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The hello song.
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When is the hello song?
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The hello song when you turn your microphone on.
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Ooh, ooh, ooh, what it do, what it do, what it hot and diggity do.
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Good Lord, am I so excited to be back with you?
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I just can't hide it, even though we started this show a little bit different today, because we were doing our little microphone check and I felt like we encountered something beautiful, dear you mean you left that in there?
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Yeah, oh heavens.
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Oh, it's beautiful.
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They're going to tell me to keep my day job, it is catchy it is trendy.
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It is trendy, it is scrumptious, that little ditty we just came up with.
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I didn't even do my vocal warm-ups.
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You should have warmed up your vocals.
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Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
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I aged you to the high notes.
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I got them for you this time.
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You did too.
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You nailed them, you crushed them.
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I'm glad we saved it, because I thought it was Microphone Guild Right there.
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Okay.
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Mic drop.
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I'm not dropping this one.
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No, don't do that, don't do it Too expensive.
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Well, here we are, reunited, and it feels so good, me and you, babe, this time around it's been me and you for the last 10 years, 11.
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I understand that, but not for the last few weeks on the podcast.
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I've been flying solo show over here.
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Yeah, that's right.
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Solo Joe on a solo show.
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Mm-hmm.
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Not to be confused with solo Sokoa.
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Mm-hmm.
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This one's actually kind of fun because as we're recording, we rearrange the feng shui in the house.
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Yeah, now you're just staring at me like a weirdo.
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It's awkward, it's beautiful, it's romantic.
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It's uncomfortable.
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It's very.
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It's romantic, it's uncomfortable.
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It's very uncomfortable because he keeps staring at me.
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That's what people do when they have conversation.
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They look at each other.
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I'm just going to stare at the baby.
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You would anyways.
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Who's sleeping peacefully?
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I'm going to gaze at the rotating Christmas tree instead then, like the baby does.
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True.
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Anyway, we have rearranged, fan-dangled and who's-a-hangled the living room to squeeze in the old Christmas tree, and while doing so we have rearranged the couches, so they're now facing each other.
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This feels like a studio performance right now.
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It actually kind of, does You're?
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Not wrong yeah.
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I feel like we should do an episode like a couch sessions episode, like maybe like a you know double couple scenario here, something you know what I mean.
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We have room here.
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We have room for activities and for endless possibilities when it comes to a studio show.
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I don't know how to break this to you, but we have to have friends first.
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Not a lot of people like us.
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No.
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Not a lot of people like us.
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It is what it is.
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I think we just.
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Smell bad?
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No, we just keep our circle very small, like we have a lot of friends, don't get me wrong, but we keep our circle.
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Who you allow in your personal business?
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Okay.
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Very small Does that make?
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sense.
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What you're trying to say on a technical side is we keep our areolas tight.
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That's sweet, yeah, no.
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I think I sort of myself the big nipple.
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You know what I mean.
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Oh my God, I'm in the center of the areola.
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No, but I'm just saying, like you have like friends that know like what's going on in your life and like that are like what you're saying is people don't come over that's what you're saying.
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Forget it.
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No, I'm not forgetting it, you spell it out for me we have all kinds of friends.
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What you're saying is at the end of the day, we're antisocial no and nobody comes over, that's what you're saying to me.
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Think of an onion, okay oh, I think of the onion all the time.
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I'm gonna peel the onion the center of the onion is the core right.
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Those are your core friendships, the ones that like know you what you have for breakfast, your baby's sick Stinky core of the onion.
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Okay, I quit.
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I'm literally trying to understand you.
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I'm gathering with you?
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No, you're not I want to be in the center of your onion, talk to me, I'm the stinky one.
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The friends that we keep closest the center, the core of the onion, they have to be, by default, the stinkiest.
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That's all I'm saying.
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No, if you smell your child right now, she is stinky.
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No, she's not.
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She smells like cocoa butter.
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That's it.
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She doesn't stink.
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She smells like sweaty coconuts.
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Oh my God, whatever, get on with your show.
