Transcript
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Today on Share the Struggle Podcast, it's Alli's turn to share her struggle.
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How has she handled not working for the first time since her teenage years, and what exactly was it like leaving Little Paisley for the first time when she returned back to work?
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All that and more on episode 225 of Share the Struggle Podcast.
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Let me tell you something Everybody struggles.
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On episode 225 of a Share the Struggle podcast, let me tell you something Everybody struggles.
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The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it.
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The choice is completely yours.
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Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.
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If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you.
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Do you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations?
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Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you.
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When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense.
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Most disagreements they stem from our own insecurities.
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You are right where you need to be.
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Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
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What it do, what it hot diggity do.
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Good Lord, am I so excited to be back with you?
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Oh, it's true, it's damn true.
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Episode 225 of that podcast, proudly sponsored by Loud Proud American, precisely, perfectly beautifully named Share the Struggle Podcast, because everybody struggles.
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And this week, on Share the struggle podcast, we're gonna mix it up a little bit and I'm gonna have me wifey join me and share her recent struggles, you with me over there.
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I'm here, you better be here, because I set you up, I volley for serve, I pop that baby up, just waiting for you to spike it home.
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Trick me.
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None of that makes sense.
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Actually, I'm sleep deprived.
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Board games and beach games are two totally different scenarios.
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So let's get things rocking and rolling.
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We're going to turn this over to you and let you explore the space.
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Get you talking a little bit, okay.
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Oh boy, no, pressure you ready for this.
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No, I did not prepare for this.
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I thought that you were ready.
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We discussed it.
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I thought you were ready to rock and roll.
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Discussing and doing are two totally different things, two major different things.
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Let's start off.
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We're going to kind of go in order here a little bit.
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Let's start off with the fact that since as long as I've known you, other than the like week or two weeks where both of us were unemployed, trying, to figure out our lives, yeah you have had at least one job.
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I would almost say you've had at least two jobs the entire time that.
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Um, I've actually known you and I would say when we first met you had like four jobs yep, so sun up to sundown you when did you start working?
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when did your working career begin?
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I think I I was was babysitting at like 13, 14.
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13, 14, you were babysitting.
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Yeah, cousins, and stuff.
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You basically ended up on your own when you were what?
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16?
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17.
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17.
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So at age 17, give me a little scenario for the people seeing.
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So I already know, but you started babysitting, doing those things, at age 13.
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By age 17, you were doing what?
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I was working multiple jobs.
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I can.
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I'm trying to think Um.
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I was working.
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I know I was mucking.
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Mucking stalls, that was one thing for certain.
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I know I was mucking stalls, that was one thing for certain.
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I was a nanny to two newborn twins.
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That was like a live-in situation.
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right after my mom passed away, didn't you start working on track bedding stuff?
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Yep, on track betting stuff.
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Yep, I was doing that um a little bit before.
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Um my, I think it was like yeah, you're right I.
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I remember you pedaling a bike back and forth to work yes, at scarborough downs and you were, you living like in a motel down the street there or something.
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Yeah, down the street man, it's a good thing that I pay attention to your life, because clearly you don't.
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my life has just been a shit show.
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I try to just blind it out you clearly don't remember your history here, but thankfully this guy over here.
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Thankfully you were there.
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Boner points because I just awarded myself some real, real boner points for knowing your story better than you do.
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Yeah, but this isn't about me sharing your story.
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This is about you sharing your story.
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So well, you were asking for the summary, so I was trying to get all my details in ducks in a row so um.
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So yes, you are correct.
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As soon as my mom passed away, I was living in a motel um, and that happened before I was um the live-in nanny.
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So that's how that's the breakdown.
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So I was doing some off-track bedding for Scarborough Downs and that was actually really fun.
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I enjoyed that and also, you know, mucking stalls for the barn, just making any kind of money that I could, because I had to make ends meet.
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I had to pay for my motel.
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Grand Slam New York Yankees For the love of God.
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Grand Salami.
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I would normally be going berserko right now.
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I would be Captain Insano right now.
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Berserko right now.
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I would be Captain Insano right now.
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But the good guys are down three games to none.
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We got to win four in a row to not get pushed out of here and I don't really feel like it's possible.
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I am riding a miserable sports streak right now, which is part of the reason why the wife's taking over today, because I don't have the mental emotional capacity after the whirlwind of dog shit that I've been living in my sports world right now.
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But thankfully, my child loves baseball and she doesn't know that we're losing.
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Look at her little eyeballs, right now, yeah, she's watching, she's still glued on it.
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She was like Daddy little grand salami over there.
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All right, all distractions aside, you were 17 years old, living in a motel, riding a pedal bike back and forth to work, with not just any work, it's betting, betting on horse races.
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Yeah, bedding, it's what is it Bedding on horse races?
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Yeah, it was horse racing.
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What is that?
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Is it on Simulcast?
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Simulcast.
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Thank you, yeah, and then you were mucking stalls and doing this and that.
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That transitioned to you being a live-in nanny, taking care of newborn twins.
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But the point I'm trying to make here is at age 13, you were babysitting and doing all those things.
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At age 17, you were living on your own in a motel, working multiple jobs at age 17.
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You, since age 17, have never had the amount of time off that you've had off right now.
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Yeah, Since that time I have not slowed down.
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You have basically always had two jobs since the time that we've been together.
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Like you'll have one 40 hour uh you know a week job and then you'll have a part-time job going on.
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And uh, when we first started dating, you were working like three, four jobs.
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You were at an elementary school or something.
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Two times a day.
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Two times a day.
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Morning and night.
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You worked at what?
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was that.
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Huh, the Pier.
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I think you finished up that when.
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I first met you, you were like bartending in Bitterford.
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right after we met, or before we met, you were working at the TJ Maxx.
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You were doing all kinds of random things.
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Then I was at Saco Bay during the day.
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That was my 40-hour week.
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Yeah.
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All this just to kind of make ends meet, to get by.
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Yeah, because I was living on my own, paying my own rent, paying my car payment, doing all the things.
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What was I when we got together?
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I was freshly 21,.
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Working four jobs.
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Think about that Freshly 21.
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Now you're, how old do you old exactly?
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You said it, not me, but we're really establishing the fact that up until the weekend before little paisley rain arrived, you've never had a straight two weeks off no you know, we might have done like vacations where you're like oh, we're gonna travel and you have a week off for us, but I'm going back to work.
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I know that I'm like yeah but even then, like it's a, it's a week, right, we're flying somewhere, we're driving somewhere.
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It's not a couple of weeks.
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So you have um been out of work since um 1st Paisley arrived, so it must have been August 28th or something.
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It was the last time you worked, right.
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Yeah, summer's around there.
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Yeah, it was Friday, and then I had her on Sunday.
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And we're almost into November.
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Yeah, my maternity leave went Labor Day.
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To what Veterans?
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Day.
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Not even planned, it just happened.
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So, with all of that said, it's not like we've been not busy right.
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It's not like you really haven't been not working because, as everybody knows, it's been listening to the show.
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We took a newborn to the Freiburg Fair and handled all that.
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So it's not like you've been sitting on your hands but you haven't been punching a clock for somebody else.
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You haven't been at the office.
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What's this time been like for you?
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Oh my gosh, it's tricky.
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I'm loving every minute of spending time with Paisley and bonding and doing all of that, but, good Lord, I need some structure in my life.
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Like I mean, we have structure-ish kind of.
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Like you know, we go by the baby's structure.
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The baby's structure has interrupted everybody's situation, you being home and the baby controlling our lives.
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My structure is also a turd and I work here, yeah.
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Yeah, it's definitely hard.
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I, like we said, I've been working multiple jobs for so long that I've always had like, all right, this is a schedule, like you're going to do this from this time to this time, then you're're gonna do this from this time to this time, then you're gonna do this from this time to this time, and then in between there you might have a snack and go do the barn chores, like there's always been like a structure, so like to wake up when the baby needs needs me to feed the baby, like everything is surrounded by her.
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Sure, that's structure, ish, but it's, it's chaos, chaotic structure.
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Yeah, I'm gonna throw this out there to you just so that you know why not.
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Why not just put my own um struggle and emotions on the table here, right, why not?
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okay over the past two months or so, however long.
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This is because I can't do math.
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I'm well, she's two months old now.