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You're procrastinating.
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I'm not procrastinating.
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I was giving you an open dance floor here to explain to me what you're talking about, because you lost me in Helsinki.
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Mm-hmm, it's gone.
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Wow.
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Well, folks, welcome to the couple Szechuan portion of the show where we call the therapist for help.
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Good, Lord, I don't even know what the meaning of today's show was now I've lost it.
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I've lost the milestones.
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They've turned into kidney stones.
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See Y'all?
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It's a good thing I have one child, because after today's episode there won't be room for two.
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It's a good thing I have one child, because after today's episode there won't be room for two.
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When I said room, I actually said it as a womb.
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There won't be womb for two.
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Wow, this gets even more uncomfortable Now that I think about it.
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The couches facing each other horrible idea, absolutely horrible idea.
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This was your idea.
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No, this wasn't this couch scenario was your idea.
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No, this wasn't this couch scenario was your idea.
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But we're losing the people.
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They don't.
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They don't want to hear you just belittle me.
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They want to hear an actual episode of positivity the people are waiting.
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What are they waiting for, Dia?
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You.
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They're waiting to celebrate.
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They're waiting to celebrate with us.
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Yeah, let's get on with it, let's get on with it.
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Okay, as I was trying to say when we opened the show first off, I started off the total freaking episode with two words, two little words that are so difficult to put together Weather, and we, oh my God did, to put together Whether, and we oh my God, did I have some difficulty, whether we, whether we, whether we, whether we, we wise.
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It's so difficult, whether we, we wise it or not?
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We wave instant gratification, whether we we wise it or not.
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When I wrote down the little show opening, I never thought I would encounter so much difficulty on two words.
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But the point I'm trying to make here, beyond my procrastination, is that our biggest dreams, our biggest you know hopes and goals and aspirations they often take the longest to attain, even though that we are just always craving instant gratification.
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We're always looking for that like button, the old heart emoji.
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Right, we don't want to work for things, we want that instant shot of dopamine.
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But the truth is, the things in life that you really crave in life, the things that you want most in life, they take the most work in life.
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They take the most sacrifice in life.
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They take the most sacrifice in life.
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Look at that little peanut you're holding right now.
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You got to wait nine months just to open that shell.
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You know what I mean.
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That takes some time right there, and then you have a whole future, the rest of your life, ahead of you, full of heartache and sacrifice, but joy and excitement they all get mixed into one.
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So I feel like that little anchovy you're sitting with right there, that little sweet, did you just call her stinky again?
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Well, I'm just saying I was downwind of a heater a little while ago.
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That's all I'm saying.
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But the point I'm making here is that the things that we cherish most, the things that we enjoy, that we love, that we look forward to, that, we hope to have, that we want to enjoy, to appreciate, they come with a lot of sacrifice, they come with a lot of heartache, and I'm saying all this to connect it to a business.
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And as we seek instant gratification, I feel like there's some things that have happened in this world over the past and I'm sure they've been going on forever, been going on forever, but over the past 10 years, I think, with social media and how quickly we can achieve and attain things, something fundamentally has changed in our wiring where we need things.
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Now we live in a society with zero patience, like it needs to happen now or I'm over it, and then when we achieve things, when we reach things, we often just forget about those things and disregard things.
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What are you smiling at over there?
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Oh, I was just thinking about that lady that was behind me at the light there you go.
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There's an analogy for you.
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Literally, I was waiting at a light, waiting to turn.
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It was a green light and I'm waiting for the green arrow to turn onto my work road, which I go to every day multiple times.
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I know how the light works.
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And I looked down at my hand, at a hive on my hand, for less than three seconds, not even kidding Looked down at my hand, checked on the hive and literally this lady beeped at me and I, like, whipped my head around and I looked at her and if I have any sort of gratification, is that the word I'm looking for?
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I'm not sure, keep going.
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I enjoy being petty.
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Yes, I enjoy being petty.
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Well, I'm glad you're here to do the best here.
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If you want to beep at me, I'm going to show you petty.
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I was certain to wait 10 seconds before making my turn after she beeped at me, and then the speed limit on my road was 25 and I made sure to go 23.
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Okay, okay, the motto to my life is F-A-F-fo, and I will be certain to show you the slogan of my life I feel, like around and find out if I was just hovering over this situation, like looking in the sunroof.
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You're looking at the hive, she beeps the horn, you look in the in the mirror and then you give her, her the glazed stare of death.
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You prolong the movement of the car.
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And in my mind, I see and hear you, you look at the lady and then all I can envision is like the song from Lizzo hits.
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That's like I throw my hair back and check my nails.
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What's that song?
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What are those lyrics?
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I play this song all the time when we're DJing Hair tossed, check my nails Little, little, little little.
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Feel good as hell.
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That's it Instantly.
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You went from.
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Instead of just moving along through traffic, let me just toss my hair back, let me check my nails.
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I'm feeling good as hell.
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I'm going to take my sweet ass time and you're going to be late for whatever it is you're beeping for.
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That's what I envisioned right there?
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Not really.
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I throw my hair, check my nails, something like that.
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I don't know.
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I'm feeling good as hell, you know what I mean.
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I was coming back from lunch and I, literally you, were feeling good as hell I was, and I was just, you know, going back from lunch and this lady behind me who was like impatient I'm going to tell you this right now the light had changed that, even if I was paying attention, I didn't have enough time to take my foot off the brake and hit the gas before she beeped at me my Weflexes I have no Weflexes I was like, and I looked up and she's throwing her hands in the air and I was like man, pull into my parking lot.
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I swear to God, I will pull you out of this car and dust the brakes off your four eyes.
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That's how I'm feeling, petty, let's get back to the point we were making here.
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That's just a classic example of people lacking patience.
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Yeah.
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Everybody wants things right now.
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Give me a second.
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Right freaking now?
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Let me try.
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I think, with social media and all these things, things happening instantly.
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Nobody writes letters, no more.
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You know what I'm saying.
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Things need to happen now.
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I ain't got time to pick up the phone.
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I'm going to text your ass.
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I don't have time for this.
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People want things now.
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Another thing that's happened is, over the past few years, everybody owns a business, everybody's an entrepreneur.
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There's so many people that are just like what do you do?
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I'm an entrepreneur, that's what I do.
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I'm an entrepreneur, I own this, I start that, I do this.
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You know what I mean?
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I run businesses.
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I feel like there was a big rise in that over COVID stuff, but a lot of things that you see out there are like social media influences, right.
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There's so many people that are like I'm an influencer, I'm a life coach, like those things happened and they've gone.
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Just triple down on those, all right.
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So everybody owns their own business, everybody's an entrepreneur, they're a life coach, they're a, they're an influencer, and everything has to happen instantly.
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That's something that I feel like we're just so surrounded by.
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When I was growing up, there was only a handful of people that I feel like that I knew that were business owners.
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You know what I'm saying.
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Now, everybody in your circle owns a business, right?
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Yeah, of some sort.
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So it's just so much, just crazy to me how that is just one of the things that seems to be so common right now.
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So, as we're talking about these the quest for instant gratification of being a business owner what I'm making for a connection here is those two things don't happen.
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They don't go together.
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You can have instant gratification in starting a business, but instant gratification isn't going to keep you in business, because you have to play the long game.
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Patience, like a fortune cookie, is a virtue, right?
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We've been hearing that in fortune cookies for a frigging entire life.
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Right, that's like the most popular fortune cookie ever written.
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But patience attracts happiness.
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It brings near that, which is far.
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So, when we're talking about that long ass road that has that big ass goal at the end of it, you need to be patient and you can't sit on your hands and do nothing about it, but you need to possess a little patience.
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Instant gratification, I think, is like the antichrist to being a small business owner.
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And I'm saying all these things and I'm talking about them because, as I said, to open the show when you hit a milestone, when you're on one of these long ass, windy, bumpy, unpaved roads that possesses all kinds of sacrifice and heartache and hard work.