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So, bingo, there you go.
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Over the past two months or so, however long, this is because I can't do math.
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Well, she's two months old now.
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Bingo, there you go.
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Over the past two months minus like her schedule.
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You are experiencing how difficult it is to work from home.
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Yeah, your Honor, do you have any newfound respect for me being productive working from home, with all the chaos that happens?
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Because I will say, over the past two months, I have not been as productive as I normally am.
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When there's nobody like when I'm not taking care of a newborn, and you're not home, it's a lot more comfortable to sit on the couch when your wife's home than it is when nobody else is home.
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You know what I mean.
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But even then, just, I'm not saying that we're sitting on the couch doing nothing, but do you have a newfound respect for the amount of struggle it takes to be productive working from home?
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Yeah.
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That didn't sound confident.
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What are you gonna say?
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Uh, nothing I.
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I think that it does take like with the newborn, it does take a lot to get up and find uh productivity I think what I'm getting at is try being home and then having all the requests hey, can you do this, can you do that?
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Can you bring me here, can you?
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do this.
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Can you go here?
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Can you do this now?
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Yeah, I got you.
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How difficult is it to accomplish what you've been working on?
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Yeah, if you're trying to do something, yeah, you have all these projects.
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How difficult is it for you to do those projects working from home, when everybody else is asking you to do something?
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Yeah, it's, definitely tricky.
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I would like some damn respect put on my name for the struggles that I go through in this household on a daily basis, trying to work from home.
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That's what I'm looking for right now Nothing, I get, no respect.
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Oh, get a grip, I feel like Rodney Dangerfield over here.
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That's not the truth at all.
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I just thought maybe, after a couple months of suffering, realizing how difficult it is to be productive from home, you would say wow, my husband, wow, something really nice.
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My husband's looking for a card in a balloon, something really nice, I was thinking about a little something more south of the Mason-Dixon.
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You know what I mean.
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Yeah, I gave you a baby out of my home.
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Whoa, hey, wow, that's south of the Mason-Dixon line.
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I was talking about my Mason.
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Oh, you weren't specific.
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Yeah, okay.
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Well, this didn't accomplish anything that I wanted to accomplish.
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Yes, I gave you props.
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And whatever, toot your own horn, make the head between your legs grow.
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It's not about me anymore, I'm over it.
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I'm over it.
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It's not about me anymore.
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For you being home.
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How's it been?
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You go into this time completely optimistic about all the things you're going to accomplish and get done.
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How's that been?
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Yeah, not the greatest.
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I have short little spurts of time when she's napping that I might be able to get something done.
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However, I've gotten a few things done, and I've even added a few more things to my plate added a few more things to my plate.
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Yeah, you've managed to take time off to, uh, acclimate to a newborn.
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And then, um, why, why not just add a bunch more chaos, stress and responsibility to your plate when you're, you know, raising a newborn and trying to figure out a schedule?
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yeah, why not?
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Why not?
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Well sounds like my life Chaos coordinator.
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That's me.
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That sounds about right.
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Our life certainly is chaos and it doesn't feel coordinated at this moment.
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But speaking of coordination, how about you let the people in on something that you've been up to?
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You've been up to, um, you know, let's uh, let's, let's uh.
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I was going to say spread our legs a little bit, but I shouldn't, so I won't, I won't say that, I won't say that.
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Spread our wings a little bit.
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There you go.
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Um well, uh, during this last two months off, um, I have done some research.
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Well, I've been doing some research for a number of like years.
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Yeah, yeah, actually I'm trying to find the right um company.
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I just saw nothing but a stick of toes go straight up in the air and she just she's just fling her blankets off to cool herself down.
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Yeah, that's.
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This kid is fully indulging in some Yankees baseball Binky.
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Let me see if I can get a picture of her.
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Oh my God.
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And she just was.
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Like you know what I'm hot here.
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I'm going to stick my leg up, get my toes out into the breeze, cool myself down, w down, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle my toes.
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I see you're wiggling your toes.
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Piggy, piggy piggies, can't you see Piggy, piggy piggies.
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Sometimes you hypnotize me.
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That's a little sneak preview of my nursery rhymes.
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Those are good ones.
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I got some gems.
